He cocks his head. “Not much.” I blink as I feel a hint of chaos from him.
“I can sense something is wrong,” I say firmly.
His eyes dart to mine, his irises a mercurial dove gray that has pastel colors swirling behind that seem to show in different lights if you look closely. Like a rainbow peeking through clouds. Though his suppressors work well, they don’t quite hide everything he is.
“I have had a difficult time adjusting to the human world,” he says. “You know that.”
“Yes,” I say.
“You have also struggled with chaos ever since we met that chaos prince with Chad and Isabella.”
I nod. “But it wasn’t so much chaos as I realized that this place is a different battlefield with very different rules. I suppose I let my guard down, coming here. That night, I realized we can never afford to stand down.”
Ian chews his lower lip, looking oddly boyish. “For me, it’s more that I see casual human cruelty everywhere. On the TV. On the internet. In my games. Everyone is so obsessed with violence.”
“How so?”
He lets out a sigh. “Most of the shows involve killing. When I open a popular game, it wants me to shoot someone in the head. Or punch them. Or rip them to shreds. Even children’s games, though not as violent, often revolve around such things.”
“The world revolves around standing up for ourselves,” I say quietly. “Your kingdom is quite isolated from violence.”
Ian sits up, looking slightly offended. “We deal with the worst things there are.”
“Right, but you see them as an outlier.” I remind him. “For me, chaos is a never-ending thing, day by day, always attacking the kingdom of darkness.”
“Sounds exhausting,” Ian says.
The light fae are the last bastion if a chaos prince evades the defenses of another kingdom.
And they’re the ones who can end basically anything without even breaking a sweat.
I truly never want to meet the thing that can take down Ian.
“It is, but it’s worth it,” I say. “Your heart will harden and adjust to violence. Though, it might be better if it doesn’t.” I grab a book off my shelf that I’ve been reading. “Here, this won’t have pop-up windows.”
He grabs it and starts to flip through it doubtfully. “But this is about war.”
I sigh. “Yes, but it’s not violent. Ian, as long as there are violent people in this world, other violent people will have to counter them.”
He takes the book but slides me a glance that I don’t entirely like. “Then maybe there shouldn’t be any violent people. Anywhere.”
“Ian…” I warn, because light fae are known to get a bit power hungry.
“I know, I know,” he says. “I won’t do anything rash.” He holds up the book. “I will read this. And I’ll try not to be as bothered by the violence.”
I raise my eyes to his. “Be bothered. But be patient. It’s always darkest before the dawn.”
He breaks into a grin then, and it’s like light beams streaming through a clearing. “You would know as commander of darkness, right?”
I nod, chuckling. “I suppose. I’ll make sure and check in with you, Ian. See that you’re doing all right.”
He sighs. “You have enough to bother with. But yes, it’s always nice when we talk.” He glances at the lump in my covers where I stashed my message. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what was bothering you when I came in?”
I shake my head vigorously. Ian doesn’t need to be any more stressed out, either. “It will be fine.” I stand and pull him into a hug, enjoying our bond before slapping him firmly on the back, and he does the same to me.
Of course, my soul bond is most important, but other bonds mean a lot to me too.
Ian is someone I would carry off the battlefield, even at the cost of my own breath.
And I know he would do the same for me.
“Let’s go see why Flynn got all red and stomped off to his room,” Ian says, looking mischievous.
I sigh. “All right.” Perhaps letting him tease the fire fae a little is just what he needs to cheer him up. “But you know, given how much I’m going to be gone, you might want to try bonding more with Flynn. He’s a good fae.”
Ian nods. “I know. That’s why I like messing with him.”
I laugh and follow him out of the room, glad I have an excuse to think of something other than my home or how I’m going to win over Eva in time.
8
Eva
I’m trying to go about my life as normal. I’m trying not to think about our incredible chemistry.
But it’s hard when Tanner keeps sitting in on meetings and doing an actual CEO’s job of being involved, learning about the running of the company.
He asks surprisingly insightful questions, always defers to those more experienced, and treats women and men with the exact same deference.
Every time there’s a lull in the meeting, he looks up at me with those starry night sky eyes, and his cut jaw goes all hard, his expression suddenly intense…
For the first time, I’m finding it hard to focus at work.
I’ve spent most of my career complaining about people being unprofessional, and here I am imagining spreading myself on the table for the interim CEO.
The meeting I was in just finished, and while I make some changes to a benefits proposal I’ve been working on for a few years, everyone seems to have left the room but me and the evil, sexy interim CEO that I can’t seem to shake off.
Tanner leans back in his chair, messing with something at his wrist as he grins over at me.
A wave of heat moves through me. I already feel a low-level sexual ache at all times whenever he’s around, as though he’s casting a shadow of pure lust.
It abates almost suddenly, and he’s eyeing me calmly, still messing with those bands on his wrist.
I’m beginning to get a bit suspicious about this man.
About how he shows up whenever I need him. About the incredible effect he has on me. About the way I seem to be the only one to capture his attention.
And about how I seem to relate to him and, deep down, wonder slightly if he doesn’t have some connection to those ways I have always been different.
It’s just an instinct and I can’t explain it, but it’s like I’ve always lived in a separate, different world from everyone else, no matter how I try to relate to them. When I’m around Tanner, it feels like someone is in that world with me.
And I don’t know what to do.
“I have to admit I’m getting impatient, though it is fun playing CEO with you.” He cocks his head, and a dark lock falls to one side of his forehead rakishly. “When are we going to talk about this?”
“Talk about what?” I stutter, because if I acknowledge this thing out loud, everything is going to change, and I’m not ready for that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“This thing between us.” He gestures with his hand. “You’ve never felt this way, even close to this way, before, admit it.”
I swallow awkwardly. “How would you know?”