His voice is hard, but his eyes betray him with a hint of emotion that confounds me. “First of all, my nieces are not spoiled. You know nothing about them. And second, I did fieldwork for my degree. So yes, I have a fair idea. And I know it won’t be easy, but it will be rewarding to help them. Children are superior to adults in so many ways. They have a greater aptitude for learning. They’re more open-minded, less cynical—”
“—more needy, tons of work, hard to handle,” he finishes my sentence flatly as though he’s talking about the weather. “They aren’t worth it.”
“Aren’t worth what?” I snap, hating his tone.
“They aren’t worth the risk.”
My face twists up in confusion. “What does that mean?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He scoffs and looks out the window, that square jaw of his outlined by the streetlights. “I’ll take adult patients over pediatric patients any day.”
“And deprive young, eager minds of your dazzling, sparkling, jovial personality?” I ask with an obnoxious bounce to my tone.
He cuts me a warning look, and his eyes linger on my lips when he replies, “Who says the word jovial when it isn’t in reference to Santa Claus?”
“A grad student with non-seasonal vocabulary skills,” I snap. “And someone who experiences emotions outside of dickholeitis.”
“I’d rather be a dick than naïve. That’s why I think people who want to have children should be subject to a psych evaluation. Stat.” His eyes light with a hint of humor. “Another reason for you to have a psych eval. Do you see the common denominator today?”
I jut out my chin. “Do you see how big your dick has gotten?”
Josh’s face instantly lightens. “What?”
My cheeks heat. “I mean…”
He tries and fails to hold back his laughter. “Have you been looking at my dick?”
“I’m not looking at your dick!” And, of course, my gaze goes right to his crotch, but I yank my attention to the front of the vehicle before he catches me.
“It seems like you’re looking at my dick,” he mumbles cockily.
“Would you get over yourself?” I cross my arms and focus on the window. “Good God, you are the worst! You could actually be hot if anyone could see past your horrible arrogance.”
Silence envelops the car, so I steal a glance at him. His full attention is now on me.
His brows lift when our eyes meet. “Did you say I’m hot?”
My lips thin. “I said you could be hot.”
He shakes his head smugly. “First, you notice my dick, and now you’re noticing my hotness. This is a strange way of flirting. Some might even call it creepy.”
“You want to talk about creepy flirting?” I cross my arms over my sprinkle tits, trying to ignore the fact that he’s totally checking me out. I stupidly, idiotically, moronically like it even though I’ve clearly decided to hate him for all eternity. “You’re the one who’s been watching me for weeks in the cafeteria. Sounds a lot like stalking.”
“Stalking?” He scoffs.
“Maybe I should’ve been the one to call security when you approached me today.” I lean into his space with a renewed defense that I can’t believe I didn’t come up with before. “I could’ve told them I had a creepy old man staring at me like a piece of meat from across the cafeteria for weeks, and I was concerned about my safety.”
His eyes narrow with wicked promise. “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart. It’s patronizing.”
He ignores my reply. “You’re a very testy person, you know that?”
“I’m only testy to people who are testy to me.”
“Oh, you haven’t even begun to see testy from me, sweetheart.”
“Stop calling me that! And oh, my God, are you kidding? You were testy to me at the cafeteria, and then again at the bar tonight. We’re perfect strangers, and you’ve been a moody, rude, controlling jackass! And then you change my drink order without my permission, so I’ll add chauvinist to the long list of your glowing attributes.”
By the time I finish, my chest heaves and I’m too aware of how this conversation has sobered me up. My buzz is gone. My hotness vibe from earlier is gone. Everything that could’ve been good today is now gone because of this guy.
Why is it taking so long to get home?
Josh shakes his head. “Of course, I must be a chauvinist to care about your well-being enough to get you a water. I didn’t realize hydration would offend you so deeply. What marginalized part of society do you belong in to be offended by H2O?”
“The kind who can decide when the hell she needs water for her own damn self!”
Josh rolls his eyes and closes the space between us. “Well, your winner of a boyfriend certainly wasn’t stepping in to help you. Is that really the kind of man who turns you on? He’s a grade A douchebag, and you could do better.”
My jaw drops just as the car pulls up to the address Josh put into the app. He opens the door to get out, and I follow because I refuse to let him have the last word. I slam the door behind me, rage simmering in my veins. “Dean is not a douchebag, and he’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend. And he’s a good friend. You don’t even know him! Why are you so judgmental of people you don’t even know?”
Josh steps into my space, his tall frame bowing over me as a halo shines behind him from the yellow streetlight. “He doesn’t look at you like just a friend.”
“He’s a flirt!” I exclaim, my eyes widening as I look up and realize Josh seems bothered by this. “Are you…jealous?” A flurry of excitement shoots through my veins at that notion.
“Don’t act like a child,” he growls, his eyes narrowing on me. “I just can’t help but notice that he let you get into an Uber with a perfect stranger.” Josh points in the direction of the Corolla that’s just pulled away. “If you were mine, I’d never let you out of my sight at night.”
His words are a sharp punch to my libido that’s been dormant for the past year. I press my hand against my thigh, startled over the strange reaction his words cause.
What is going on? Why am I turned on by a little word like mine?
I should hate his tone. I should hate him. He’s arrogant, he’s accused me of being mental, and now he made me lose my Uber. Feminists all over the world would weep over the involuntary response my body is having to his possessive words.
I shove away the arousal to the dark corners of my body. “I could never be yours.”
I bite my lip and hope he didn’t notice how my voice got all breathy at the end, but the wicked glimmer in his eyes indicates that he sees right through me.
That’s it, I’m a masochist! Kate is going to use me for inspiration in her next BDSM romance novel because her best friend apparently likes being insulted by hot assholes.
I should call another Uber right now. I should walk home just to get away from the intoxicating scent of this man who is bewitching all my good master’s degree in psychology sense.
Instead, I prop my hands on my hips. “I want it on the record that you’re the one who demanded to ride with me in the first place. And if you think I’m such a nut job, why did you want to share an Uber with me? It’s not like you can’t afford your own. And…you seem awfully concerned with my well-being for a guy who accused me of having Munchausen syndrome.”