“You pulled me in, then publicly pushed me away, knowing that whoever targeted my sister would think I’d be an easy next target. Whatever she knew, they had to know she’d tell you, but she never got the chance.”
“And maybe, if she knew, then her sister, her heart, would also know.” I shrug. “For this past year, you thought you were invisible to us because that’s what we wanted you to think. I kept close, just in case.”
“No one seemed to care about me. That is, until you started bringing me closer.”
“Whoever hurt Reed wasn’t coming for you. You stayed untouched until the night of the football game. I should have known then. I shouldn’t have let you walk through campus alone. I saw you leave in the middle of the game. Whoever attacked you had to have been there as well.”
“There’s a lot that can be said about should haves, but we can’t think like that. For instance, I should have pushed you away, seen through your show.” The heart monitor speeds up, a warning of Palmer’s heightened anxiety. “You should have stopped Byron before his psycho ass could have been unleashed on me.” The beep gets louder and faster.
A nurse walks in, silencing Palmer’s argument, and then quiets the machine. She glares at me, instinctively knowing I’m the cause of Palmer’s stress.
I hiss out a breath once the nurse leaves. “After the attack, I forced Dixon to look at the report at the police station, but there wasn’t one,” I divulge.
“Well, security wasn’t much help. Told me I should expect a phone call from the detective from the police station, and I still haven’t heard anything, so I’m not that surprised.” She fidgets, and I offer her my hand. She stares at it, only to ignore my offer and scoots higher in the bed on her own. “Tonight, when one of you cornered me between the buildings—”
“What? Wait, what are you talking about?” My spine stiffens. What is she talking about?
“When you all rushed me out of the bonfire, I walked through campus. One of you cornered me between two of the buildings. Said something about being after more than my money, that something I had was more valuable.”
A shiver runs up my spine. “Palmer, that wasn’t us.”
She pulls the blanket to her chin, like it will protect her. “Then who was it, Marek? Because someone was after me. He stopped following me once I went into the woods. I assumed it was you guys because you showed up just a few minutes later.”
“I have no idea.” Our expressions match. We’re both worried.
“You four did all this because you think Reed’s disappearance isn’t a cut and dry, random act of violence? You think it was planned, that she somehow got herself mixed up into something?”
“We did all of this for her, and yes, because she was our everything. I didn’t see you coming.” Damn, that’s painful to say out loud.
“What about me?” Hurt creeps into her beautiful blue eyes. “What am I to you?”
“It wasn’t supposed to go this far, to reach this point. I’m not here to make excuses for Byron, but when it comes to Reed—”
“I’m blinded.” Byron walks into the room.
Palmer visibly retreats into herself, and I stand, blocking the path between him and her. I catch her reaching for the nurses’ button and grab it before she can.
“I’m not going to hurt her, Marek, but I would like to talk to her, if she’s willing to hear anything I’m needing to say.”
“I’m not leaving her side.” I sit back down, shifting my chair closer to her.
“I’m not asking you to, Marek.” He takes a small step, not to frighten Palmer.
It doesn’t work. She looks moments away from screaming for help.
“It’s up to you.” I cut my glance to her. “You don’t have to do this right now. Not yet. Not ever.”
“What’s stopping me from calling the cops? Telling them everything?” She hisses through clenched teeth, leaning around me, staring into the eyes of her attacker.
“You can call the cops. You can turn us all in.” I hand her the phone. “That’s your choice, but deep down, I don’t think you want to.”
“And why the fuck wouldn’t I? He almost killed me.” She waves the phone between Byron and me.
“Because whatever haunted Reed is still out there, and you know it’s not us. We did what we had to do. No excuses. Not bargaining with you, Palmer. It’s just how we work. Your sister understood that. We were wrong. You aren’t much different than her,” I explain.
Palmer adjusts the bed until she’s more upright, everything about her set like stone. She glares at Byron as if I’ve given her permission to stand her ground. He’s smart enough to glance away, uncomfortable to be under her watch. He should be. He’s gone too far this time. Nothing he says can make this better or lessen the ache his actions have left behind.
“You’re a monster,” Palmer says. “Everything about you is laced with hatred, and nothing you say can make that better. Don’t use the love you felt for my sister as an excuse for what you did to me. As far as I’m concerned, you died on top of that roof.”
Byron’s head slowly nods as he listens and takes in her words. For the first time in our four-year friendship, our unbreakable bond is severed. We both know it.
“I’m sorry,” Byron says, staring at his feet, too ashamed to face Palmer. “To both of you, I’m sorry.” He leaves the room.
Hard, chest aching sobs break from Palmer’s body once we are alone. With my hand on her back, I try my hardest to comfort her, to prove I’m not a monster.
But I am a monster. I did horrible things, and at times, I enjoyed it. What kind of piece of shit gets a thrill from scaring a girl he cares about?
I stand from the chair I’ve taken over for the foreseeable future. I hover over her, and she flinches. Afraid I’ve lost her, I crouch down to mattress level.
“Why? Why her?” A guttural cry shakes her words. “Why’d they have to take her?”
She jumps when I place my hand on her chest, trying to calm her. Eventually, she settles. Her heart beats like a drum, telling a story of a broken girl who simply needs the basic thing she was given when she was born. Her sister. A connection to the world that is unconditional and unwavering. A sister’s love. This I understand too well.
“I know, baby. I know,” I whisper. My chest splits open at her breakdown. Even the strong are weak for those they love. That’s something I’m coming to learn.
She’s a broken girl, willing to let a broken boy try to fix the unfixable.
She rolls over and tucks herself into a ball, giving me no choice but to drop my hand. She’s taken as much as she could handle, allowing me to be that something unwavering, if only for a few minutes.
Unsure what to do, I linger where I am, watching her eyelids flutter as she lies helpless in the hospital bed.
“You were playing a part. All of those things you said and did, it was to reach the end game?” She unfolds, needing to know more, to understand how we got to this point.
“All my cruelty was me. Watching you melt into my body when I said and did those things only made me want to amp it up more.”