“That’s what she’s led me to believe. I’m assuming that means he’s not hung, or at least not hung the way you are, unless she previously had a career in porn that I don’t know about.”
I shrug. “He’s not small.” We all walk around the locker room naked. Junk is junk.
Violet holds up a hand. “I already know more than I’d like about their anal antics. I have no interest in knowing the dimensions of Darren’s doodle.”
“So you can say anal and I can’t?”
“When you say it, your voice gets all low and growly, like you’re thinking about an invasion.” She glances at the plug in my hand. “Can you please put that thing down? Just looking at it is making me anxious.”
“It’s still in the packaging, Violet. It’s not going to bite you.”
“And that’s exactly where it’s going to stay, so don’t get any ideas.”
I hold my fingers up and wiggle them. “It’s not like it’s any different than these.”
She snatches it out of my hand and waves it in my face. “This is more like two fingers, not just one!”
“It’s more like my thumb, and I bet you could take two, especially now that we have that lube.”
Violet’s mouth drops open and she pokes me in the chest, still waving the butt plug around. “I can practically see you scheming, Alex. You think if you can get something like this in there, then the next logical step is the Super MC, but they’re not even remotely similar. That’s like comparing a Slim Jim to a bratwurst!”
“You’re exaggerating again, Violet. My cock is not that big.”
“Really, Alex?” She slaps the butt plug on the counter and aggressively pulls at the button on my pants, then roughly unzips the fly. She yanks my pants and boxers down enough so that my cock pops out. “Why are you so hard right now?”
I give her a look. “Because we’re talking about sex.”
“Butt sex! Why does ass invasion warrant this kind of reaction? Why do you have to be so excited about the prospect?” She squeezes my cock as if to demonstrate how much my excitement annoys her. “Super MC is like level five hard right now. I don’t buy for a second that you didn’t order this.”
She releases my cock and starts fighting with the packaging. Once the plug is free, she grips it in her fist and shakes her hand in front of my face. “Look at this!”
“I’m looking, baby.” My voice is low, gritty—I suppose she’s right about my tone when we’re discussing things like this.
She glares at me. “Don’t sex voice me right now, Alex.”
“I’m not sex voicing you on purpose. You were just touching my cock. I can’t help that it makes me excited.”
“It’s the Area 51 talk that’s making you excited.” It an accusation.
“Well, yeah, baby. It’s like my unicorn, and you’re all worked up, and touching me, and pissed off and I think, if you’re honest with yourself, you’re turned on and just a little curious.”
“I am not!”
“Then why are your cheeks so flushed? And why are your nipples hard?” I brush one with my thumb. It was just a guess, but I’m right, I can feel it pebbling through her bra.
She slaps my hand away. “They’re not hard and I’m flushed because we’re arguing and you bought Area 51 stuff from an online sex store.”
“I swear, I didn’t order this stuff.” I pry the plug from her fist and set it on the counter.
“Well, where the hell did it come from?”
I switch tactics, because I need her to calm down and relax. I would also like to be able to do something constructive with this hard-on of mine. “I don’t know. Maybe it was sent by mistake.” I sweep her ponytail over her shoulder. “Violet, have I ever pushed you to do something you didn’t want to?”
She purses her lips and then sighs dramatically. “Well . . .”
I arch a brow as I trail my finger from her shoulder up the side of her neck. It makes her eyelids flutter. “Have I?”
“No,” she reluctantly admits.
“Exactly. So do you really think I’d order Area 51 stuff when I know this is the kind of reaction I’m going to get?” I’d like to pull her closer, but if I do, I’ll jab her in the stomach with my hard-on, which is still hanging out of my pants.
“That still doesn’t explain how it magically got mailed to you.”
I glance at the bottle of lube. It’s from the same company I did a condom endorsement for. “Maybe it has something to do with the endorsement contracts my agent wants me to review. Maybe she thinks she’s being funny.”
“You are not doing an endorsement for anal lube, Alex. Then people will think I let you in my ass with your extra large cock all the time.”
“No, they won’t.”
She props a fist on her hip. “Oh yes, they will. Everyone believes you have a huge dick because you did that XL condom promo and that milk advertisement in just a pair of underwear—and while that assumption is actually accurate, the last thing I want is people to think you’re parking that bus in my butt!”
“That’s quite the image you’re painting, sweetheart, and as much as my ego appreciates it, you’re doing that exaggerating thing again.”
“It’s not an exaggeration. You’re a monster!” She grabs hold of my hanging cock again. “Look at my fingers, Alex. Look at the gap between my finger and thumb!”
“I’m looking.” I’m back to that low, gravelly voice.
“I don’t have small hands.”
“They’re small compared to mine.” I cover her fingers with my own and encourage her to squeeze.
“This is serious,” she says, but her voice lacks its former conviction. Instead, it’s softer and just the tiniest bit breathless.
“I agree, and I promise you I won’t endorse anything you’re not comfortable with.” I keep up the slow, easy strokes, sweeping our thumbs over the head as I take a step closer.
“Alex.” Now it’s just a whisper.
I caress her cheek with my free hand, then skim her bottom lip with my thumb. I dip my head, and when my mouth is a breath away from hers, I murmur, “I’m sorry this freaked you out.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry if I overreacted. You know it just makes me nervous.”
“Would I ever do anything to hurt you?” I brush my lips over hers.
She swallows hard, fingertips slipping into the hair at the nape of my neck. “No.”
“Don’t I always make you feel good?” I trail gentle fingers over her breasts, still covered in layers of fabric. I’m going to fix that soon. I just need her slightly more relaxed.
“Yes.”
“That’s right, baby. That’s all I ever want to do, isn’t it? I just want to make you feel good, don’t I?” I nod slowly and she mimics the movement.
Violet nods, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy. It’s perfect. I have her in exactly the state I want her.
“So you’re gonna let me do that now, aren’t you?”
“That would be nice.”