“I can’t believe it’s ten o’clock already.” Melissa said this with her cheek pressed to his chest, her arms around his waist. She tipped her face back to look at him. “This was actually kind of fun, Matt. Thanks.”
He looked down into her face, noticing the spray of freckles over her nose and the pale, almost translucent brown of her eyes. “Sure. It was fun, just hanging out. You know? No pressure. I think I’m going to use that in my report.”
“Me too.” She smiled. “I’m not sure we’re supposed to tell each other what we’re going to write.”
“Right, right.” Matt let her go, reluctant to feel her body move from his. It was just a normal reaction, he told himself, to the loss of the soft feminine weight and pressure to which his body was programmed to react.
But it felt like a little more than that, he thought as they parted ways again at the outside door to the Psych building. Crazy, he knew, but that’s how it felt. He’d make sure to write that down in the report, too.
He wondered what Melissa was writing in hers.
Chapter Seven
Kissing.
Tonight was kissing. Melissa had flossed, brushed and rinsed three times already and was considering heading to the restroom to do it a fourth time when the door opened and Matt came in. She finished crunching her mint and swallowed. Smiled.
“Hey,” she said.
Three days into this experiment, and all she could think about was whether or not she was going to go through with it and have sex with him. It had colored every perception about the entire experience. The hand holding, the hugging. She’d written down all her thoughts and emotions, just as she’d been instructed, but that hadn’t helped. If anything, focusing on exactly how her mind leaped from a simple squeeze of fingers to imagining the size of Matt’s penis had only made it all the more impossible to stop thinking about what his erection might be like.
“Hi.” Matt’s smile got wider. “So. You ready for this?”
“I don’t know. I think so.” Melissa patted her belly. “I avoided garlic all day. I hope you did, too!”
“Of course.” Matt leaned in to say confidentially, “brushed my teeth about ten times, too.”
She laughed. It seemed natural by this point to let him take her hand and to follow him to the couch, where they settled into a snuggly position, arms and legs tangled up. The idea was to progress further into intimacy every session, and Melissa was glad Matt was making it so easy. So not-weird. It easily could’ve been, with someone else.
Funny, too, how she’d first thought he wasn’t much to look at. After all this time getting up close and personal, it wasn’t that her idea of what was attractive had changed. It was her opinion of Matt that had. His smile, the way the corners of his eyes crinkled, his laugh – those more than made up for his hazel eyes and sandy hair.
He was smiling now, his fingers linked loosely with hers. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to laugh?”
Melissa laughed, anyway. “Umm…oops.”
Matt shook his head a little. “I haven’t been this nervous about kissing someone since I was in eighth grade playing Seven Minutes in Heaven in the closet.”
Melissa hadn’t played that game. “Spin the bottle, for me.”
He tilted his head, just a little. “You too?”
“I can honestly say I’ve never thought about kissing someone with as much trepidation and anxiety as I’ve been thinking about this all day long,” Melissa admitted.
Matt’s fingers squeezed. “You don’t want to?”
Did she imagine he sounded disappointed? Melissa shook her head. “No. I want to. I mean…do you want to?”
“Yeah. A thousand bucks, right?”
Melissa took a deep breath. “Right. It would be stupid to get all this way and then bail.”
They both nodded.
Neither of them moved.
“Maybe if we both went for it at the same time,” Matt suggested. Then, “God, you must think I’m such a pussy.”
“No!” Melissa laughed at that. “No, Matt. Wow. Not at all. Believe me, I’m nervous, too. This isn’t really the normal way anyone goes about kissing someone for the first time, you know. I’m trying to remember all the details to put in the report, first of all. Usually that first kiss is just…sensation, you know? Not logic. Not analysis.”
“Count to three,” Matt murmured, eyes gleaming. “Then we’ll go for it.”
“Deal.”
One. Two. Three…
It was spectacularly bad. Teeth mashed against gums in a hard, dry peck that had nothing resembling passion whatsoever. They both pulled away from each other, and Melissa touched her mouth to make sure she wasn’t bleeding. It sure felt like her mouth was at least bruised.
“Wow,” Matt said. “That sucked.”
Yet Melissa laughed again. “It sure did.”
Matt ran his tongue over his bottom lip and eased a tiny bit closer. “Let’s try it again. Slower this time? Maybe…you should go first.”
“Me? Why me?” Melissa heard a squeak in her voice and swallowed hard.
“I just…erm…” Matt looked embarrassed. “I think it would be better that way, that’s all.”
Melissa eyed him. “Why?”
He looked down to where their hands still linked. It had become such second nature she’d barely noticed. “Because you’re the woman, and I want to make sure you…um…you know. Really want to, and all.”
“A thousand bucks, remember?” she teased.
Matt looked at her. “Yeah, well…aside from that. I want to make sure you’re okay with it.”
This touched her, and Melissa nodded, even though the idea of being the one to move in first for the kiss made her stomach clench. “That’s very sweet, Matt.”
“Hey, I’m a sweet guy.”
“And so modest,” she said.
“So? You’ll do it?”
Melissa drew in a deep, long breath. “Sure. Okay. I’ll do it.”
Had she ever been the first to make the move? If she had, Melissa couldn’t remember it. Of all the first kisses she’d ever had with someone, this was certainly shaping up to be the most memorable. That’s when she decided she was going to make it memorable, not just because they were doing an experiment, but, well, just because.
Because she could.
Letting go of Matt’s hand, Melissa pushed up onto her knees. The couch cushions dipped underneath her as she moved in front of him. She took his face in her hands, cupping his jaw. His skin was bristly, just a little, though he looked fairly clean-shaven. Her fingers brushed the bottom edges of his sideburns while her thumbs pressed the curve of his chin.
Matt’s mouth opened the tiniest bit, but he didn’t say anything. He looked deep into her eyes, and though they’d spend oodles of time hugging and holding hands and talking about everything that could be talked about in four-hour increments, this was the first time he’d ever looked so deeply into her gaze.
It rocked her, that look. Right down to the middle of her gut, and lower down, too. Yes, this was artificial, she thought as she studied his face. But that didn’t make it any less real.