Meanwhile, I pick up a loaded nacho, voracious after the day I’ve had. It’s delicious, but not distracting enough from the fact that Tanner is popping cookies in his perfect mouth.
I want to be that cookie.
Stop it, Eva.
We both eat for a minute, just enjoying the relative quiet of the restaurant. Just being around him is so easy. So… natural somehow.
“You were saying?” He pushes aside his half-eaten sandwich, clearly having prioritized the cookies. “About your past?”
I frown. “My family?”
“Yes.” He sits back in the booth. “I’m asking not as your co-worker, but just as someone who wants to get to know you. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to, but I have to say I find everything about you fascinating.”
I blink at him, trying to compose myself because no one has ever shown this much interest in me. I never thought I would like it, but with him, I kind of do. “I was an only child, which has its ups and downs, you know?”
“I have younger brothers, so no, I don’t. But I can imagine it was lonely. Were your parents around?”
“Brothers?” My eyes widen. “Like you?”
He laughs. “Yes, but we aren’t talking about me right now. Don’t change the subject.”
I send him a glare that lets him know we’ll be back on this topic later. “The answer is no, my parents weren’t really around, but that was a good thing.” I swallow, pushing painful memories back. “They were workaholics, always at their jobs, leaving me to take care of myself. When they were home, it was worse. Always fighting. Screaming. Throwing things. Yelling.”
Tanner’s eyes darken, his lips pulling into a frown. “I’m sorry, Eva.”
“It’s fine.” I wave a hand. “It got worse when I was a teenager and they divorced. They tried to use me against each other, forced me to move back and forth between two cities, so I could never have friends… Everything was just so chaotic and painful. I was glad when I could leave home. When I found a company with rules where I could contribute and no one was screaming.”
Tanner nods. “I can understand the appeal after growing up like that.”
“We all have to work for a living, right?” I shake my head. “Besides, there are much worse childhoods out there. I think I turned out fine.”
Tanner shrugs. “Everything we do filters through the lens of our experience. Just because there are more horrible things that happen to others that we can’t comprehend, it doesn’t make our experiences meaningless. And yes, you turned out better than fine, but I’m still sorry you had to go through that. Everyone deserves a loving family.”
His gaze is thoughtful, warm, even in spite of the slight stress lines I can see at the corners of his eyes.
“That’s… a very unique thing to say. Thank you,” I say, fidgeting.
“You’re welcome.”
I’m still stressed just from remembering, and I feel Tanner’s warm hand cover mine. It’s soothing and nonthreatening, and I find myself wondering once again just who this marvelous man is.
“For what it’s worth, I admire you for making something out of your life after all of that chaos. I can see how strong of a person you’ve become in spite of it.”
And somehow, I don’t feel so stressed about it all, even remembering it. Like I needed to get it off my chest, and Tanner’s gentle touch is bringing me back to the present, making me feel lighter, better, accepted.
Maybe this is another one of those mysterious things I don’t understand yet.
Or maybe, just maybe, I’m falling for this man.
He leaves his hand there for a moment longer, and I can feel something warm building between us.
Tanner pulls his hand away, and if I could just be more honest, I’d ask to have it back.
But just the moment we had was enough for now.
“So what about you, Mr. Interim CEO?” I change the subject, trying to distract myself from the fact that I can still feel his hand on top of mine. “Tell me about your past now.”
He bites his lower lip, looking a bit nervous, which is rare for him. “Not a lot. Let’s just say I was expected to take on a leadership role in my father’s company from a very young age. I trained for that purpose throughout my childhood.”
I frown, wrinkling my nose. “That doesn’t sound like much of a childhood.”
“There were high expectations,” he says, spinning his glass gently with one finger. “And stress at times, sure, but there was love all around, from every direction.”
“That sounds nice,” I say, leaning in with my chin in my palms. “So your parents stayed together?”
His gaze dips. “Yes. Until my father died.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, unsure if I should reach out to him. Right now, he doesn’t look like he wants to go too deep into the subject.
“It was a long time ago. But yes, they stayed together as long as they could. I’ve never seen two people as in love as they were. And I believe they will be together again someday.”
“I like to think so too,” I say. “And I’m glad to hear at least one person’s parents were in love.”
“They would have died for each other,” Tanner says. “Fought for each other to the end. They loved each other so deeply it touched everyone around them, including their children.” His eyes meet mine. “Someday, I want to have a relationship like that.”
I flush, staring down at my nachos. “I’m sure you could.”
“Can I get you another plate of our fresh cookies?” the waitress suddenly interjects, casually putting her hand on Tanner’s shoulder.
Tanner looks over at the hand in offense (and maybe even a little disgust), but she doesn’t even notice because she’s practically drooling as her gaze roves up and down his body.
“No. Remove your hand,” he says in what sounds like a command.
She immediately pulls back, looking abashed. Almost like she hadn’t even realized what she was doing.
She goes to get the check, and I’m just sitting here wondering why my chest felt so tight when she touched him.
He’s not mine yet. He may never be. So why am I so jealous?
The waitress brings the check back to the table and disappears, and Tanner turns back to me, calm as ever.
“I suppose we should head back to the office,” he says, looking disappointed by the thought.
“I suppose,” I say, reaching for the check, though he stops me and pays before I can.
As I watch him, I realize that everything about him is just different than everyone else I’m used to.
He’s polite. He’s kind. He listens. He takes charge, but not when I’m the one who needs to be leading.
And he sometimes mentions cryptic comments about things I don’t know that he does…
“Tanner?” I ask, not sure how to broach the subject, but nervously anxious to see what he says.
“Yes?”
“About what you said before. Back at the office. About how I’m special. About how you’re the same way.”
“Yes?” His eyes glitter with interest, and I’m both excited and scared by the endless possibilities awaiting me there.