“Come on, we have some things to talk about, babe.”
I talk one last glance at the mental hospital and grimace. Over my dead body will I ever step foot in that place again. Willingly or not.
After a long drive and a flight back to New York, I’m sitting uncomfortably on Kat’s couch, itching for answers. With my bad leg propped on the coffee table before me, I glance at my friends. Vera is next to me, sitting cross-legged, while Kat rests on her cute little furry chaise that’s across from us, her glamorous coffee table resting between us.
“So?” I prompt, darting my gaze between them. “What happened? How did you guys find me?” They’ve kept me in suspense, refusing to talk about anything until after we got settled back home.
“We read your email.” Kat pauses, and my stomach drops as I wait for her to go on. “And even though it was a shock at first, it wasn’t far off. We were upset, but after a day or two, we knew we had to do something. We couldn’t get ahold of you. Your phone was dead, and the resort wouldn’t give us any information, so we started to worry. I sent the piece to my dad and had him pull some strings.”
I clasp my sweaty palms together, twiddling my thumbs nervously. “What does that mean? Did he help you find me?”
They share a look with each other, having a silent conversation I’m not aware of. Vera shoots me a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Yes. If it weren’t for Kat’s dad, we would’ve thought you were dead or fled the country after news of the accident broke. They didn’t give names, but after what we read, we had a feeling.”
“I had my dad pull some strings. He’s going to run your story on all the major news channels and every paper in the fucking country. Everyone is going to know your story, babe. Both of yours.”
I start getting choked up as I stare at my friends. I don’t know why I ever thought keeping my past a secret was a good idea. They’re here for me, actually here for me, despite what they know, despite everything I did. Emotion has a lump forming in my throat, and my eyes start to water.
“I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you guys have done all this for me.”
Vera curls her arm around my shoulders, squeezing ever so gently, silently telling me she’s got me. It feels good, after going so long without so much as someone to talk to in that place. The sensation of warm arms enveloping me has warmth curling in my chest. I’ve missed this, feeling like I have people who are on my side. That the whole world isn’t against me, and even if it is, at least I have these two I can count on.
“Let me make you some tea. I’ll be right back.” Vera slides off the couch, heading into Kat’s kitchen, her silk robe swaying with the sashay of her hips.
Kat regards me from her perch on the fuzzy chair, not saying anything, but the way she’s rubbing her lips together, like she’s trying to actively remain silent, is a dead giveaway. “What is it?”
She sighs. “I’m not going to lie. Part of me is still upset. With you, with me, and how I handled things.”
My brows dip. “You have nothing to be upset with yourself about, Kat. I should’ve told you the truth from the start. I don’t know why I didn’t. I just wanted to be this different person. I didn’t want to be Mackenzie Wright from Ferndale. I wanted to be Mackenzie Wright, the socialite. The happy-go-lucky woman with no baggage.”
“Honey, that’s just the thing. I always knew you weren’t who you said you were. I know my own type well. We’re mean, rotten to our cores. We’re spoiled brats and that has never been you, Mackenzie. That day in the bathroom, I knew you weren’t a guest at that party when we first met. I befriended you because if the roles were reversed, and I happened to be living the life you were, I hoped there would be at least one decent person in the world who would be there for me and lend a helping hand.”
My back straightens. “So, all those times you helped out financially and I said it was—”
“I gave you that money because I love you, Mackenzie. You didn’t need to hide who you were from me. I would’ve helped you regardless. But with everything that is happening, I just want to make sure that publishing that story is what you want. It’s going to destroy lives. All of their lives.”
The way she says it has my heart squeezing as I think of Baz. Some strange part of me still doesn’t want to hurt him, while another part of me wants nothing more. I think about the day he came to visit me at the institution, and I trap the inside of my cheek between my teeth and bite down hard, trying to erase the memory from my mind. Trying to wipe his existence from my brain and body.
I wish I could forget him.
I want to forget him.
But I can’t.
The only thing I can do is get him back for all the pain he’s caused me. That’s probably what he’s banking on, me caring about him so much that I would never do anything to hurt him, but he’s wrong. People change, and being held in that place for three, almost four months? I’ve changed, too.
I sniff, wiping at my nose, trying to get rid of the pressure there. “This is what I want. This what they deserve. Each and every one of them.”
She purses her lips like she wants to say more, tell me something she knows that I don’t, but Vera comes back into the room with tea and hands me a scalding mug.
“I’ve hired a lawyer for you because, even though this all is fact, they’re going to paint you as a criminal, and right now, in a court of law, you have everything stacked against you. Kat and her family’s team are on it. My family’s team is on it. You’re going to be untouchable, babe. I promise you.”
That news is the final piece that does me in. It prompts the dam to break, and I start crying. Right there with a scalding mug of tea in my hands, I break down, and for the first time since I woke up from the accident, I have someone there to hold me and put me back together.
I have two people, actually.
It’s official. Kat and Vera have set everything in motion. It’s only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan. And even though I’ve been waiting for this moment, it doesn’t feel as great as I thought it would. I’m not as happy or as relieved as I imagined I’d be. Instead, my stomach is tied in knots, a feeling of dread sinking in my gut.
Shaking it off, I tighten the coat around my shoulders. The brisk New York air whips my hair across my face, abrading my skin. I’m on my way to a meeting with Kat’s family lawyer at her father’s building on 5th Avenue, and even though they have a car service and drivers, I opted to walk instead. I’ve missed the air here. The crowded streets. The fast-paced life that’s worlds different from where I grew up.
Yesterday was the first time I’ve been cast free since all this mess began, and I want to soak it in for as long as possible. Walking on a freshly healed leg and hip may not be the brightest idea, but I’m craving the feeling of concrete beneath the soles of my shoes.
Although it feels good to be out here, a part of me still misses Los Angeles. I miss the lights, the hills, the trees, but most of all, I miss Baz. I’m like a broken record, and I know that. But after today, I don’t know what will happen to them, and just the mere idea of never speaking to Baz again rips my heart in half.