Emma: He said: ‘That’s easy to say when someone else has paid for you to be here.’
I was going to say that I only came because Mum wanted me to. He wasn’t done, though. He was shouting in my face. I could see the red veins across his nose from where he’s such a massive pisshead.
He goes: ‘I don’t think you’re in a position to be lecturing others on morals.’ Then he held up his wine glass and angled it towards me, like he’s making a toast. He said something like: ‘Chill out. Have a drink and enjoy yourself.’
Julius: I thought Emma was going to smack him. I looked across to this waiter who was carrying some dirty plates across towards the kitchen. He was frozen and watching, like everyone was. There was this long pause and it felt like anything could happen. Good job Mum was there.
Emma: The words were stuck, like I couldn’t get out a reply. He knew exactly what he was doing when he tilted that wine glass towards me. You know that saying about ‘When they go low, we go high’? Daniel is the opposite. He’ll go as low as he possibly can… though not in any physical sense, of course. It’s been a good two decades since he last saw his feet over that gut.
Daniel: Back in your box, little girl. Back in your box.
Emma: Dad just sat there and it was Mum who answered. She spoke really quietly – and yet it felt so powerful. Like, sometimes the quietest voice in the room is the one that talks the loudest. She goes: ‘Let’s not do this now.’
That put an end to it because everyone listened to her, even Daniel. Daniel gulped his wine, then turned to Julius at the other end of the table and asked something about how Julius’s bank was doing. I don’t remember exactly how Julius replied, but it was something like how it had been a big three months and that the only reason they’d given him the days off for the holiday was because he’d built up so much time owing.
I wish I’d listened properly now. I didn’t know then that it would be important.
Julius: I don’t think anyone asked about the bank.
Emma: That first dinner set the tone. It wasn’t just me and Daniel, although I guess we were the loudest. Liz was moaning on about how she could only get one bar of reception on her mobile. She kept saying how it was like being in a third-world country, even though she was eating an all-inclusive buffet, while chugging down the red wine like it was water. She’s the sort who’d be surprised to find out they have electricity in the north – but then she did choose to marry Daniel, so her judgement isn’t the best.
Then there was Victor and Claire sitting in the middle, hardly saying anything to each other. Claire was barely eating, while Vic’s plate was piled high with meat, fish, and probably a bit of everything else from the buffet.
…
I feel sorry for Vic sometimes, considering who his parents are. Then I remember that he’s a forty-year-old man and that he’s made his own decisions. I don’t know how or why Claire married him. Julius, Vic and me are all stuck with these families – but she chose to marry in.
…
I suppose I’m not one to talk about making bad decisions.
Julius: Victor and Claire hated each other. No doubt about that.
Claire Dorsey (wife of Victor Dorsey): I didn’t want to be at that dinner and I never should have gone on that holiday. Vic wanted a free trip and he somehow talked me into going. He said we could get our marriage back on track with a week in the sun to relax. I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I suppose I didn’t see anything wrong with spending a week by the pool. More fool me, huh?
Emma: Sometimes I wonder whether everything would have been different had I been sitting next to Claire. We’d have found something to talk about and there wouldn’t have been all those arguments at the very beginning.
After the row with Daniel, things calmed down for a minute or two – then Dad asked me to get him some more of the paella. I stood up to do it without thinking. Part of it was probably because I wanted to get away from Daniel – but I think there was a moment where I felt like a little girl again. When I’d been young and we’d been on the same holiday, Dad would’ve asked me to fill up his plate from the buffet and it felt like going back through time. Before I knew it, I was scooping rice onto a plate.
Claire: As soon as Emma headed off to the buffet, I followed. There was too much tension at that table.
Emma: Claire was standing next to me and we were making small talk about the food. Nonsense stuff, like about how the crab looked nice and all that. If someone wrote down half the stuff people make small talk about, we’d all sound completely mad.
I ended up apologising to Claire for the shouting at the table and she smiled at me, as if to say it was all right. I think I needed that.
Claire: Emma fascinated me. She seemed so nice… so normal. Perhaps the only normal one there. But then, when you know what she did, it’s hard to put it all together, isn’t it? I wanted to ask her about it, but I didn’t know her well enough.
Emma: There were two platters of paella; one with fish and the other with pork. I got the pork one because of Dad’s shellfish thing. It was an automatic thing. I barely thought about it.
Claire: I didn’t know anything about Geoff being allergic to shellfish. This is the first I’ve heard.
Emma: It felt like Claire wanted to say something to me, but she never did. We stood there awkwardly and then we headed back to the table. Julius was still wearing that stupid necklace, and was making the twins laugh by flicking food around on a spoon. I suppose that broke the tension, even if someone was going to have to clean it up eventually.
I remember watching them and hearing the girls giggle. It was so pure – but that makes it worse sometimes.
…
I keep saying things that I know will make me sound bad.
…
I shouldn’t say this, but there are times when I couldn’t bear to look at the twins. I know they’re my nieces, but, sometimes, being with them makes everything that happened before that feel so real. I’ll be fine and then I’ll hear one of them laughing and I’m back on the side of the road. It’s not their fault, I know that.
Julius: Amy and Chloe only wanted to eat ice cream. I was trying to distract them.
Emma: I gave Dad his food and he said something about the hotel’s paella being the best in the world. I wasn’t really listening because I could still hear the twins laughing. It took me out of everything for a moment. The next thing I remember is Dad banging his ring on the side of his wine glass.
Claire: I never realised that signet ring would play such a part in my life.
Emma: It’s an emerald signet ring that he always wears. Dad clinked his glass loudly enough to make everyone on the table stop talking and then he stood up. I didn’t realise how much wine he’d had, but he was already slurring his words when he spoke.
He said that we were there to celebrate his and Mum’s thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, plus Mum’s sixtieth birthday. They both wanted everyone there and they saw Daniel and Liz as family. I suppose I wondered why Mum and Dad were paying for everything if that was the case – but it was their money and I didn’t worry too much.