Insecurity stirs in the pit of my stomach, replacing the dread. Next to him, I feel like a complete underachiever. It’s going to be hard not to focus on his status when I’m with him. I can only hope that he makes me forget who he is when we have our sessions, otherwise they won’t be pleasant.
I scroll through a few more of the same types of articles spanning the last few years and take deep breaths, my anxiety ebbing slowly.
Satisfied there’s nothing else to see, I’m about to close out the search page, when I notice another eye-catching headline that makes my heart jump in my chest.
Young CEO headed for tumultuous divorce.
Married for less than a year, CEO and sole proprietor of Stone Enterprises, Lucian Stone is headed for a vicious split with Tricia Stone, formerly Morgan. The couple has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences although there are several rumors of an affair. And not what you’d expect. It appears Mrs. Stone has fled their home and is staying with an unknown “former friend.” Tricia has been quoted as saying, “The last few months of our marriage have been difficult, and I simply can’t continue in this manner. This marriage and divorce have certainly harmed my image, and I have no doubt that it will affect me for the rest of my life. This isn’t what I thought we were committed to when we exchanged vows, and I am deeply heartbroken by the turn of events.” Mr. Stone has failed to comment.
I close out the page, feeling slightly uncomfortable and wincing with a twinge of guilt. I shouldn’t have dug past his company’s history, let alone gotten into his personal history. Shit.
“Feel better now?” Carla is looking at me with relief in her eyes. I wish I felt the same. It seems she’s just as happy as I am that nothing dastardly has shown up on Lucian. I probably would’ve driven her crazy had I not done this. “You found out that he wasn’t a serial killer... and I found out that I missed out by getting stuck with Bruce.”
“Carla!” I protest.
Carla gives me a playful smirk. “Just joking. But seriously, you okay now?”
No, I’m not. But I’m going to suck it up and deal with this until tonight. I nod my head. “You’re right. I didn’t find out anything that makes me want to back out of my contract, thank God.”
Carla smiles with relief. “Good.”
The rest of my day is much more productive, and I’m even able to come up with a kick ass costume theme for Debra’s after party; Subs and Doms. Carla thinks it’s an absolute hoot. She’s just worried about how Debra is going to take it.
By the time six rolls around, the exhaustion I was experiencing earlier is gone. Like I predicted earlier, I’m wide awake and I can’t stop trembling with excitement.
“I’m going to go freshen up and then wait downstairs for my ride,” I announce to Carla, my hands trembling with nervousness and excitement as I stick the last profile on an outfit. There’s still one last pile of clothes that needs to be organized, and there are sticker papers all over the floor. I’m supposed to help Carla clean it up, but if I do, I’ll be late and I’m afraid of angering Lucian before our first meeting.
I can almost picture the anger in his eyes, and it sends a shiver down my spine.
Carla finishes hanging up a white ball gown, and then turns to grin at me. “Just remember to relax and enjoy yourself,” she advises. “A good Dom will make you feel safe in surrendering to him.” She pauses and bites her lower lip, as if unsure if she should say something else. “And let me know all the dirty details tomorrow!” she blurts out.
“Seriously?” I give her a pointed look. “But you just scolded me earlier about the NDA.”
Carla scowls at me with consternation. “Fuck the NDA! Lucian is hot as fuck. I want to know what happens, or else!” She gestures at the leftover work. “Besides, you owe me for leaving me to deal with all this alone. Hopefully Lucian leaves a red print on that ass for me in revenge.” She gives me a devious grin, and I imagine her mind is filled with dirty, depraved thoughts.
I blush furiously and let out a laugh. “My, my, that attitude isn’t very submissive, is it? But okay. I’ll be sure to take notes.”
Carla mimics the thumbs up Debra loves to give when someone is doing a good job. “Good girl.”
I laugh again and leave Carla to clean up our mess and make my way downstairs, my heels clicking against the floor. I walk into one of the work restrooms and make sure it’s empty before I walk over to the mirror. I need to freshen up before I meet with Lucian’s driver. I feel like I can barely breathe as I lean against the granite counter. I would’ve preferred to go home to take a shower after spending all day on my feet, but Lucian had been adamant. He wanted me right at six fifteen, and not a moment after. I shouldn’t be surprised. This is a man who is used to getting what he wants. And he wants me. Again, I can hardly believe this is real. One point six million, with a super handsome and ultra-wealthy Dom willing to fulfill my fantasies. And eight hundred thousand of that money goes to me. It’s just too much to take in.
Anxiety and desire roll through me thinking about the way Lucian demanded that I be available for him. Sitting there in that chair, he looked like a man that was dying of thirst. Like he would’ve done anything in that moment to get a drink of me. And I want to satisfy that thirst. My blood chills at the thought of him looking at me like my last ex did. Like somehow he’ll know I’m not enjoying it. That I’ll be disappointing him if I can’t get off when he wants, how he wants. I take in a steadying breath. No, I think and shake my head. Neither of my exes would’ve even known about my problems if I hadn’t told them. And this is about me pleasing Lucian. I can do this, and Lucian doesn’t need to know about how broken I am.
After several deep breaths, I feel a bit calmer. I finish washing up, and focus on fixing my hair and makeup. When I’m satisfied with my appearance, I leave the bathroom and make my way out into the vast lobby and toward the front exit, marked by two glass double doors.
My heart seems to pound harder with each step, and by the time I reach the doors, I’m out of breath. I can’t stop trembling. I’m filled with anxiety over what’s to be my first sexual encounter in years. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a man, and the last few encounters only left me feeling disappointed and let down. A part of me is afraid this will end up being no different.
Outside, a Rolls Royce with tinted windows is waiting for me by the sidewalk. The driver is leaning against the car and immediately pushes off and straightens his shoulders when he sees me. I don’t even have to guess whose car it is.
I place my hand on the cool silver handles of the glass double doors, steadying myself, my legs feeling like they’re going to buckle. Another few minutes and I’ll be running late. I need to get out there, but I have the sudden urge to run away.
I can do this. Everything is going to be okay.
Taking a deep, calming breath, I swing open the doors and walk outside.
Chapter 11
Lucian
I loosen my tie as I finally get to my penthouse. She should be here any minute. I wanted to be in the car with Joseph when he picked her up, but work took priority. Besides, we can discuss matters in the playroom. Quickly.