“Hot Girl Bummer” blasts from the sound system, and there are people drinking, dancing, and making out in every corner. “You owe me for this,” I mutter under my breath, ignoring the curious eyes, and head straight for the stairs. Holden holds his own weight surprisingly well all the way up. When we get to the top, I cast a glance toward the black door that leads to Thayer’s room, the one right across from where I used to sleep, and it’s just my luck that even in his drunken state Holden catches it.
“He’s different now,” he says, out of nowhere.
“We all are.” I clear my throat. “Come on. Almost there.”
We amble down the hallway lined with old photos of the estate in various states dating back to the 1800s. It burned down in the early 1900s, but my favorite photos have always been the ones before the fire. This place has so much history, and it’s always fascinated me.
Holden’s feet somehow get tangled up with mine, knocking me off balance. We both go down, him taking the brunt of the fall, me landing on top of him. His arms come around my waist, holding me to him when I try to get up.
“Oh my God, get off of me,” I whine, trying to wiggle out of his hold.
“You’re warm and you smell pretty and I miss you.” I don’t know if it’s the alcohol talking, or if there’s any truth to it, but he sounds sincere, and it breaks my heart a little. Sometimes, I forget there’s a boy with feelings under all that bravado and sarcasm. We didn’t just lose Danny. We all lost each other. “We all do, even Thayer.”
I purse my lips. Even Thayer. Right. “Come on,” I say, patting his chest. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“What the fuck?” a voice booms from behind us. Holden’s chest shakes with laughter and I whip my head around to see Thayer standing there, a murderous expression on his face. I roll my eyes, pushing off Holden, and this time he lets me up.
Holden takes my outstretched hands, and I try to pull his heavy ass up.
“A little help would be nice,” I snap over my shoulder.
Thayer frowns, looking between the two of us before he prowls toward us and pulls Holden’s arm around his neck to hoist him up. “The fuck happened?”
“I don’t know. I found him like this.”
“Where?”
“Arrowhead Trail. I was driving home and he was just there. Like this,” I say, gesturing to his bloody state.
“Thayer?” a feminine voice calls out. My stomach drops when I see a beautiful, leggy brunette clad in only a bra and cut-off shorts standing in Thayer’s doorway. “What’s taking so long?” She cocks her head to the side, twirling her hair around her finger.
“You can handle it from here,” I say, quickly turning to leave. I know there have been other girls. I’m not dumb enough to think he hadn’t moved on. But knowing and seeing are two completely different things. I tuck my hair behind my ear, making my way down the steps as fast as I can without actually running away.
“Whoa, girl, where you going in such a hurry?” Aiden catches me by my shoulders when I hit the bottom step, pulling me in for a hug.
“Ew, what is she even doing here?” Taylor asks, holding out a cup that matches the shade of her lips in my direction as she saunters in from the other room. “You do realize you don’t live here anymore, right?”
“I was just leaving,” I tell Aiden, ignoring Taylor’s comment. She’s drunk and feels threatened by the fact that I just came from upstairs, so nothing I can say will piss her off more than what’s inevitably going through her head. Let her come to her own conclusions.
“Have a beer with me before you go.” Aiden’s gorgeous in that hot jock kind of way with his square jaw and thick, dark, tight curls. His honey eyes against tawny skin. Full lips.
Unfortunately for me, only broody assholes with lip rings seem to do it for me these days.
“My car’s running.” I hitch a thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll see you later?”
“Want me to walk you out?” he asks.
“She’s a big girl, Aiden,” Taylor snaps.
I glance back up to the top of the stairs to find Thayer looking down at me, leaning forward with his hands braced on the rail. I force myself to look away, needing to get out of here.
“I’ll see you Monday,” I mutter, turning for the door. I step around a kid smoking on the stairs, then jump into my car. I’m half-surprised no one fucked with it. I drive straight home, being as quiet as possible when I slip inside.
“Shayne, honey, is that you?” my mom calls from her room.
“It’s me,” I call back.
“Don’t forget to lock up.”
I breathe a sigh of relief that she doesn’t plan on carrying on a conversation. “Okay. Night!” I go straight for my bathroom, stripping off my clothes and tennis shoes before stepping into the shower. I close my eyes and stand under the stream of hot water, letting it wash over me.
What the hell was Holden involved in earlier? The fact that Thayer seemed to know about as much as I did doesn’t sit right. Thayer and Holden have always moved as a unit, always in sync. Was he doing something he didn’t want Thayer to find out about? Or just decided to fuck shit up on a whim? The latter seems more likely.
I reach for my body wash and squirt it onto a washcloth that has replaced my loofahs for the time being and bring it to my chest, careful to avoid my piercings. After Thayer played with them, they were sore for a couple days, but I was lucky that was all that happened. And God, was it worth it. I’ve never felt anything like it. I was on sensory overload, and I think at that point, a heavy breeze would’ve sent me over the edge.
I shake the thoughts out of my head. He’s probably fucking that girl six ways from Sunday while I’m in here reliving some heavy petting like an idiot. I throw the washcloth down and it lands on the tub floor with a wet smack, then I crank the knob none too gently, turning the water off. Stepping onto the cushy mat, I pluck the towel off the hook on the back of the door and wrap it around myself.
Standing in front of the foggy mirror, I swipe my hand across it, just enough to see my face in the reflection. How did everything get so messed up? And what the hell was Holden up to?
After brushing my teeth and throwing on last year’s oversized volleyball shirt, I shoot a quick text to Grey.
I miss you. Call me.
When ten minutes go by without a response, I know I won’t hear from him tonight, if at all. I crawl into bed in a room that still doesn’t feel like mine and dream of a boy who never really was.
Shayne
School drags on slow as ever, but I manage to make it through without incident. It’s the end of the day, and since we have a game tonight, we had to wear our warm-ups to school. Black track pants with the snaps down the side and our maroon and black uniform shirts, donning our new mascot. Opening my locker, I shove my backpack inside, taking only my calculus book and a pencil.
“Are you avoiding me, little sister?”
I close my locker to see Holden standing there with his arm propped against the locker next to mine, looking no worse for wear. You’d never guess that he looked like the living dead two nights ago.
“Let me guess. You had sex with the wrong guy’s daughter,” I deadpan, hitching my bag onto my shoulder before walking away. Holden falls into step with me.