"God, you're frustrating," he said angrily. "Is it the world in general you don't trust, or just me?"
"Let go," I demanded.
To my surprise, Gideon did just that. I had been pulling my arm at the same time that he released me, so I fell back a little. But Gideon grabbed me once again before my back hit the sharp edge of the counter. Gideon released me as soon as I had my footing.
"You know what, fuck it, I'm done!" Gideon said coldly. "I'll take you back to your cabin."
I really wanted to tell him not to bother and that I'd get home by myself, but it just wasn't possible. I wouldn’t make it five feet by myself outside, let alone however many miles it was back to Birch Cabin. I could hear Gideon shuffling around the kitchen. There was no missing how he was slamming cabinets and drawers and muttering as he did so. It shouldn't have bothered me that I'd pissed him off, but it did. I opened my mouth to apologize but then snapped it shut again.
I heard Gideon call for Brewer, although call for wasn't quite the right term. It was more like he bellowed for the dog. I felt bad that the animal was being punished for something he had nothing to do with.
"You don't need to be a jerk to your dog," I said snidely. I was angrier with myself than with Gideon because I'd made him out to be something he wasn't. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd figured out who I was when he'd found me in Birch Cabin. I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about news articles with headlines like Founder of Dominion Entertainment Blind, Tries to Take Own Life. Not only would my brothers see that headline, but so would the millions of kids who played my video games. How many would see that message and think it was somehow okay to consider ending their lives when things became too difficult to deal with?
Bile crept up the back of my throat as I considered the ramifications of what I’d done. Obviously, I hadn't planned for the information to get out, but what if I’d been successful in ending my life? What if Gideon hadn't found me? The news would've gotten out anyway.
"Get in the truck!" I heard Gideon yell. I had no clue if he was talking to me or Brewer, but I supposed it didn't really matter. I had no choice but to try and feel my way across the kitchen toward Gideon. The task was made more difficult when he went silent. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time because the whole thing was just so ridiculous. Gideon was angry and I was eager to escape, but when it came right down to it, I was as helpless as an infant and neither of us was getting what we wanted.
I had no clue if I was on the right track or not and had just assumed that Gideon had left me there in the kitchen, so when firm fingers closed around my upper arm after about a dozen steps, I let out a little gasp. I expected Gideon, in his anger, to yank me forward, but he surprised me when he put my hand in the crook of his arm and gently guided me forward. I actually preferred it when he held my hand, but beggars couldn't be choosers and I figured I was just lucky he'd even waited for me at all.
"Take this part slow, it's icy," Gideon said when we were outside and on what I assumed was the front porch. The more patient he was as he pointed out the hazards of getting to his truck, the more I began to regret the way I'd jumped all over him. I felt like I at least owed him some kind of explanation.
"Gideon, I know you don't understand why I'm upset—"
"Get in the truck, Lex," Gideon bit out. He didn't sound as angry as he’d been in the house, but he did sound… something. Disappointed, maybe? Which made no sense because I was the injured party.
Wasn't I?
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the front seat of the truck and it was moving. Self-doubt began to creep along my nerve endings. I thought back to the conversation in the kitchen. He’d seemed genuinely upset by my accusation. What if I had gotten it wrong? I’d taken steps to make sure no one would know who I was, so how had Gideon figured it out?
What if he hadn’t figured it out?
My skin felt hot and cold at the same time and I suddenly found it hard to breathe.
"Gideon," I began as regret burned my insides like acid. But Gideon didn't respond and when I said his name again, he just turned the music up in the cab of the truck so there was no possible way we could have a conversation.
It took just a few minutes to reach Birch Cabin. Gideon once again helped me navigate the path into the cabin, but once we were inside the kitchen, he released my arm. I opened my mouth to try and explain my behavior, but Gideon beat me to the punch.
"Here's your bag," Gideon said coolly as he dropped my testing kit into my hand. "If the power goes out, I'll take care of the generator. There’s a landline on the kitchen counter as well as one upstairs in the master bedroom. I went through your fridge and freezer and got rid of anything that didn't survive the outage. Oh, and just a reminder that the fireplace doesn't work with a fucking switch."
As soon as he said that last part, the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. I suddenly remembered the conversation we’d had in his bedroom after I'd woken up. We’d talked about why I hadn't been able to start the fire in the fireplace. I’d told him that I hadn't been able to find the switch for it because fireplaces in LA high-rises…
Fuck.
I felt like I'd been sucker punched… by my own hand. How in the hell had I forgotten that I had told him I was from LA?
"Gideon," I began, but then the side door slammed shut and there was nothing but silence. A moment later, I heard his truck start up outside and then it was driving off and within a matter of seconds, I was once again alone.
And it was no one's fault but my own.
Chapter Eight
Gideon
When my phone rang for what had to be the tenth time in as many hours, I reached into my pocket to silence the damn thing. Lex had been texting and calling me since the previous day, but I'd steadfastly ignored his attempts to talk to me. I could only assume that Harvey had given him my number, since I hadn't given it to him myself.
I was as pissed at Lex as I was at myself for what had transpired. I still had no clue what had really happened, but I had no one but myself to blame because I'd allowed the younger man to get under my skin. If I hadn't, he never would have been sitting at my kitchen table in the first place, let alone been doing dishes after sharing a meal together. I cursed when my traitorous body remembered what it had been like to be pressed up against Lex's back as he’d been washing dishes. I hadn't intended to turn it into anything other than a quick demo on the layout of my sink, but as soon as I’d felt the heat of him, I’d found myself aligning my body more closely with his.
We’d fit perfectly together.
His attack had come out of nowhere just moments later. He hadn't even given me the opportunity to remind him that he'd been the one to tell me he was from LA. One moment he’d been smiling and joking with me, the next he’d been laying into me for absolutely no reason. I should have been grateful because it had made it that much easier to wash my hands of him.
Well, mostly, anyway.
I told myself that the only time I'd go back to Birch Cabin was if we had another storm that could threaten to take out the power. But I'd ended up driving back to the secluded structure three times already. I wasn't sure why I’d done it, especially since I hadn’t been able to see anything from outside anyway. But it was just like my attraction to Lex… it was something I couldn't understand and didn't have the mental energy to try and figure out. Especially not when the object of my strange new obsession had turned out to be the asshole I'd known he would be all along.