14
Thorsen
“What the hell is going on with you?” Calder removes the fencing mask and tosses his sabre aside. “You’re not even paying attention.”
“Nothing’s going on.” I tear off my own mask and chuck it onto the mat as I reach for a bottle of water.
“Talk to me.” He scowls. “Or you know I’m going to assume the worst.”
When I meet my brother’s gaze, a part of me feels guilty for hiding the little fire breathing animal worshipper in my guest room. Calder and I have never had secrets. Not since the first one almost tore us apart. But I’m aware of what will happen if he discovers her, and maybe I’m just selfish. We’ve had a history of sharing women. He helped me through my formative years, paving the way for the only semblance of a normal sex life I’ve known. For years, that situation has worked. He did the talking and charming, and I could just get a release. But when it comes to Ella, I want her only for myself. It’s a thought I don’t want to examine too closely. For now, it’s just better if Calder doesn’t know.
“You have no need to worry,” I tell him. “I’m just… distracted.”
Sorrow settles into his features. “The last time you told me I didn’t need to worry, I almost lost you.”
My throat squeezes at the memory of that dark day. Calder was the one who found me with the noose around my neck. If I learned anything from that experience, it was that it almost destroyed him to see me like that. Next time, I won’t make the same mistake.
“I’ve spoken with Dr. Blom,” he says. “He agrees that I should attend one of your sessions. Mor thinks it’s a good idea as well.”
I pivot, my palm twitching with the urge to deck my brother. “You told Mor about this?”
“She was concerned.” He cocks his head to the side. “You didn’t seem as excited as she thought you would about Lavinia.”
“That’s because I’m not.”
“If she isn’t the woman you’ve been looking for, then who is?”
I crane my neck from side to side, attempting to release the pent-up pressure that seems to be a permanent resident there. “It makes no difference.”
“I’ve never seen you so out of sorts. And then you showed up with a gash on your head, which I still don’t believe happened on your run.”
“Believe what you want.” I reach for my bag and start stripping out of my uniform. “I’d rather not meet with the inquisition every time I see you.”
“Then stop lying to me,” he growls.
“I have to go.”
“Thor.” He snatches my arm, halting me. “Just promise me… you aren’t going back to that hole again.”
My eyes cloud over, and my brother becomes little more than a blurry shape as I stare back at him. “I’m tired of this conversation. Don’t ask me again.”
“I have your lunch.”
Ella turns away from the wall, dropping the flogger in her hand with a guilty expression. She’s more curious than I expected her to be, and I’m not quite certain what to make of her behavior. I can’t imagine what her thoughts are. She isn’t easy to read like other women, and she never does what I expect. It fascinates me, and it irritates me.
“Thank you.”
She watches me as I set the tray down onto the small table near the door. Her arms are folded, and she’s in the robe from her bathroom. I should scold her for that, but I think maybe I like this small act of defiance just as much as she does.
I’m still thinking of her lips wrapped around my cock, and it’s unsettling how much upheaval she’s created in my sense of normalcy. I’ve had blow jobs before. I’ve had releases before. But I’ve never had someone worship me the way that Ella did. I’ve never felt… so much. Her passion. Her pretty eyes staring up at me with the desire to please me. The warmth seeping back into my veins and reminding me that I’m human. I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing to me, but I don’t like it. And still, I’m considering how long is reasonable before I make her do it again.
“Come eat,” I order.
Her eyes dart to the food, and she hesitates. I can’t understand why. She’s hardly eaten since she’s been here, and I don’t want the added task of forcing food down her throat.
“I don’t think I can sit,” she says finally.
“Your ass is still sore?”
She nods, and something like guilt settles into my gut. I’ve never had to take care of someone before. I don’t even know where to begin. She’s mine now, and if I were a true dominant, I would know how to take care of my toys. But Ella is the first who’s only ever been mine, and this is new for me.
I think I should tell her to deal with it because I can’t afford to be soft with her. But even as I’m telling myself that, I’m walking into the bathroom and digging through the cupboard. When I find the aloe, I return and try to appear as if I know what the hell I’m doing.
“Come here.” I sit down on the edge of the bed, and Ella obeys me, padding over to me softly.
Setting the bottle aside, I reach for the knot on her robe and untie it, pushing the seams apart until the silky material slides off her shoulders and pools on the floor. Her nipples are tight, and I want to bury my face in the softness of her tits right now.
I need to focus on what it is I’m meant to be doing, so I tug her closer and hoist her body up, laying her across my thighs. The soft, rounded curves of her ass still bear the marks of my handprints, and I’m not surprised that she’s hesitant to sit. She will feel me every time she does, and the idea is far too agreeable for my own liking.
Squeezing some aloe from the bottle, I smear it over her ass cheeks, and she sucks in a breath between her teeth. My hand pauses, and I try to gentle my touch for her benefit, which has the immediate effect of making her relax against me.
I continue to massage the aloe into her skin, long after it’s even necessary. But my eyes are on her face, studying the lines and slopes. Her eyes flutter in appreciation when my fingers skim over her curves. I didn’t see it before, but I can see it now. She likes my affection.
I should stop. I shouldn’t ever give her what she wants. But instead, my fingers slip between her thighs. Ella whimpers when I touch her clit, and her eyes fly open, snaring mine into a holding pattern I can’t seem to break. Neither one of us can look away as I continue to stroke her. Within seconds, her lips part and her body responds to me. I’ve never experienced someone so reactive to my touch, and I want more. I want all of it.
I pull her up, startling her as I flip her onto her back and lower my body over hers. My fingers find their home between her thighs again, and I latch onto her breast with my mouth, sucking at her until she arches up into me, her fingers curling into my hair. It’s an unwritten rule that she isn’t supposed to touch me, but I don’t stop her. I don’t stop her because it feels strangely comfortable.
When I’m done assaulting her tits with my mouth, I do the next illogical thing, which is to bring my lips to hers. Ella kisses me back, and I swallow her pleasure as I bring her closer to climax. Our faces are a breath apart, and it’s an intimacy I’ve never known. But I can’t stop touching her, tasting her, inhaling her. I feel drunk and feverish when she comes with a strangled cry. Her fingers dig into my scalp, and it only intensifies the manic energy surging through my body. Long after I’ve milked the last of her release from her, I’m still kissing her. Branding her with my hands and teeth and lips. I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing to me.