He strides up to me, taking me gently by the shoulders. “Eva, I don’t think I’m God over you. And I wasn’t trying to break a promise or betray your trust.”
I push away from him. “But you did! And you didn’t even think about it, did you? You decided what you were going to do, and you just did it.”
He exhales slowly, then nods.
“How am I supposed to go to your world with you? Trust you with my heart when you don’t think I’m worth consulting?”
“It was an odd situation,” he says. “One I’m not used to dealing with, and—”
“That’s why you should have let me help.” I shake my head. “This is my world. Or does my world not matter since you assume we’ll go to your world, anyway?”
His silence is damning. “You’re a fae princess, Eva. You don’t belong here.”
“This is my world!” I yell. “I don’t know how else to get you to understand this.” Tears fill my eyes as I think about the mess upstairs. I’m not saying Bill didn’t deserve that, but I’m already dealing with so much.
Learning I’m a fairy.
Trying to trust a new relationship.
And Tanner just exploded that trust.
“I can’t think right now,” I say, pacing as the fog of the past swirls painfully in my mind, bringing up more awful memories. “I didn’t want to fight with you, Tanner. I thought you were the best thing to happen in my life.”
His expression hardens. “And that changes just because I did what I had to do?”
“That’s the problem,” I say, exasperated beyond all reason now. “That’s all you see. What you have to do. What Tanner thinks has to be done.” I sigh. “How am I supposed to go to another world with you? What promises will you break there?”
He just stares at me because, apparently, he has no defense.
And anyway, I hate that I feel like I’m attacking him.
“I’m not someone who could just sit at home while you fought for your kingdom. And I couldn’t bear not knowing if you would change directions or make decisions without me.” My heart feels like it’s breaking right now. “I want to be a team. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Eva, the last thing I want to do is fight. If you could just trust me—”
“How?” I ask. “You said you wouldn’t deal with Bill without me.”
“I saw in his mind,” he says. “You don’t understand.”
“Maybe I could have if you’d told me.”
He looks at the ground. “I’ve been stressed. There are things I haven’t told you. Things happening at home, in my kingdom.”
“What do you mean?”
He looks up at me balefully. “You’re right. I have always made one-sided decisions. As a commander, it was my duty to keep people safe. And now I’m not there, and my family is in danger. And I’m sorry because I’m trying to protect you, Eva. I’m trying to keep my promise to you as well, but when I saw in his mind—”
“There are no buts to keeping promises,” I say softly. “And if your family needs you so much, perhaps you should go back to your world and help them. I have fires to put out here.”
His shock is evident. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Your people need you,” I say softly. “And I need to fix things with Qualtechnics. And yes, think about this magic inside me and what I want to do about being a fae.” I fold my arms. “And I need to do that alone now I think.”
“We are soul bonds. We should be together.” His hands are in fists. “I promise I won’t act without you again. This was a unique situation, and—”
“Won’t there be another one?” I ask. “Won’t you always think that when it matters, you can do what you want, no matter how it affects me?”
“That’s not fair,” Tanner retorts. “You know it isn’t, Eva. You know I love you, that I wouldn’t hurt you. That I didn’t mean to—”
“I know,” I say. “I know that. You’re not a bad person, Tanner. And yes, my heart calls out to you more than anyone I’ve ever met. But that means it’s also easiest for you to hurt me, and right now, I feel hurt very bad.”
“Because of your parents?” He pins me with a glare because I’ve told him all about them. “Because you think if we fight, even once, we’ll be like them?”
I shake my head. “No. I know you aren’t like either of them. But I also know that both of us are very independent. I’m not sure I can see either of us giving up what we want for the other.”
He stares at me, and I see the truth of what I’ve said hit him like it has me.
Shockwaves seem to reverberate through me, making my heart ache. But as much as I love this man, love to look at him, love to be with him, and admire and appreciate him…
I don’t see how this is going to work out. We’re too different in what we want.
“Tanner, you said I’m an ice fae. I’m powerful.”
“Yes,” he says flatly. “And?”
“I can protect myself while you go take care of things at home.”
He narrows his eyes. “So you’re rejecting me?”
I bite my lower lip. “I’m taking space for myself to figure things out.”
“But you’re my soul bond—”
“Incredible chemistry doesn’t make a relationship work, Tanner,” I say softly. “It also takes two people being willing to set aside what they want and consider another person.”
“I was considering you,” he says. “I was protecting you.”
“Then why didn’t you keep your word?” I look up at the building. “Why didn’t you protect Qualtechnics?”
“This place is garbage!” Tanner says, finally telling me what I knew all along.
“Right. Just like the human world,” I say. “And my priorities.”
“No!” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not saying this right. But yes, this company is garbage because of how it treats you and because of who owns it, and—”
“And I have people I care about here,” I say sharply.
“They are going to lay you off in a month,” he says. “Over nothing.”
I turn back to toward the building. “That gives me a month to try and make things better for the other employees, then, I guess.” I shrug my shoulder. “Anyway, don’t worry about it, Tanner. I’ll handle it.”
“Fine,” he says, calling after me. “If you really want to throw everything away and not listen to me and just go back to a place that will always devalue you, I can’t stop you.”
“You’re right. You can’t,” I say. “Because I may love you, but this is my life.”
“Eva, I swear nothing like this will ever happen again if you just—”
“I need to go work things out. Thanks to you, right now everyone is scared.”
“Fine,” Tanner says. “But if you just let me help—”
I glare at him over my shoulder. “You’ve done enough.”