“Worse.”
The waitress swung by with coffees, and we chose our dinner without menus, having memorized it years ago.
Dad picked up his coffee. “So your mother is losing her mind.”
“Yes. Yes, she is.” I tore open a sugar packet and dumped it into my coffee. “Did something happen last night?”
“She grilled me about who you’re seeing, and we ended up in a fight that shredded my vocal cords.”
My brow furrowed. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry for that. I’ve got your back, kiddo.”
“It’s all so pointless. Nothing short of complete submission will make her stop, so why fight? You should just go. I’m right behind you.”
His head cocked with a silent question, but I didn’t stop talking.
“I’m tired of answering her questions and submitting to her demands. Sure, she’s stayed out of my way to the best of her ability—which is sadly lacking—but she certainly isn’t happy about it. And God knows she can’t keep her mouth shut when she’s happy, never mind when I’m keeping something from her. And I’m just fed up.”
“You really did have a bad day.” He paused. “Does the quality of your day have to do with her disapproval of your nocturnal activities?” he asked with a dusty blond brow arched.
“What else? But it’s not just the fight, Dad.” I paused, searching for the words. “Every time we fight, every time there’s even the smallest confrontation, I … I don’t act myself. I become her.”
His levity melted into dissent. “Don’t ever say that, Maisie. You’re nothing like her.”
“Everyone tells me that, but I’m not so sure. I don’t recognize myself. I say things I’d never say.”
“Because she pushes you.”
“And I not only put up with it, but I engage. And isn’t that what she wants, aside from my compliance? She wants me to fight. She wants me to push back. And when I do, I can’t get the stink of it off me.” My eyes found a fleck in the formica tabletop and held it. “The only alternative is to leave. And I’m close. I am so close, I could quit right now. But … well, I need to hold out a little bit longer. I just need to get through—” I caught myself before spilling the truth, choosing my next words carefully. “There’s just one thing to resolve, and it’s almost over. Once that’s behind us, I’m through.”
He said nothing for a stretch. “You sound very sure of yourself.”
“If I stay, I can help save someone very important to me. If I leave now, I’m almost certain to ruin them.”
“Does this have anything to do with Marcus Bennet?”
My gaze snapped to his as I fumbled my mug. “Why would you say that?”
His smile tilted. “If I hadn’t figured out Marcus had the potential to be the mystery man the second you told me you kissed him, I’d have sorted it out just now. Honestly, the second I told you to stay away from him—I mean it, the moment those words left my mouth—I knew there was no stopping you. You’re trying to help the Bennets, aren’t you? With the lawsuit?”
“I am,” I breathed, split with equal parts relief and shock. “Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”
“I wanted to give you the space to tell me. Only said something now because I’m impatient.”
I chuckled at my coffee before raising my eyes. “You aren’t mad?”
“Mad? No. Your mother’s the one with that particular grudge, not me. And I trust you. I could never be angry with you for finding someone who makes you happy. He makes you happy, right?” His eyes narrowed in mock suspicion.
“Very. He makes me feel … equal. I feel equal to him and seen for who I am. And the only other person to make me feel that way is you.”
His eyes went soft. “It’s called respect, and I am very happy to know I won’t have to teach him any lessons on the subject. Maisie, if this is how you feel, then I have no arguments. I’m more worried about what your mother will do when she finds out. You know she’ll find out, don’t you?”
“I do. But if she finds out before this lawsuit is over, she will ruin the Bennets just to spite me. She’s a black hole, set to destroy all of us before seeing us happy. You’d think her therapist would have made some headway in the last twenty years.”
He snorted a laugh. “Psychiatrist, and his only use to her is his prescription pad.”
“Since I’m stuck there with her, I thought I could use the opportunity to collect information for the Bennets about the lawsuit. Help them head her off.”
“A spy, huh?” Dad asked with amused pride. “Look at you.”
But I didn’t smile, didn’t laugh, didn’t feel good about it. “Just another thing I’ve inherited from her. I like to think that it’s different because I’m using my deceit for good instead of evil.”
He opened his mouth to object, but I changed the subject.
“I’m ready to move out. I’m ready for you to divorce her.”
“Trust me, honey, I’m ready too. I’ve had the paperwork filled out for years—all I have to do is add the date and send it to my divorce lawyer.” He watched me for a moment, tracing my face with his gaze as if to note the years that had passed between us. “The first time I ever held you in my arms, I knew my fate and stepped into it. If I’d left, she would have taken you from me. I would not have won custody, and if I had, it would have been the most minimal contact that she could manage. And all that time, every minute I couldn’t be there, you’d have been alone with her. I couldn’t do it, Maisie. I just … there was no way I could give you up, and if I’d left your mother, I would have had to. So I stayed.”
I stilled, a lump of emotion clamped in my throat. “Daddy …”
But he smiled. “I don’t regret it. Raising you was the best thing I’ve ever done.” With a shrug, he continued, “After you graduated high school and left, I just couldn’t find a way to file for divorce, not without making your life harder. Anytime you chose me over her would have been a fight. Every Christmas, every birthday, every single moment you came to see me instead of her, she would have taken it out of your hide, not mine. Past that, we all knew you were going to have a role in Bower, and things between you two needed to be as smooth as possible in order for that to have a chance in hell. My leaving would have been another hurdle for you, and I couldn’t knowingly put that on you. Plus, who else would annoy her when you came home? The more I antagonize her, the less she bothers you. Not to mention that I like seeing her all frothy.”
“Me too,” I said on a giggle. “If you need another reason to walk away, do this for me, just like you stayed for me.”
Dad sat back, heaving a long sigh through his nose. “I think I’ve been waiting on you. Someday, you’re going to be steady. You’re going to find a track for your life and slip into it, a track your mother can’t bully you down. I want to see you start that life. I want to know you’re going to be okay. And you know what? I think you’re very nearly there.”