I looked up as the elevator began to descend. “I didn’t know if I should say anything, but Andros and Marion made it sound like Allister was responsible for the car crash that took my parents.”
Patrick’s body tensed.
“I don’t know,” I went on. “They said men like him don’t want bastard children running around. I was supposed to be in the car. They even hunted me, but I changed foster homes too much.”
The doors opened and we both stepped into the entryway to the apartments.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t put past Allister Sparrow. I’d say killing a child—his child—is low even for him, but I can’t. He also ran trafficking like McFadden. Together they provided the city of Chicago with any sick, perverted fantasy.”
My father?
“I can’t say that Allister wouldn’t do that.” Patrick reached for my shoulders. “I can say that Sparrow, Sterling, the man upstairs wouldn’t and hasn’t. It was the first thing he stopped when he took over from his father.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know that what they told me was true. I never knew if what Andros said was true or not.”
Patrick clasped my hand and led me toward the middle door. “You were quiet at dinner.”
“No. I was overwhelmed.” Thoughts of the dinner we’d just consumed were dominated not by the delicious food but the atmosphere. “I keep expecting the other men who heard my story to look at me, well, such as I am.”
He stopped and with one large finger turned my cheek toward him. “They are, Maddie. As you are is a strong survivor who is also my wife and Ruby’s mother.”
I shrugged. “And the women…the way they all interact. I’ve never…” A weary smile came to my lips. “I haven’t had a female friend…” I shrugged. “I can’t remember. I always tried to be nice to Andros’s staff, but that’s not the same thing.”
Before opening the door, Patrick asked, “Who was Cindy?”
My face snapped up to his. “Why would you ask that?”
“Ruby asked me if I knew a Cindy. You named Ruby’s middle name, Cynthia, after her. Ruby said she was your friend.”
“She was. May I tell you another time? I’m a little worn out by memories.” I lifted my arms around Patrick’s neck. Stretching on my tiptoes, I stared into his blue orbs. “For tonight, can we live in the present?”
His powerful arms snaked around my waist, fingers splayed upon my lower back, and making their way under the sweater, he pulled me closer against his hard chest. “Yes. Only the present.” His lips came to mine. The fire he’d rekindled at the hotel flickered. The ghosts of memories past evaporated like smoke as sparks ignited into flames, its heat smoldering beneath my skin. Warmth flooded my core as my nipples hardened.
I pulled back, looking up. I recalled his declaration on the plane days ago. “What you said about not making love to me, not until you had all of me?”
He ran his hand through my hair, momentarily fascinated with the dark strands. When his gaze returned, it swirled with emotions. “I want to make love to my wife. I want to spend tonight in the security of our tower and comfort of our bed, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that our daughter is safe. I want to take you to the brink of pleasure and watch as your body surrenders, imploding from within, time after time. I want to spend one night without thoughts of the past in either of our heads.
“I know you have more to tell. And when you’re ready, Maddie, I’m here. I’ll always be here. I vowed that seventeen years ago, and I pledge it tonight. You’ve shared enough for me to understand where those clouds originate. That said, don’t let them ever be brought on by worry about me. Nothing you revealed, nothing you shared or will share, can now or ever scare me away.
“I want you more right now than I did when we were on the plane, in the club, or the hotel. I have my wife back. I have a daughter. With you back in it, my life is more than I ever imagined.” He reached for my hand, kissing the palm, and laid it upon his wide chest. “My heart is beating in triple time because as much as I want to do all of that, I need to know you want it too, want me. Because while I can’t erase the past, I will never give you reason to relive it. If you’d rather talk, watch TV, or even sleep in one of the other bedrooms, it will fucking kill me—death by unsatisfied erection—but I will support you.”
Beneath my hand, his racing heart brought a smile to my lips. “I want you, Patrick. I always have, as my friend, my lover, and my husband. I want everything you said and more.” A mischievous grin came to my lips. “And I could never live with myself if I lost you to such a curable ailment.”
After opening the door, Patrick again took my hand, intertwining our fingers, and led me through the doorway. The lights within were off, yet beyond the windows and far below, the lights of Chicago twinkled. Down the hallway we went and into the master bedroom. With a flip of the switch, the windows became mirrors to the night and the room flooded with warm light.
“Lights on or off?” he asked.
I scanned the man before me. He still wore his suit trousers and a white button-up shirt. In his more casual style, his sleeves were rolled to his elbows and his jacket and tie were gone. His chiseled jaw held just the right amount of beard growth, and his eyes shone such as a spring sky under his golden eyebrows and hair.
“On,” I said. “On, because if the clouds…” What he calls my memories. “…return, all I have to do is open my eyes and see the man who loves me when no one should.”
His lips curled upward as he came to me. “Lights on, because I can see the most astonishing woman in the world who deserves all the love I can provide. Lights on, so I can make love to you and watch your gorgeous green eyes.” He reached for the hem of the white sweater and lifted it over my head. The length of my hair flowed down my back. His fingertips skirted over my collarbone and shoulders, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “Lights on, so that I can see your flawless skin as I…” He kissed my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “…taste you.”
I reached behind and unclasped the bra as he tugged it from my shoulders. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I bent down to unzip the boots when Patrick knelt before me.
“Having you back is a gift I want to unwrap.”
Setting my hands behind me, I leaned back as he removed my boots, socks, and slacks. Latching his long fingers around the waist of my panties, I lifted my hips as he tugged them over my thighs and down to my ankles until they too were lost to the floor.
My cheeks rose, taking in his now-standing toned form. “Our state of dress is unfair.”
“I could fucking look at you for hours.” His head tilted as he leaned forward, brushing the tip of his finger over an old scar. “I didn’t see this at the hotel or on the plane.” His blue eyes met mine. “What happened?”
They were back, the clouds, building and billowing on the horizon.
No. I wouldn’t let them steal my joy.
“Living in the present,” I reminded him. Pushing the clouds and memories away, I stood and reached for the buttons of his shirt. “I want to look, too.”
Patrick didn’t push for an answer or protest as my fingers nimbly loosened one button and then another. I tugged his starched shirt over his shoulders, revealing his defined torso. Once his shirt was gone, I again laid my hand against his chest. “Your heart is still beating fast.”