“Christina,” I said, my breaths labored. “Is it too soon?”
“No. It’s not that,” she said, but her voice was soft, hiding something.
“What is it?” I asked as I rolled off of her but still stayed close. She hesitated, so I reached for her hand and kissed it. “You can tell me anything.”
Her hand caressed my cheek, and I closed my eyes for a second before she started talking, “I just don’t want this to disappear. I know we’ve had sex before, but it doesn’t feel the same. This feels different. Does it feel different to you?” Before I could answer, she crushed me as she said, “I just don’t want you to go away after. I don’t think I could take losing you this time.”
Her confession damn near broke my heart in two. To hear her be so honest and to know that I had hurt her so deeply in the past caused my chest to ache. I didn’t deserve her. And I definitely didn’t deserve another chance with her, but she’d given me one anyway, and I wasn’t going to fuck it up.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. Today. Tomorrow. And the next. I’m not leaving you,” I said, hoping that she would not only believe me, but also find it in her heart to deem me worthy of having her. Although I thought that was my own insecurity rearing its ugly head and not hers.
She closed her eyes and breathed deep, as if she was giving my declaration time to sink in and become a part of her somehow. When her eyes opened again, she nodded before saying the sweetest words, “I believe you.”
Emotion coursed through me, but I pulled myself together as I looked her dead in the eyes. “I want you to know how lucky I feel to be the one who is here with you right now. You didn’t have to give me another chance, but I’ll never make you sorry that you did,” I said the words easily, but I was giving them to her as a promise.
“We all make mistakes, Cole.” She looked at me with soft eyes. “Do things we aren’t proud of or wish we had handled certain situations differently. You’re worth the second chance. I need it as much as you do.”
“Really?” I angled my elbow underneath my body and propped myself up.
“Yes,” she said the single word like I was an idiot for even asking the question. “I would have always wondered what-if when it came to us. We never really tried. So, yeah, I needed this too.”
I leaned down, moving my arm next to her head to brace my weight as I kissed her. “And just for the record”—I stopped before kissing her again—“you asked if this was different for me. The answer is yes. It doesn’t feel the same as before at all.”
She exhaled against me, her breath warm. “Thank God. I was afraid it was just me,” she said before grabbing my lower back with needy hands.
Reaching for my shirt, she tugged at it, ripping it over my head and tossing it somewhere. I stopped paying attention as I helped her remove her top as well.
There was no stopping us now. We craved the connection. Needed it. And even though my hands had touched her body before, it felt like I was exploring new territory as I unbuttoned her shorts and tried in vain to get them off. She wiggled underneath me before kicking them free.
Her fingers worked at my zipper, but she hesitated when she felt the tip of my dick pressing against it. “Am I going to hurt it?” she asked, and I laughed.
“No. He’s tough. But it will be easier this way,” I said before taking them off myself. It took every ounce of my willpower to not plow into her. I felt desperate. I wanted to handle every curve, caress every soft part of her skin before committing it all to memory.
Christina’s eyes widened as she stared at my boxer briefs. “I know what you’re going to say,” she groaned before adding, “that I’ve seen him before, so I shouldn’t be so surprised.”
I smiled because it was exactly what I was going to say.
“But how do you know I wasn’t surprised all those other times too? And you just never knew because we didn’t really talk before.”
“Is that what we’re going to do now? Talk? Because I’d really like to be inside of you if you don’t mind.”
“By all means, don’t let me stop you.” She narrowed her eyes like she was upset with me, and I reached down, my fingers easily finding her panties as I heard her gasp.
My hand moved down lower, her heat beckoning me, and I pushed two fingers inside, her wetness instantly surrounding them. She moaned and squirmed, her body writhing beneath me, and I almost had an embarrassing American Pie movie moment. I was as worked up as she was.
I pulled her panties completely off and sat on my knees to pull briefs down, my dick springing free with relief.
Standing up, I kicked them off as Christina asked, “Where are you going?”
Searching the pile of discarded clothes on the floor, I reached for my shorts and fumbled for the right pocket before pulling out a condom and holding it up for her to see. She smiled as I opened the wrapper and rolled the rubber down my length before positioning myself back on top of her.
“Ready?” I asked, and it was a stupid question, but I couldn’t take it back now.
She nodded, and I lined up the head of my dick with her entrance and slowly pushed inside.
Christina gasped a little, her mouth forming a perfect little O as I moved all the way in, burying myself in her warmth.
“Jesus,” I said before realizing my eyes were closed tight. Opening them, I found Christina watching me, her blue eyes glassy and gazing into my own. “You okay?”
“I’m okay.” She gave me a teasing smile, and I lowered my mouth to hers, wanting to feel every part of her against every part of me.
Will it ever feel like she is close enough?
My hips moved back and forth, working faster than I wanted but I couldn’t help it. My dick craved a release, and I wasn’t stupid enough to ask him to stop. He might end up betraying me and never come again, and I’d have no one to blame but myself.
“You feel so good. I love being inside you,” I confessed against the hollow of her neck.
“Look at me,” she pleaded, and I did as she’d asked. I would do anything she wanted. “Don’t stop.” Her voice was breathy, her hips grinding against my own, creating a friction I knew she craved for her own release.
I sent up a silent prayer that she’d get there before I did.
Our bodies continued to move in unison, finding a rhythm that wasn’t forced or unnatural. We’d had sex before, but I’d never allowed myself to feel the kind of emotions that currently ripped through me. But maybe that was just it—this wasn’t simply sex. It felt like more.
The closer I got to coming, the harder I had to work to stop myself from blurting out that I was falling in love with her. I’d never wanted to say those words to a girl in my life, and now, I had to stop myself from shouting them every time my dick dived deeper.
“Christina,” I said her name like it was my lifeline to staying in this universe as my pace quickened.
“Cole.” My name on her lips was the sweetest damn sound.
I took it from her. My name, her lips, her breaths—I took it all as my mouth covered hers, ours tongue tangling, and I couldn’t hold back any longer.
By the time my body stopped jerking, I focused on her again. She was breathing fast, her chest heaving up and down as I stared at her in awe.