“In the long run, I would hope not,” Andrew says, not seeming offended. “I like to think my people would hammer out a democracy that works for everyone. But in my experience, that isn’t always the case. Transitions of power can go awry pretty quickly. And even when they go well, there are growing pains.” He opens a heavy wooden door, holding it for me before leading the way down another hallway. I start to worry I’ll never find my way back to my room without a guide. This castle makes my home look like a dollhouse in comparison.
“I’d like to spare my people all that for at least one more generation,” Andrew continues. “I’m not a perfect specimen, by any means, but since childhood, I’ve been studying to be a fair and just ruler. I truly want to serve the people of my country, from richest to poorest and everyone in between. I’m sure I’ll piss off a few souls along the way, but I’m going to do my best to find compromises that will bring the most good to the most people.”
I nod, unable to find fault with his answer. “That’s all you can do. Approach the job from a place of service and stay committed to making compassionate choices.”
He glances my way with that inscrutable look again. “I agree.” He’s quiet for a moment, and when he speaks, his voice is stiffer than it was before. “Hopefully my son or daughter will feel up to the job when it’s their time to serve. But if not, at least I will have done all that I personally could for my country.”
His son or daughter…
His sudden formality makes me wonder… “So do you want children?” I ask. “Really want them? Or is it something you feel obligated to do in order to secure the line of succession?”
Lizzy has always wanted babies—lots of babies to cuddle and spoil and love with the kind of selfless devotion we never experienced as children. I honestly think she wants babies more than she wants a husband.
But I doubt she’d be thrilled about having babies with a man who doesn’t want to love them as much as she does.
“That’s a heavy question.” Andrew stops beside me on the carpet, a few feet short of a pair of gilded glass doors leading out to a section of the castle grounds I haven’t seen before.
I glimpse softly rolling hills and a vineyard with newly sprung leaves opening to the sun, and my heart lifts the way it does every time I’m about to step outside. Human beings obviously need shelter from the elements in order to survive, but my soul belongs to the earth and sky and all the magical things growing between them. I can’t imagine spending an entire day cooped up indoors like my sister. I would lose my mind.
And then Andrew says, “Before I answer, I have a heavy question for you,” and my heart sags back into my growling stomach, which isn’t shy about sharing its displeasure with my paltry breakfast.
I shift my gaze to his face, ignoring the way my pulse flutters as our eyes meet and lock. “What’s that?”
“What if I said I would give you fifty-thousand dollars. Right now. No strings attached?” he asks in a hushed voice, almost as if he’s afraid someone will overhear him. “What would you do?”
“What do you mean what would I do?” I ask, my heart racing faster.
If I were myself, I know exactly what I would do. I’d take the money and run—with assurances to pay Andrew back as soon as possible, of course, but there would be no question in my mind.
I don’t want to marry someone who feels obligated to marry me. I want to marry a man who can’t imagine his life without me.
Yes, I find Andrew attractive, but that isn’t enough to build a marriage on. And even if we discovered we were genuinely compatible, I’d never be able to trust that he wanted me for me.
And I want that. So much.
A lifetime of feeling invisible to my parents and taken for granted by my sisters—even Lizzy, though I know she doesn’t consciously decide to retreat and leave me to tackle family problems alone—has left me dying to be seen.
Truly seen and heard and known and appreciated for exactly who I am. I thought I’d found that with Thor, but he burst that bubble. Thor wanted me because I was a princess, albeit an impoverished one. I think he enjoyed my company and was attracted to me, too, but I realize now that being a princess was definitely a big part of the attraction for him.
I don’t want to be special to someone because of my title or my castle or my strange and notorious family. I want to feel special because of who I am on the inside, and that’s never going to happen with a man who’s agreed to marry me because his grandfather and my grandfather made a deal over drinks before we were even born.
But this isn’t about me, or what I would do.
This is about Lizzy, and I know the choice she would make.
Before Andrew can say another word, I add, “I’m here because I want to be here. It’s important to me to honor the promises my family made. But if you want me to leave…”
“No,” he says quickly. “It’s important for me to honor the promises my family made, too. It was especially important to my grandfather. He was really more like a father to me. He’s the kind of man I want to be, and he would never go back on his word.” His lips curve. “So I won’t either. Not ever. I just want you to know that I would understand if you wanted to call off the wedding, and that I wouldn’t send you away empty-handed. You’ve put your life on hold in a lot of ways to honor this promise, and you should be compensated for that. One way or another.”
I narrow my eyes, searching his gaze.
Is he saying that he wants Lizzy to call off the wedding? Or am I reading what I want to hear into his words?
I don’t know, and in the end, this still isn’t my call to make. I have to talk to Lizzy before I go off script.
So I simply nod, and say, “I appreciate your compassion.”
He presses his lips together, searching me as thoroughly as I searched him, while I do my best to keep my thoughts to myself. My thoughts don’t matter, even though I’m dying to pull Andrew into a private room where we can start plotting the liberation of both him and my sister.
I’ve always thought Lizzy deserved a love match, but I’m beginning to think Andrew does, too.
Finally, his gaze softens, and he says with a wistful sigh, “Yes, I do want them.”
“Want what?” I ask, blinking faster.
He reaches past me for the door, coming so close I can smell the minty toothpaste on his breath as he says, “Kids. After the hell my brothers and I put my mother through, I’m probably out of mind, but I do want children of my own.” He tips his head nearer to mine, adding in a husky voice, “Have to pass these camera-friendly genes on to the next generation, right?”
“That’s a vain reason to have children.”
“I’m terribly vain,” he whispers, his breath warm on my lips. “It’s one of my many, many less-than-perfect qualities.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say. And I don’t even though just this morning I would have agreed that Prince Andrew is an egomaniac who is way too fond of taking pictures of his own ass to be taken seriously.
But now…
Now I wonder if he and I might not be playing on the same team, after all.
“You should,” he murmurs.