“You want to take our ten a little early?” Ethan asked her wearily, three hours later. He’d had a chip on his shoulder ever since she’d arrived to work, part of which she attributed to her absence, and part to the lack of cohesion between her and Evelyn. They simply weren’t in sync. He rubbed his forehead in a way that said his frustration with the scene was at a peak. They’d worked on the motivations leading up to the couple’s first kiss in act 1, but everything they tried seemed to fall flat.
Carly turned to Evelyn for her opinion on whether to take the break but was met with only a half-hearted shrug.
“Yeah, let’s do that,” Carly said to Ethan. She watched as Evelyn immediately fled the space they shared like she couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Evelyn had mentioned several times that she was straight, and maybe the female romance was harder for her. But based on the speech she’d made about the importance of such a play, it couldn’t have been the whole reason. Evelyn didn’t like her and had made it abundantly clear, which would be fine, if she would set it aside for the work. She hadn’t. Her contempt for Carly read in every moment they shared onstage together. The no-good morning had Carly in a mindset to look into it.
“You have a second?” she said quietly to Evelyn, who was engrossed in something on her phone.
Evelyn raised her gaze to Carly’s. “Sure. What do you need?”
“To talk.” She leaned against the wall next to Evelyn and geared up. Suddenly, she had a shot of nervous energy move through her, but this was too important a conversation to sidestep. If they could get past whatever conflict was between them as actresses, then maybe they could still turn this thing around. “I feel like we’re not connecting in the scenes.”
“You don’t, huh?” She glanced back down at her phone, making Carly feel about two inches tall. “Trust me. We’re doing fine. We still have two weeks left, and you’re just out of your element.”
Interesting response. “What’s my element, exactly?”
Evelyn gestured wildly with her phone in the open space before settling on a phrase. “Hollywood. La-la land. None of this is your speed, but it’s what I do for a living. I happen to have great respect for the process.”
“And you think I don’t?”
“No, I know for a fact you don’t. I think you’ve shown all of us that you’re a spoiled, pampered celebrity who cares more about herself than the larger good of the production.” She let her phone arm fall to her side as she straightened. “Go back to Hollywood, little girl. Let us handle the hard stuff.”
With that, Evelyn strolled back to the rehearsal set, leaving Carly clutching the wall and reeling. No, she wasn’t just clutching and reeling. She was also crying. Tears had pooled in Carly’s eyes, which mortified her no end. Only six-year-olds cried, and she would not let Evelyn see the effect of her words.
“And we’re back, everyone,” Lauren announced to the company. Carly stayed right where she was, still in the room, but removed from the action. “Carly, you all set?” Lauren asked in a quieter tone.
Carly didn’t move. She couldn’t, out of sheer humiliation. She wiped the tears that now stained her cheeks, but she wasn’t making much progress in shutting down the waterworks. This was awful.
She heard footsteps behind her and Lauren appeared. “I think we’re ready to get—What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just need a minute. Is that possible?” she whispered, doing windshield wiper hands. “Maybe I could go wash my face?”
Lauren nodded, squeezed her arm, and moved back to the larger group. “Can we maybe skip to the Mandy at work scene, act one, scene four?”
“Not a problem,” she heard Ethan reply quietly. “Is she…?”
“She’ll be fine,” Lauren said. “Just needs a minute. Allergies.” For the first time, Carly was overwhelmingly grateful for Lauren’s professionalism and owed her big-time for running cover. “Carly, why don’t you take fifteen, and then we’ll regroup.”
“I’ll be back in under ten,” she said, trying to keep her voice from cracking. This wasn’t like her, but the pressures, the insecurities, the fear that she was continually letting everyone down weighed on her like a two-ton brick upon her chest. This whole process was so much harder than she’d anticipated. She was a good actress, but this required a level of depth and commitment that had her on her heels.
She stared at her red-rimmed eyes in the bathroom mirror moments later, as she splashed some water onto her face. The cold helped zap her out of her paralysis and self-pity. She had to be honest with herself. She’d been horrible since she’d arrived, and it was no wonder veterans of the stage like Evelyn had taken offense. This was her crossroads moment, however, and it was Lauren’s voice she heard in her head. You have to make changes to your approach to life, to your work. The sentence repeated over and over, and each time she heard it, it resonated more powerfully.
She somehow made it through the remaining hours of rehearsal, even cradling Evelyn’s face in her hands and looking into her eyes as if she was the most precious person in the world. She’d survived. Ethan had given her a shoulder pat on his way out at the end of the day, which hopefully meant she’d been forgiven. Evelyn had breezed the hell out of the room, apparently standing by her earlier assertion. As for Carly, she lingered, taking her time changing her shoes, packing up her belongings.
After a few minutes, it was down to just her, Trip, and Lauren in the room.
“You got this?” Trip asked Lauren. “I promised Wilks I’d back up the house manager for tonight’s performance. He’s a fill-in tonight and not entirely sure of our procedures.”
“I got it,” Lauren said. “Go play house manager.” They then engaged in some kind of secret handshake that made her smile to herself.
Once they were alone, she dropped her bag and approached Lauren. “I can help.” She didn’t wait for an answer but instead went about assisting Lauren as she reset the rehearsal furniture for the scene they were scheduled to start with the next day.
“This is unexpected,” Lauren said, tossing her a glance. “I don’t generally have my lead actors schlepping the furniture. You okay? Feeling any better?” She said it with kindness, and it meant the world to Carly.
She felt the uncomfortable lump rise in her throat again. Something about Lauren checking in on her made her crumple, like when her mom used to pick her up from school after she’d had a bad day. She’d just blurt it all out in one giant release. Her safe place. “I’ve had better days.”
Lauren straightened, abandoning a chair midtransit. “Did Evelyn say something to you earlier? You can tell me, you know.” The soft green eyes made her believe it.
Carly exhaled slowly, and it all came gushing out. “Only that I was out of my league, spoiled. She called me a little girl and told me to go back to Hollywood.”
Lauren’s head dropped. When she raised it again, her features carried compassion. “I’m sorry she said those things to you.”
“But you agree with her. You said so earlier. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m doing here. I’m a joke.”