Eyes tracking along my body, down the now see-through material of my inconveniently chosen white t-shirt, his smile drops away.
He steps closer, moving his lips to the shell of my ear. “I take it back, beauty. You’re not a disgusting little hermit. A hermit, yes, but not disgusting. Not like the thoughts running through my head right now.”
Teeth on nipples, biting hard enough to make me come. Forcing me to beg for it.
Ducking away from the full proximity of his overwhelming body, I force a laugh.
“Get a grip, Shay. Your slushie was horrible, kind of like my sweaty self. I’m out. Catch you next week.”
His smile follows my exit in its entirety, my body only free from his hungry gaze the moment his front door closes, essentially shutting him out. Even then, I feel him staring through the thick wood. His eyes as powerful as his body.
Chapter Fifteen
Rocco
My body buzzes with the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
I feel alive. My heart is racing with expectation and excitement. My cock is hard; my blood pumping so steadily through my body I can feel it throbbing. My leg bounces as I drive, my fingers tapping against the steering wheel, working to rid myself of the excess energy wanting to break me apart.
But while my body is a live wire ready to put to death anything that stands in my path, I feel dead inside. My hands itch with the need to kill, to maim, to watch the fragile reality of life crushed under the weight of my palm. This dark need only further blackens the venom of my soul. Soon it’ll be all that remains; shadows of destruction that once held slivers of good, patches of light. I’ve accepted that’s not my future. Hearts and roses were never my ending. I’m at peace with the fact that I’ll eventually be buried alongside misery and scorn.
Can you remain calm?
Calm? Is he fucking kidding?
I pray she fucking runs. I crave her fight. I want nothing more than for Sarah Rein to give me a reason to snap her double-crossing neck.
Who could honestly say they’d remain calm while standing face-to-face with the person responsible for the death of their mom? I’d like Dominic Rein to tell me he wouldn’t suck the life out of a hopeless cunt that crossed him in the same way.
The shrill ring of my cell interrupts my murderous thoughts and I’m equally relieved and disappointed.
“Yeah?”
“Just checking you haven’t skinned her alive and began feasting on her flesh.”
I laugh humorlessly. “Ain’t no way I’m putting the taint of her insides into mine. My soul is rotten enough all on its own.”
I suck in a deep breath, letting it go with the temptation Dominic just offered me. “Checkin’ up on me? Thought you trusted me.”
“I do,” he implores. “I don’t trust her.”
I laugh again. “Your wife can do her worst, Rein. Frankly, I’m prayin’ she does. It’ll give me an excuse to hurt her.”
A sigh of disappointment filters down the line. “That’s what she wants, Rocco. Don’t let her pick away at your self-control.”
“Yeah, yeah. She’ll come back to you in one piece, boss. Calm your fucking farm.”
“I have no idea what that means, son. I hear Camryn say it to Codi regularly, but I’ve yet to understand how it makes sense. How does one ‘calm their farm’?”
I smile unintentionally. “It means chill, Dominic. We have an agreement. Think what you will of me, but I do hold some fucking integrity.”
“Good. I’d hate to have to kill you.”
“I’d like to see you try, old man.” I hang up without another word.
Have you ever been genuinely surprised by your own weakness? Not in a mildly unexpected sense, but smack you in the face, break your nose kind of way. The kind of surprise that makes you question who you are? Who you’ve always been?
The storm only moments ago raging inside of me had been quelled without my interference. Without blood, without pain. My ranting beast pulled back into sleep with a lullaby I didn’t know was being sung.
He did that.
Dominic fucking Rein soothed the beast inside of me with a few bad jokes and what? Care? Kindness?
Who the fuck am I? Am I that needy? Someone offers up the smallest hint of effort, of prudent thought and I roll over, begging they give me more? This family is weakening my resolve by the day. I just wish I could find anger or resentment within me for them for doing so. I want to hate them for coercing me into this vulnerability. I find myself not wanting to disappoint them. I want to win, for them. I’m no longer a solo act, my sole purpose protecting my brother and the legacy of my slain family. I’m part of a pack. One I’d sworn my life to destroy.
I shouldn’t be surprised at how quickly life can change. A blink of an eye, a thickly drawn breath and everything you know can mutate.
When I was sixteen, my life held a semblance of normality, of happiness. Then my mother was brutally ripped from my life and I was thrown into hell. Eighteen years later, consumed by hate and unresolved rage, I had plans to avenge my mother. I searched for peace, for vengeance. Then my brother fell in love with the very person I wanted to strip from this world. My life tipped upside down and inside out within seconds. Mira died. Marcus died. My vengeance was unwarranted and misaimed, pushing me into yet another dark path. One of self-destruction.
If my life has taught me anything it’s to never get comfortable. The moment you fall into contentment, you’re weakened and that life you’re so comfortable in, it’ll fuck you without your permission.
Pulling my car into a parking spot outside the derelict building, I glare at the rotting infrastructure. Why is it that when people go into hiding they find themselves living in a cesspit? You can guarantee if I’m ever placed in the position in which I don’t want to be found, I wouldn’t be shacked up with the likes of junkies and small-time criminals. It’s like a neon fucking sign. Nah, I’d be living it up in a fucking Four Seasons drinking top-shelf whiskey waiting for my ending.
Tivoli, one of Dominic’s right-hands—and apparently my babysitter—taps at my window.
Sighing in irritation, I swing my door open, forcing him a few steps backward.
“You can stay out here.”
He scowls. “Or you could.”
“I don’t need a fucking minder. I’ll go in, grab her and be back out in less than ten minutes. She’s one woman.”
“One unhinged psycho in hiding. Thought you’d know better than to underestimate a cornered animal.”
I smirk.
“You’re hoping she does something stupid.” He shakes his head. “Ah. Fuck. I wish Dominic had sent someone else, you’re gonna get me fucking killed. If not by her, by my boss. You got ten minutes then I’m following your stubborn ass in. Don’t get yourself killed, I enjoy my job.”
Flipping him off, I tuck my 9mm into my jeans, my strides long as I make off toward the building’s front entrance.
The inside of the building smells like how the outside looks. Putrid. The stale scent of meth, of sex, of fucking death climbing up my nostrils and turning my stomach. It’s eerily quiet. The sound of passed out junkies and people not wanting to be found like a bass drum, closing the walls in with every careful step.