Ishtara clicked her beak. “He’s telling the truth as he knows it.”
“He’s obviously deranged.” Belle glanced at him and with a sneer said, “Exactly how many times were you dropped on your head as a child?”
“None.”
“Which explains the soft skulls,” Ishtara clucked. “For me, I was dropped several times during the formative stage.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Belle asked.
“Why would I jest? It’s a common practice to strengthen the textile thickness of a skull with some well-applied blows,” Ishtara replied.
“You do realize you’re just causing hematomas that lead to permanent brain damage, right?” Clarabelle asked.
“Not true,” the Zonian scoffed. “My head can withstand most direct blows without any ill effect. Why, I’ve been whacked more than a hundred times and look at me. I’m stronger than ever.” Ishtara thumped her chest.
“Do you remember what you did in that bar last night after you rode the bucking Trewrm?”
Judging by the frown on Ishtara’s face, she didn’t.
Clarabelle leaned close and whispered, loud enough he could hear, “Picture this if you can. You and an Ymp in a bar, humping on the dance floor.”
The statement led to the Zonian clucking and the stubby wings on her back snapping. “You lie.”
“Am I? Have you taken a pregnancy test in the last day?”
“I would know if I fornicated.”
“If you remembered…” The human female blinked in false innocence.
He almost laughed. The banter proved wildly entertaining.
“One day someone will slit your throat while you sleep. You are truly evil,” grumbled Ishtara, only to beam. “I’m so proud.”
“Only because I had an awesome teacher.” The pair grinned at each other, and that quickly, the verbal sparring stopped and they both turned their attention on him.
“What should we do about him?” Belle asked.
“Think he tastes any good?”
“I wouldn’t suggest taking a bite,” he warned. Perhaps he would get to fight, after all. The question being, should he overpower his mate or kill her in the hopes of finding a new one? Karma might punish him if he did the latter.
“Do you really think you can locate more humans for Red Tide and the others?” Ishtara demanded.
“Maybe. I can begin seeking immediately,” he hastened to add, as those wings on the Zonian’s back extended in agitation.
“What makes you think you’ll find anything? I’ve been looking and looking and coming up empty,” stated Clarabelle. “You’d think with a universe worth of information we’d get a kickass internet and search engine. But no. Finding out anything sucks ass because all you get are commercials. If I say search for a human, the first thing that comes up is dolls. Robotic, human-looking sex dolls!”
Ishtara took on a somber expression. “I’ve told you to be careful with those. There have been issues with some of those robots gaining sentience.”
Even Thyos had heard about those androids who suddenly killed their owners and escaped. No one understood why it kept happening but assumed a virus. All the more reason to never allow that kind of sentient technology near Qhryce.
“I have no interest in a life-size Ken doll.” The expression didn’t mean anything to Thyos. “The only thing I need is my handy-dandy bob.”
“Bob?” he queried, a spurt of jealousy making it a bark.
Belle had a smirk as she said, “Battery operated boyfriend.”
“I never understand why you play with plastic when you can capture yourself the real thing.” Ishtara hiked her belt.
“Bob doesn’t talk back,” was Belle’s sassy retort.
“Your companion is correct,” he interjected. “Nothing can replace sex in the flesh.” He held Belle’s gaze and noticed color rising in her cheeks before she ducked her head.
“Then have at it, dude. I’ll stick to my little friend.”
“Little being the whole problem,” muttered Ishtara. “But we digress. I am interested in your proposal to aid us in our search.”
“We don’t need help,” Belle grumbled.
“Apparently we do. I do not understand. If he is willing to give us information, why do you not accept?” asked Ishtara.
“Because, in exchange for this info that doesn’t yet exist, I’m supposed to interfere with his engagement.”
“Facilitate,” he corrected.
Her nose wrinkled. “I’d rather not convince some poor woman to marry you. If you’re going to be cruel, then maybe it would be kinder to kill your fiancée rather than subject her to you.”
The insult amused him. “Are you certain being mated to me would be horrifying?”
“I don’t know. I’ve yet to see your face.” She cocked her head and tried to peer in the shadow of his cowl, but he already knew she wouldn’t see a thing. A slight mirage, projected by the tech woven into the fabric of his cloak, made him anonymous.
“Does appearance matter?”
“Yes.” She didn’t even hesitate.
“What of character?”
“That’s important, too, but most people don’t want to be hooking up with someone gross.”
“What is this gross?” he asked.
“With her, anything that swings a dick apparently,” Ishtara muttered.
“Don’t you start again,” Belle growled.
“I’ll do whatever I like, little girl.”
“Don’t call me little!”
“Fine. Red. Tide.” Each word was enunciated and meant to rile Belle.
Before they could truly try and murder each other, he said loud enough they would both hear, “Do we have a deal or not?”
“You know, it occurs to me that maybe instead of getting help from you, perhaps I should approach your fiancée. Find out how she feels about getting hitched to you,” Belle sourly stated.
“I can save you the trouble. She’d be appalled.”
“You mean she doesn’t know?”
“Not yet,” he said with a hint of a smirk.
“Then she won’t miss you at all when I slit your throat and dump you in the freezer for dinner.” Belle thumbed the hilt of a knife.
“I am beginning to think your companion is correct when she says you hate males.”
“I don’t hate men,” she huffed.
“Says the female uttering death threats instead of being mature and striking a bargain,” he countered.
“Ha! He just called you a whiny child.” Ishtara snorted.
“This child is about to have an epic meltdown. I don’t want your help.”
“You might not want it, but you need it,” Ishtara declared. “We can’t keep wandering around aimlessly, looking for compatible males.”
“I thought you sought a human settlement,” he said.
Again, the Zonian made a disparaging sound. “She seems fixated on the idea of finding human males, but I say she shouldn’t be so picky and should accept anything with a compatible penis. Even a deft tongue would solve the problem she and the other orphans are suffering.”