“Mags, calm down. You’re freaking out for real now. It’s okay. I didn’t mean to get you riled up. Just take a deep breath.”
The concern in Keira’s tone cuts through the cloud of panic threatening to choke me. I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. Then again.
“Good girl. It’s going to be okay. I promise,” Keira says, and for the first time in our over twenty-year-long friendship, she sounds like the one who has her shit together and knows all the answers. That’s the role I’ve always played.
How the mighty have fallen, Ho-It-All says, piping up. Where’s your self-respect, Magnolia? Losing it right out in the open? When did you let yourself become so weak? And over a man. Yes, how the mighty have fallen . . .
It’s the reminder I need to pull my shit together.
“You’re right. It’ll be fine. It’s a shock, is all,” I tell Keira, straightening my shoulders and trying to shake it off. “I just need a bit of time to think. How about we talk later?”
“Are you sure you’re good? Because I can—”
Knowing she’s going to offer to send someone to get me, or to stay on the line until I’ve actually pulled it together instead of just pretending I’m okay, I say, “I’m just fine, girl. You know that nothing fazes me for long. Especially not a man.”
“If you’re sure . . .”
Clearly, I’m not doing the best job at selling this. “I’ll text you tomorrow. Give Rory my love. Gotta go.” Before she can protest, I hang up the call.
That’s when I catch sight of Moses, watching me from the corner.
Instantly, my spine goes ramrod straight. “You taking up eavesdropping now too? Can’t a person get some damn privacy?”
His face is completely devoid of his normal easy grin. “I didn’t come back to ruin your life, mama.”
My stomach sinks when I think of what he could have overheard to say something like that.
Then he adds, “And you’re no second-rate backup plan either.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say as I sweep a hand over my ass to brush off any plaster that might have stuck when I leaned on the building.
“I’ll let you play it like that if you want, but only if you answer one more question for me.”
“I don’t have to answer any of your questions,” I say with attitude that makes me feel more like myself.
I paste a smile on my face that the Cheshire cat would be proud of, and start marching down the sidewalk in the direction of my place. As I expected, Moses falls into step beside me.
“If she’s your best friend, why didn’t you tell her about me?”
His question scrapes off some of the veneer I’ve just regained. I walk faster, but his long legs easily keep pace no matter the speed.
“I want an answer, Magnolia. You ain’t running away from me until I get one.”
Finally, I stop in front of a shuttered building and face him, my hands on my hips. “Why do you care?”
Moses’s eerie green eyes scan my face, and it’s like he sees through the strong facade I’m trying desperately to keep intact. “Because I want to know if I’m right.”
“Right about what?” My tone warns him to tread carefully.
“Whether or not you loved me.”
I flinch as if I’ve been slapped.
Jerking my head to the left, I glance at him sideways after his whispered declaration. I take a step, intending to run away from this whole conversation, but I lose my footing on the solid ground beneath me. My world’s been shaken and my entire body flies forward, but instead of landing sprawled on the sidewalk, I’m surprised when Moses catches me.
He lifts me off my feet and brings me flush against his body, chest to chest. As he lowers me to my feet, every fiber of my being begs me to relax against him.
To let him hold me.
Keep me safe.
Protect me.
God, it’s so tempting. But I can’t.
I shove out of his hold and put space between us. If it’s the truth he wants, I’ll give it to him. Straight, no chaser.
“It doesn’t matter anymore what I felt for you then, Moses, because I don’t trust you now. You can say whatever you want, be all smooth and slick, but if it’s an act, I’m not gonna fall for it. I don’t need a man to rescue me. I’ve done fine all by myself.”
“I hurt you, mama.”
He reaches out to take my hand, but I yank it back because if I let him touch me . . . No.
His eyes narrow at my movement, and it’s the first time I’ve seen him annoyed since he’s been back. Good. I want to see the real him. Not this sugarcoated version trying to wine and dine me into driving off into the sunset.
So I decide to give him another bitter sip of my truth.
“Yeah. You did hurt me. Then. But you’re not going to hurt me now. I won’t let you.” If my words are bullets, then they find their mark, because his gaze darkens.
I lift my chin, determined not to let it make me pull my punches. He can’t think I’m going to cave for him easily, no matter what I felt back then or how much it hurt when he left and never came back.
With newfound power, I continue. “I’ve learned a lot in the last fifteen years too. Lesson number one: Magnolia takes care of Magnolia. I don’t need anyone else. I appreciate your help with the cop this morning, but I’ve got it from here. You can go on ahead with your day.”
His palms land on the sides of his forehead and his jaw rocks. “Just like that? You expect me to walk away just like that? Go on about my fucking day?”
“Shouldn’t be too hard. It’s what you’ve been doing since you left.”
“You know what I’ve been doing since I left?”
Moses takes two steps toward me, and I step back instinctively. A wrought-iron gate clangs when my shoulder blades bump into it. He stands in front of me, his features carved from granite.
“I’ve been trying to find my way back to you without putting you in fucking danger. It took me a while. I did a lot of shit I’ll never tell you about. But I’m finally free and clear, and so are you. That’s why I’m here now, after all this fucking time. Because life doesn’t always work out the way you hope, when you hope. But if you’re lucky, sometimes you get a second fucking shot at the one thing you want more than anything else. This is me taking my shot, mama. And I don’t fucking miss.”
His eyes are dilated, and his breathing is labored as he speaks.
“Fight me all you want, but I see through the tough-broad exterior you’re so used to wearing. I see you, Magnolia. That’s who I came back for.”
A myriad of emotions roll off Moses in waves, until I swear I can feel every single thing he’s feeling. Frustration, heartache, devastation, determination . . .
The man’s just as close to the edge right now as I am. He’s ready to lay it all out on the line, and it fucking terrifies me.
I take a few moments to knit the edges of my pride and self-possession together, and then meet his burning green eyes.
“Well, I’m glad you know exactly why you’re here. But you don’t get to tell me how I should feel about it. You’re gonna have to give me some goddamned space and time. I will not be manipulated. Not by you. Not by Mount. Not by anyone. You hear me?”