“Do you still feel that way?”
“No,” I replied honestly.
“Good,” she whispered softly, touching my shoulder with her lips. She laid her arm across my waist, pressing her cheek to my chest, before breathing a sigh against my heart.
And my heart sighed back.
Chapter Fifteen
GOOD SLEEP WAS as foreign to me as pride and self-acceptance. So, when I awoke with the unfamiliar sensation of being well rested, it was as if my entire body awoke with a sigh. How wonderful it was to face the window without dread. How peaceful it was to have her still coiled around my body in a cocooning embrace.
I allowed myself a smile, like I had forgotten my own life. I nuzzled my cheek against the top of her blonde head and coaxed myself to find that incredible sleep I'd had just minutes ago, my arm tightening around her shoulders. She unraveled with a dreamy sigh, sliding her hand from my chest to my waist, to hug me closer. Together, we neared the edge of deep sleep once more, and as my head grew heavier and my limbs grew limp, I was shaken by my phone.
As it vibrated on my nightstand, I thought for a moment that it was an alarm I’d forgotten to turn off. I grabbed the damn thing and peered at the screen through bleary eyes, ready to dismiss a reminder to wake up, when I realized it wasn’t an alarm, but a call from Mom.
“Fuck,” I muttered, unwinding my other arm from around Audrey’s shoulders and sliding it out from under her. She protested with a groan as I sat up, cleared my throat, and answered hastily. "Hey, Mom," I said, feigning awareness and clarity in my tone.
"Did I wake you up?"
“Uh …”
“You sound hungover,” she accused suspiciously.
Of everything I’d drank the night before, I could safely say my hangover wasn't derived from the alcohol. The sex, maybe. The girl, absolutely. But not the alcohol.
"No, I'm fine."
"Hm," she grunted with suspicion. "Okay. Well, I need you to keep an eye on Jake today. I have some stuff I need to do.”
“Uh, s-sure.” My eyes flitted toward Audrey, now wide-awake beside me, staring at me with question and lust.
She wanted me again, and I wanted her, but there wasn’t time for that. She needed to get out, and she needed to get out now.
“We had an early day today, right, Jakey?” Mom went on. “We went to the store and ran a couple errands, and then we had brunch at this adorable little—"
"What time is it?" I asked both my mother and Audrey.
Audrey won the race to tell me. "It's twelve forty-five," she whispered.
Almost one? I rarely slept after seven. "Jesus, it's late," I said to the two of them. "How long until you're here, Mom?"
"Oh, um ... fifteen minutes, maybe?"
Fifteen minutes. It was enough time to get Audrey out of here and to make myself look as though I hadn't engaged in a night of sex and mind-numbing sleep. I calculated my plan down to the nanosecond and hastily told my mom I needed to go. I hung up and looked directly at Audrey, both menacingly and regretfully.
"You really need to go." And for good measure, I added, "Now."
Audrey nodded, standing from the bed to grab her clothes. "Yeah, I got that."
She sounded hurt and I didn't want that. I just wanted her to understand the very real possibility of my mother seeing her in my house and immediately assuming there was something more than a one-night stand and an unexplained attraction between us. So, I approached her steadily and laid a hand on her shoulder. My fingertips remembered her skin, her touch, and her voice from last night, curling sensually around my name, and I held back the urgency to take her mouth once again.
"My mom is on the way with Jake," I explained hurriedly, trying not to focus on the ticking clock and failing miserably. "She hasn't seen me with a woman in ..." When was the last time either of my parents had seen me with someone? It felt impossible that it could be years, but I was about to be thirty-four and my last serious relationship met its end when I was in my early twenties. Could it really have been that long? A decade?
"Well, it's been a long time," I concluded and mustered a smile to mask my embarrassment.
"Oh, I gotcha," she replied, nodding with instant understanding. "She'll start filling scrapbooks with wedding plans and baby names."
My skin scattered with goosebumps and my gut tied in a thousand complicated knots. "Yeah.”
She moved away from my touch to get dressed and I dropped my hand to my side. She slipped her feet into her shoes that lifted her up a few more inches. In her tight-fitting pants and flowing top, she walked from my room to the bathroom, moving gracefully like a ballerina on a runway, and I thought, no woman had ever made a morning after look so glamorous.
"What is she like?" she called, and next came the telltale sign of liquid hitting porcelain. The woman had left the bathroom door open as she peed, too comfortable to care if I heard, and it felt stupid how much something so silly could leave my chest aching with need and desperation.
"Who?"
"Your mom."
She flushed the toilet and the faucet ran. I took that moment to stand in the open doorway, arms crossed and scowling in thought.
"My mom's okay," I replied simply.
"But?" My eyes met Audrey's and she smirked knowingly.
Chuckling softly, I shrugged. "We don’t get along very well.”
"Oh, I never would've guessed," she laughed, washing her hands before raking her wet fingertips through her hair. "Do you have an extra toothbrush?"
Soundlessly, I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed one of the brushes my dentist kept me stocked with. She accepted it with a grateful smile, as I went on, “Things have been tense between us for a long time, but after … after the accident, it always pissed me off the way my parents were handling it. I told them they should be doing something more for Jake than what they were doing at home.”
"Which was?"
"Nothing," I stated bluntly, unsure of why I was shedding these truths to her like dry, brittle skin. "They weren't doing a damn thing for him. It was like, they became so fucking complacent when they realized he wasn’t gonna go to Yale or some shit. They weren’t giving him a chance to get better, in whatever way he could. So, when I was finally out of the house, I made a deal with them, that I’d get him into a program that would help him. You know, give him something to do, people to see. I thought it was the least I could do. And if I failed, then they could take over again, but under the agreement that they would find him help, instead of just going back to the way shit was before."
"I see," she replied softly, nodding. "That’s common. I think sometimes parents can be complacent about these kinds of things. And it’s usually not for lack of caring, but lack of knowledge. Not to mention, it’s so overwhelming.”
“Exactly,” I muttered, pinching my lips and bobbing my head with agreement.
“So, I'm guessing that's kinda where you're at now, then."
"What was your first clue?" The question came out gruff and gritted, squashed between my teeth.
"All I asked was what your mom's like." She laughed, immediately lightening the mood, and I shook my head as I fought an unbeatable smile.