“I’m not miserable,” I insisted.
“But you’d be happier if you were with Kate,” Adam said.
I pointed from Adam to Finn. “Are you two in cahoots with Christine? Because my sister said the same thing, and you all sound dangerously like a matchmaking service.”
“Your sister is smart,” Finn added. “And so are we. We’re looking out for you.”
I heaved a sigh, conceding their points, but only by a small amount. “I hear you. I appreciate that you’re looking out for me. But I’m fine. I’ve got it together. And as shocking as this may be to believe, Kate isn’t into your good friend Jake,” I said. It was a helluva lot easier to admit the sorry truth when talking about myself in the third person.
“Probably because you’re so ugly,” Finn said.
“Definitely. She’s not into ugly dudes who work too much,” Adam added.
I flipped them both the bird. But curiosity about what went down with the Kate convo won out, and I took the bait. “So, what did Kate say?”
“That you guys were on the same page,” Adam said.
Frowning, I scrubbed a hand across the back of my neck.
Same page?
Were we on the same page?
Was that the thanks and you’re welcome page?
The it’s been fun page?
The no-strings page?
Then it hit me—maybe that was the same page. But maybe we were both on the wrong page.
Because why the hell would she think I was on any other page? I hadn’t told her. I hadn’t said I was interested in her strings.
I’d simply said you’re welcome.
And I was pretty sure that wasn’t what you said to a woman you wanted to spend your weeknights and weekends with.
I was pretty sure, too, that it wasn’t what you said to the woman who’d made you realize you could enjoy not working.
That you would survive being out of the office.
Because spending a weekend with someone I cared deeply for was a whole lot better.
All this time, I’d thought I needed to make the horse go faster to help my parents. To give them everything they didn’t have when we were kids. But that wasn’t the lesson to learn from my parents. The lesson was—find a way to be happy. Find a way to balance your life.
I took care of my parents just fine, thanks to the success of my law firm.
It was time to start taking care of my ticker too.
And saying you’re welcome wasn’t the way to do it.
That wasn’t what you said to a woman you’d spent the weekend in bed with. A weekend where so much more than role-playing had been on the agenda. Where conversations and meals, nights out and nights in, sleepovers and sex without role-playing had been on the agenda.
I parked a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Your foot looks great in your mouth.”
“Thanks. I think,” he said, furrowing his brow.
“It reminds me of what I need to do. But I need a favor from you.”
“Name it.”
I told him what I needed, then I headed to my car, focused on my mission.
What exactly should I say to the woman I wanted? That was the question, and I wanted the answer.
Because I had some strings to attach.
21
Kate
The next day, I waited for The Moment.
For the heavens to part and the angels to sing.
I waited for the complete and utter bliss of being debt-free.
I was no longer paying for my ex. I was no longer responsible for my romantic mistakes.
Surely a mariachi band would serenade me at lunch.
A singing telegram would arrive and tap-dance through the afternoon lull.
None of that happened.
Work was work.
I had a satisfying job I enjoyed doing from nine to five, and I was glad to be free and clear.
But as I finished a call with Daisy about the next steps in the marketing plan for Sin City Escorts, I felt oddly empty.
Because I missed Jake.
When I said goodbye to Daisy, I glanced at the calendar and spotted a sticky note that said Book Club.
Tonight.
That would fulfill me, surely.
But wait . . .
Ivy had confessed she’d switched to reading a hot romance novel. Truth was, we never stuck to the books we chose, and our meetings ran off on tangents about the sexy books we’d devoured. I couldn’t handle that tonight. Not when the missing was so fresh.
Grabbing my phone, I found the group chat with the book club gals and fired off a quick note.
Something came up, and I can’t make it tonight. Keep the pages turning for me.
Then I breathed a sigh of relief.
Relief from the dread of talking about hot novels, but not from the spot inside that satisfaction and gladness and success couldn’t fill.
I had to fill this emptiness somehow and soon.
Maybe I’d go for a walk and do some window-shopping, or maybe I’d work out.
I gathered my bag and got ready to take off.
Then Trish knocked on my door.
22
Trish
Youth. It was wasted on the young.
If I’d known at age thirty what I knew more than ten years later—well, I’d be richer.
But so it goes.
Life was for the learning and the loving.
That was where I came in today.
Kate was my top employee, a vice president at my firm. And she’d been in a funk since Sunday at our lunch.
Oh, sure, she thought she was expert at covering it up. She’d flash a smile, pump a fist, give an appropriate response when I asked how she was.
But with my forty-plus years came twenty-twenty hindsight. Something was amiss, and I had a hunch what it was.
“Kate . . .” I spoke as if she were my younger sister—that was how I thought of her. “I’d expected you to be bouncing off the walls in excitement.”
Her brow knit, then she quickly unknit it. “Of course. I’m thrilled about Sin City Escorts.”
I shook my head. “No. I meant paying off the debt.”
She swallowed, trying to school her expression. “Excuse me?”
I smiled sympathetically. “I’ve heard some of your conversations with the banks.”
“You have?” Guilt shadowed her face as she ducked her chin.
I waved a hand airily. “Don’t feel bad. It happens to many people. I’m just glad you’re able to move on.” I took a beat, then confirmed, “Were you able to move on?”
She nodded. “Yes, the bonus helped. Thank you, Trish.”
I strode across her office and sat in the chair across from her. “I’m glad you put the money to good use. I could tell you were anxious to get it paid off.”
Kate chewed on the corner of her lip for a moment, perhaps putting two and two together. “Did you offer me bonuses so that I could pay it off sooner?”
With an impish grin, I shrugged. “I didn’t give you anything you didn’t deserve.”
“Trish,” she said softly. “You didn’t have to.”
I swung my high-heeled foot back and forth. “Kate, I don’t do anything because I have to. I do things because I want to. And now I want to give you a piece of advice.”