I pride myself on staying firmly rooted in the here and now, but after living my entire life in this city, I can’t help but be drawn to forces I can’t see. Especially at times like this when restless energy and uncertainty have me all twisted up in knots.
There’s too much chaos in my brain, and I need to get back to being sharp and invincible. That’s the only way I know how to live. Anything else makes me feel weak and powerless, and that’s unacceptable.
“You always seem to know when I’ll be making a pass.”
She tsk-tsks at me. “Your energy is right strong. Easy to read. What happened?”
The stitches tug on my side with every step, and I consider for a moment whether I should tell her the whole truth. If there’s one thing for certain, it’s that Celeste didn’t have a damn thing to do with the man I sent to his death in an elevator car.
“I had a rough night.” The understatement of the century comes out clear and calm before I tell her what happened. Thankfully, there’s not a single waver in my voice.
To her credit, Celeste doesn’t react immediately, and I have incredible respect for her self-possession. Instead of launching into dozens of questions like anyone else would, she simply bobs her turban-covered head and turns to the side, indicating with one weathered hand that I should precede her into the back.
“Best go sit down. I’ll lock up so we’re not disturbed. This reading will be important.”
A tremor shoots through me as I take a step, as if my body is bracing for the gravity of what’s coming next. Like I have many times before, I make the short walk to the back room, ducking between the dangling curtain of fabric, beads, feathers, and whatever else Celeste has sewn into it.
The table is small and round, painted with a design that came from a vision she received once. She told me about it my first time back here, nearly twenty years ago.
Some people might not believe in all of this, but I can’t dispute the change in my energy as I settle on the velvet cushioned chair. Probably because I do believe. I believe there are forces we can’t see. There’s wisdom and guidance waiting for us, if we only ask. I can only hope they’re feeling generous today and can answer some of the questions swirling in my brain.
The front door chimes as Celeste flips the sign and locks us inside. The scent of roses and cedar grows stronger as she steps through the curtain and smooths the individual pieces of fabric before she pauses at a chest against one wall to retrieve her cards and whatever else she deems necessary for the reading. Before taking her seat, she pauses at the altar, lights a candle, and whispers a prayer. I listen carefully, but can’t make out all her quick broken French.
If it were my first reading, I’d assume she was exercising showmanship, but I know Celeste better than that. This is a ritual. Serious business.
When she finally sits down, I have to remind myself to take long, slow, deep breaths.
I can handle whatever is coming next. I always do. I always will.
Celeste hands me the well-worn deck. “Knock, and then think about your question as you shuffle, child.”
I do as she says while she arranges crystals on the table. I focus as I make the cards dance between my fingers, praying they’re able to provide guidance.
When I hand the deck back to her, Celeste meets my gaze.
“Now we begin.”
She deals the cards in the spread on the table facedown, then flips the first one over to represent me. The Empress.
With a smile, Celeste meets my gaze. “I think we both knew this was coming. Your power is directly related to your femininity. You know that. You feel that. Don’t forget it.”
Dipping my chin for her to continue, I feel a sliver of relief pass through me.
Okay. This is a promising start.
Another card represents my question, which, without me saying anything, Celeste seems to know.
The Chariot. There’s a decision to be made. I can’t stay caught between two choices. I have to move forward.
As I glance up at Celeste’s pale blue eyes, the scent of roses coming off her is even stronger than before. “I made a decision, though. I sold the brothel, and I’m building a new business. I have a new direction. New purpose.”
She tilts her head to the side. “You made that decision in the past. You have a new one to make. The winds of change cannot be denied. I felt it yesterday, girl, and I feel it even stronger today.”
She flips over a couple more cards to represent my past, and they’re accurate enough to tell me the reading isn’t nonsense. There’s something here, and I need to pay attention. When she gets to outside forces, she flips over the King of Pentacles.
“Ahhh,” Celeste says with wonder underlying her tone. “And here we have a male figure. You rarely have these in your readings.” She lifts her chin and tips her head to study me. “Do you know who he is?”
My first instinct is to retreat into being cagey. “Should I know?”
“Don’t play games with me, Magnolia Marie. This is too important. You know exactly who he is, because he’s offering you prosperity and security.”
I swallow the lump rising in my throat the moment she reinforces the gravity of the situation. Softly, I admit, “I know who he is.”
She sways and runs her left hand over a crystal. “There’s resistance. Is it one of your former clients offering to make your life free and easy, all for the price of doing whatever he wants?” That scenario has presented itself plenty of times, but that’s not what’s going on now.
“No. I don’t know why he’s here or what he wants. At least . . .” I glance down at the card on the table, focusing on the man on his throne. “At least, I don’t believe what he claims he wants is true.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t have anything left to give him.” I choke on the last word, shocked to realize I’m near tears.
What the hell is going on with me?
I clear my throat and straighten my shoulders.
I do not show weakness.
But old Celeste sees right through me. “Child, you have so much light to shine on this world, but only if you don’t blow out your flame. Protect it. Nurture it. Getting burned is a risk, but being in the dark is much worse.”
When she flips the next cards, the joyful, cheery reading I’d naively hoped I would receive is completely dashed.
I release a heavy sigh as I tap the Tower card. “Jesus Christ.”
Celeste glances up at me as she gives me a lopsided smile. “Don’t see only the bad. See the change that’s coming. I sensed it yesterday, and there’s no doubt in my mind it’s coming and that it will manifest soon. It’s time. You can’t keep going on as you have been.”
I tip my head back, staring at the ceiling above me, blinking at the burn behind my eyes. If Celeste were anyone else, I’d get up from the table, walk out, and dismiss the whole thing as garbage. But I can’t. I feel it too.
Moses’s words echo in my head. “I’m here for you, Mags. That’s the only reason I’m back.”
He has the power to change everything, whether I want to admit it or not. One small part of me—the part that drew me to the damn window yesterday morning, looking for those glowing green eyes, believes he speaks the truth.