My hand shifted on her back, my hope emerging that this was it. That it’d been that simple.
And then she spoke two words that shattered my hope like exactly what it was—an illusion.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered into my shirt, into the space just above my heart.
The world shrank to that room, to the trembling woman in my arms, to the screeching of my mind, the thundering of my heart.
“What?” I breathed.
“I’m pregnant.” The admission was miserable, broken and frayed. “I’m pregnant with your baby.”
My constricted heart blew open like shrapnel, shredding everything in its path.
“Tell me everything,” I said.
And silently, I listened as she decimated my world once more.
19
Fool
TESS
Laughter rang through the shop in the early morning light, the tired sound of relief and victory from the Bennet brood.
The whole family was in the shop eating donuts from Blanche’s, sipping coffee and trying to keep our eyes open. Luke smiled at me from across the room, filling my heart with fluttering whispers.
He’d come back to the shop quiet and withdrawn, heading straight into storage to start on the frames for the wheat fields. Down I went to check on him once, finding him sullen. A hug softened him, a kiss earned me a smile, small though it was. It’d been a long day, he noted, said he’d tell me about it after the editor. But when he said it, his eyes were touched with pain, regret. Fear.
I tried not to let that fear get on me—we had too much to do. And I trusted him. There was no reason not to. He’d tell me everything when this was behind us, and that was enough for me.
So I threw myself back into work.
It had taken us nearly all night to get it done, the lot of us breaking to shower and change.
Luke had brought boxes of donuts and a cardboard crate of coffee from Blanche’s like the savior he was. And we were just nibbling, waiting on the editor to arrive with her photographer.
Luke made his way over to where I sat on the register counter, smiling that smile of his. But his eyes were tired, exhausted beyond the lack of sleep. Whatever was troubling him had mellowed enough from last night that he was almost acting himself.
Almost.
From my perch, I was a little taller than him, and when he looked up at me, all I wanted to do was hold his jaw and kiss him. My hands and lips tingled with the desire to, but I stayed still other than the raising of my paper coffee cup.
“We did it.” I beamed.
He tapped his lid to mine. “It’s beautiful, Tess. Just when I think you can’t outdo yourself, you do.”
“Funny, I think that every day about you. We’re just full of surprises, aren’t we?”
His smile faltered, his blue eyes darkening. Something about the motion—the parting of his lips, the draw of his brows, the creases of his face—sent a shock through me. I braced myself for impact.
Before he could speak, the bell over the door rang.
I looked up with a rush of excitement and a bright smile, expecting Natalie. But I found Wendy instead.
She looked like a different woman than the one who had come in here a few weeks ago, fresh and effortless, like she’d stepped out of an ad of a magazine. This Wendy was almost unrecognizable. Her blonde hair was dirty at the roots, dark and tangled up in a bun that looked like it had been slept on. The puff of her lids, the dark circles beneath, made her eyes look sunken and small, but they were bright, feverish, sharp with worry. Somehow, she managed to make a rumpled, oversized white T-shirt and leggings look stylish, but everything about her was frenetic, buzzing, humming, static electricity clinging to her, carrying her.
The shop went silent.
“Luke,” she croaked, tears streaming down her face at the sight of him. Her lips were dry. Pale.
My heartbeat doubled.
“Wendy, you can’t be here right now,” he said as he flew across the room toward her, the words both hard and comforting.
“We need to talk about this,” she begged, her face wrenched. “We have to figure this out.”
He snagged her by the arm and tried to steer her out. “I told you, we will. But the magazine will be here any minute, and I—”
“Figure what out?” Mrs. Bennet asked in a tone that stopped him dead.
Wendy laid a hand on her stomach, watery smile on her face as she said, “I’m pregnant.”
The room was silent again for a protracted moment before every voice in the room exploded.
Every voice but mine.
I folded in on myself, unable to parse what I’d heard. Wendy, hand on her belly and eyes adoring as she gazed up at Luke. My Luke, his eyes locked on mine, the heartbreak and apology on his face unmasked and raw.
Pregnant. She was pregnant. And judging by the look on his face, that baby was his.
Mrs. Bennet had started to cry, her voice high as she fired questions at him like a machine gun. Mr. Bennet had a hold of her arm, lips at her ear. Laney looked like she was about to claw Wendy’s eyes out, but Jett stood in front of her as she yelled around his wide shoulders. Marcus’s face was drawn, and though his lips were moving, he couldn’t be heard over the din. Kash had stepped toward them, but he wasn’t yelling at Wendy. He was yelling what seemed to be a string of obscenities at Luke.
Ivy stood at my side, repeating, “Oh my God,” on a loop, hands on her face and eyes big as ping-pong balls.
And I was somewhere separate, somewhere other.
A baby. Luke was having a baby with Wendy. She wouldn’t go away, wouldn’t disappear. He’d never escape her. She’d be a constant presence in his life.
In mine.
“Excuse me!” we heard over the din, and the room fell silent once more.
Natalie glanced around, her face hard from the doorway. Everyone held their breath.
“Is now a bad time?” she asked pointedly.
God bless Ivy Parker, who snapped into action. “No, of course not! Please, come in. Give us just a minute. We have donuts and coffee!” She hurried to Natalie’s side to divert her.
Natalie cast a dubious look around the establishment as Luke quietly excused himself and steered Wendy out of the building. I didn’t hear anything anyone around me said. Instead, I watched them talk outside the window. Luke’s face drawn and haggard, his hands on her shoulders as he tried to talk her down. Wendy looked down, nodding, her chest occasionally hitching with a sob and hands taking turns swiping at her cheeks.
But what broke me completely was when he pulled her into his arms, holding her head to his chest. His eyes closed, tight with pain, his head bowed as if in prayer. And Wendy curled into him like she belonged there.
I didn’t realize I was crying, not until Laney touched my leg. Her brows were together, her face tight with concern.
I sniffled, brushing the cool trails of tears from my face.
“He doesn’t love her,” Laney said.
“I know.” And I did.
“I’m not even sure I believe her, Tess. But Luke will figure it out. And if it is true, we’ll get through it. He’ll make it right.”
“I know,” I said again. Because he would.
I just didn’t know how I fit into that picture. I imagined him shepherding her through her pregnancy, attending all the doctor’s visits. The bond they shared would deepen. Would it rekindle their affection? Would they fall in love again?