I nodded contemplatively, thinking about his obsession with Legos and how it hadn’t existed before the accident. He might’ve lost his talent for drawing, but he hadn’t completely lost his artistic ability. It’d just manifested differently. “I guess I never thought about that before.”
“And hey, man, what’s up with that color thing? He told me I’m tan, and dude,” he glanced down at his all-black attire, “I ain’t wearin’ any tan.”
Flipping the pancakes onto a plate, I chuckled lightly. “Yeah, he sees, uh …” I pinched my lips, considering how to explain it to him, then simply said, “He sees auras.”
“No shit?”
“Yeah, it’s a, um, a gift, I guess. He’s good at reading people, knows who to trust.” I handed him the plate and noticed his worry expressed in the clench of his jaw. I smiled assuredly and said, “Tan’s a good one. It usually means you’re friendly.”
Shane gave an approving nod. “Damn straight.” Then, he faltered, squinted one eye and asked, “So, that means he likes me, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “You’re good.”
Shane headed toward the table with the plate of pancakes and said, “Hey, you know, you could actually work that into your ink.”
I dropped the sausage links from the pan onto another plate and narrowed my eyes as I worked. “Huh?”
“I mean, you could still do your gritty shit, man; it’s your signature. But, think about it. How cool would it be to incorporate just a splash of personalized color into someone’s ink? Kinda like the butterfly, but it doesn’t have to be the same.”
“Huh,” I muttered, granting the thought permission to seep in. “It’s not a bad idea.” In actuality, I loved it.
“You could work with Jake,” Shane pointed out, and the reminder of why that wouldn’t work struck me as a lance to the gut.
“Yeah,” I said, not allowing my emotions to reach the surface. “It’s definitely something to think about,” and I left it at that.
***
Audrey came out from the kitchen with four beers pinched between her fingers. She handed them out to Shane and Cee, then came to perch on my lap while passing a cold bottle into my hand. Settling her back against my chest, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and took a pull from the bottle. With my eyes closed and my temple pressed to hers, I listened to Jake and Freddy playing animatedly down the hall, tasted the beer, and in this moment, this brief and satisfying moment, I was happy.
“My God, they’re so cute,” Cee commented, and I opened my eyes to see her nudging the neck of her bottle toward the hall just as Freddy squealed and Jake declared he was “gonna get him.”
Audrey nodded. “They’re totally B-F-F’s.”
I eyed her with skepticism. “I dunno about that. Freddy mentioned something to me about another kid at his school.”
Smirking with a dash of seduction, she shook her head and grasped my chin in her hand. “Nuh-uh. Freddy told me the other day; Jake is his best friend.” Then, with the gentle quality I’d come to expect from her, she kissed me lightly. I took a breath, like I always did when her lips were on mine, as if that was the only time I was permitted to have air.
“Well, I guess we better get going, since these two obviously need a room,” Shane teased.
Audrey pulled away just in time for Cee to whack Shane’s chest lightly with her hand. “I’m finishing this beer first, thanks,” she retorted with a laugh. Then she looked to Audrey and said, “My ex has the kids for the weekend. I’m gonna take advantage of it.”
“Girl, there’s a case of twelve in there with your name on it,” Audrey replied, laughing and settling against me once again.
“Hallelujah!” Cee knocked back the beer with a hefty gulp before raising the bottle to me. “I love your girlfriend, Blake. She gets me.”
With a sincerity building in my chest, I waited for Shane and Cee to find a distraction in what was happening on the TV before putting my lips to Audrey’s ear and whispering, “I love my girlfriend, too.”
She hummed gently, smiling and layering her arms over mine. “You’re getting soft.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I replied, “but is that really such a bad thing?”
“Well, I’d say it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, so,” she turned and touched her lips to mine once again and said, “I’d say, no.”
***
The house was dark and quiet. With their sleeping bags rolled out in the living room, Jake and Freddy were fast asleep while Gremlins continued to play for the second time that evening. Audrey moved slowly into my bedroom and closed the door behind her, leaving it open just a bit in case Freddy needed her.
“Jake’s never had a slumber party before,” I mentioned, pulling my t-shirt off. “Well, not since the accident, anyway.”
Audrey kicked her shoes off as she nodded. “You’ve told me he didn’t have a lot of friends.”
I shook my head. “No. He didn’t have any friends. The ones he did have ditched him,” I corrected her, dropping my hands to the studded belt around my waist. “When I’ve told you that my parents did nothing for him, I mean, they did nothing. He hardly left the damn house. They thought it’d make it easier on him, on them, if he didn’t go out. So,” I pulled the belt free in one aggravated tug, “the only time he’d see other kids our age, was when I brought people over.”
“And he wasn’t allowed to play with you?”
“When we were younger, he did.” I undid my fly, watching her intently as she removed her yellow shirt in a way that appeared almost as a dance. Her movements were so delicate, so graceful, and with the fluidity of water, I watched the fabric, as it drifted to the floor. “But as we got older, my friends didn’t like having him around.”
“That’s not their fault,” she interjected softly. “They were just kids.”
“Nah,” I shook my head, “I know. I never really thought it had anything to do with him being, you know, different. It was always more that he was into stuff we didn’t like, or even just the fact that they weren’t his friends, you know? They came over to hang out with me, not my brother.”
“That used to happen with Sabrina and me. We didn’t share a lot of the same friends.”
Dropping my jeans and sitting on the bed, I nodded before faltering and saying, “I feel like I’m insane.”
“Why do you say that?”
Raking my fingers from both hands through my hair, I hung my head and stared at the floor. “Because I was always so convinced that these people hated him, when they didn’t. My mother told me that they did, that’s why they weren’t allowed over, and not once did I ever think to question it.”
Stepping toward me, Audrey took my hands in hers and held them tight. “Look at me,” she commanded, and I did. Even now, when such ugliness threatened to shroud every sliver of light, she was there, glowing and beautiful. “This is the last time I ever want to hear you blame yourself, do you understand? Nothing that happened was your fault, absolutely nothing—not even the accident. You were a victim, simple as that.”