But the sound wouldn’t come.
The confession wouldn’t come.
She’d already given that piece to someone else, and there was no more left to share.
“Thank you,” she rasped instead.
Xander blinked for a moment, giving her time to continue, and then he drew himself up, trying to hide the disappointment that so obviously flashed over his features.
“It’s beautiful,” she offered lamely.
He smiled warmly. “I’m glad you think so.”
“I do,” she said, to fill the silence. “I really do.”
“Anyway…” He cleared his throat. “That was all I wanted to talk to you about, so, um, yeah. I have a few more books I was meaning to review, but I was told by an unnamed informant that you’d been itching to get back into the practice fields and stretch your wings, so I told my mother you wouldn’t be seeing her again today. Helen is wicked with knives. She’s waiting for you, to give you a lesson, if you want one.”
For the first time in minutes, Lyana felt as though she could breathe. And she did, sucking in a long, restorative breath, before letting a real, honest smile spread her lips. “Would this unnamed informant happen to have black-and-white speckled wings and a name that rhymes with sassy?”
He laughed softly. The mood between them eased. “A true prince never reveals his sources.”
“And a true princess already knows them anyway,” Lyana retorted. She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek, because it was the best she could do, and something he might not have expected. “Thank you, Xander.”
With that small gesture, she turned and left, trying her best to walk casually and not run from the room. She glanced over her shoulder just as the door was closing to find a grimace on Xander's face as he shook his head and mumbled something that sounded awfully close to idiot. She kept walking. Once the door closed, she started running to the nearest window and then leapt into the sky.
Though she ached to pump her wings, soar into the horizon, and never stop, she arched gently down to the balcony outside her room instead. The ring was a heavy weight on her hand, so she slipped it off and placed it on the nightstand, trying to ignore the way the emerald seemed to watch her, judge her, as she practically tore the gown from her shoulders and dropped it to the floor, letting the cool air wash over her scorching, itchy skin. Unable to bear it, Lyana grabbed the ring and shut it inside a box, but the weight of watching eyes remained, following her from the room and to the practice yards and then to dinner that night, never relenting for the remainder of the day.
53
Cassi
Cassi was convinced the servants considered her the laziest person in the world, sleeping at all hours of the day, lounging like the queen she wasn’t as they tried to work around her. But the truth was that, as the days passed and Lyana’s birthday neared, it was just easier to slip into her spirit body and live vicariously through everyone else, rather than shoulder the heavy burden of her lies any longer.
Sometimes she watched Rafe, alone in his room, twirling his twin blades through empty air, a grim line on his lips and a hard look in his eyes. Sometimes she followed Lyana, noting her friend’s longing glances outside, the forced smile on her face, the way she ruffled her wings like a caged bird aching to escape. Cassi discovered that her favorite place was a small room at the very top of the castle where the walls were made of books and a warm fire usually burned and a lonely prince often read to pass the time. She drifted along the shelves, reading the spines, hating that her invisible fingers slid right through the pages rather than gripping them, but relieved her spirit body didn’t require glasses the way her physical body did. When Xander was there, she’d lean over his shoulder to read the open volume in his lap, though most recently he’d been scanning map after map after map, frustration pursing his lips.
You’re not going crazy, she wanted to whisper in his ear like a guardian spirit. The isle was shrinking, slowly over a long period of time, but shrinking nonetheless. They all were, all seven houses. As the magic in the god stones weakened, chunks of rock fell away, no longer held in the air by the spell, falling back where they belonged—into the world below. It was only a matter of time before the damage grew worse, more noticeable, more fatal. Only a matter of time before someone aside from the crown prince of the least respected house took notice.
Cassi kept her lips sealed.
Because it was time her king direly needed.
She’d already found him that evening and gone over the plans a final time. Now it was a waiting game. Lyana’s birthday was only one day away. They were throwing a celebration in her honor tomorrow, and the next day was the mating ceremony. More importantly, it was the day her friend turned eighteen. Cassi had no idea at what hour Lyana had been born, so as soon as midnight struck, she would be on alert, waiting for the sign, any sign, that Lyana was the person Cassi knew in her soul she was. Everyone was in position. Everyone was ready. There was only one more stop to make before morning broke.
It felt longer than three weeks since she’d last seen him, since she’d been the one sleeping underneath that ashen wing, since she’d been the one wrapped within those loving arms.
Luka.
Cassi floated over his bed, an odd sensation of both pleasure and pain swirling across her spirit as she watched him with his mate. The new princess of the House of Peace was beautiful, skin like porcelain, auburn wings that glowed amber in the soft candlelight. A small smile was barely visible over the curve of the shale-tinted feathers covering her in her sleep. Luka’s face was relaxed, at ease. No creases. Dark skin perfectly smooth. They were curled toward each other like two sides of a heart, a moment she hated to interrupt, but nonetheless would.
Cassi pressed her wispy hand to his brow and dove into his dream. The chaos of his mind was like a calm stream compared to the rushing torrent of her king’s, but that was to be expected. People with strong magic dreamed in brighter colors and louder sounds, in flashing sparks fueled by the power, a madness far more charged than that of a normal soul like Luka’s. But Cassi didn’t mind, in fact she liked it. She enjoyed slipping into the dream as though she were sliding into a cool lake on a hot day, rather than wrestling some beast to the ground.
The image was woven in an instant, maybe because she’d lived it so many times before. The two of them were in her room at the crystal palace, an hour before the sun was about to rise, when mauve dawn shone through the translucent wall, glittering across his ashy wings. His hand was beneath her cheek. Hers were huddled up against his chest. And though she knew it wasn’t fair to make him dream this dream when he had a new mate and new life of his own, she couldn’t stop herself. She wanted one more morning of waking up in his arms, of feeling like nothing more than a woman, simple and safe and secure, not the monster she knew she was about to become, the monster her deeds would turn her into.
“Cassi?” he murmured, eyes blinking open.
“Shh.” She pressed her finger against his plush lips. They widened into a broad smile beneath her touch, but he remained quiet, watching her as though the entire world lived within her eyes.
Had he dreamed this dream before?
After she’d left?