“Yes,” I reply. “Her Dom is named Bruce, and he’s actually her boyfriend.” Including that small bit of information makes my blood heat with insecurity. She’s more to him than I am to Lucian. I have to look away from Lucian and clear my throat before continuing. “I don’t know if you know him or not.”
A thoughtful expression graces Lucian’s handsome face. “Hmm. Can’t say that I’ve heard of those two before, and I usually know who the couples are within the club.” Lucian’s eyes grow distant and I know he’s thinking about some event in the past, something that troubles him because his demeanor has shifted. “But then again, I’ve been away from the club for a while.”
I clear my throat and ask, “Will we be going back to the club anytime soon?”
“If you’d like, we can.” He straightens in his seat and clears his throat, the hard lines on his face softening. “In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”
“About what?” I ask curiously.
“I think it might be beneficial for you to be around other couples, get used to how they interact. It’ll help you with training.”
I nervously half smile. I’m anxious about trying something outside my safe zone, and I prefer the privacy of Lucian’s playroom, but I’m anxious to see more of the club. “I think so, too,” I agree, a small thrill running through me.
Lucian seems pleased at my response and he once again gives me that look that makes my skin prick. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that?”
I blush furiously, my heart doing backflips at his unabashed praise. That compliment was totally unexpected. Lucian’s really making me feel like that we actually are a couple, even though this is supposed to be pretend. I have to shake my head and remind myself that this isn’t real. It’s all make-believe. “Thank you,” I say in a soft voice, a shy smile on my lips.
Lucian shakes his head. “No thanks needed here. So why is it that you decided to enter the auction?”
I freeze as his question triggers those dark memories that are always waiting for the right moment to pounce. The very reasons that drove me to Club X. Several painful images flash in front of my face and I have to grip the edges of the table to keep my composure. I lower my gaze, breathing deeply, slowly, fighting to push those horrible images away. Not here. Not now. Go the fuck away.
When I look up, Lucian is staring at me with concern in his eyes and my heart is suddenly aching for him. Maybe I should just be open with him. Doesn’t he have the right to know? A powerful urge presses down on my chest, bidding me to tell him everything.
I respect your needs and your submission, and you do the same for me and my dominance. It’s about trust, respect and communication.
His words bear heavy on my conscience. If I truly want our relationship and contract to be successful, shouldn’t I be truthful with him and let him know who he’s really dealing with? Isn’t that what trust is all about?
“Treasure?” Lucian’s deep voice snaps me to attention.
I open my mouth, ready to tell him everything, but no words come out. I can’t bring myself to say it, can’t bring myself to reveal my dark secret. A secret that could possibly push Lucian away. Fuck. I feel ashamed. I wish this wasn’t so fucking awkward, too.
I give Lucian a light, fraudulent smile and shrug. “I don’t know... I just... wanted to try it.” I feel shitty for lying, and it’s so fucking obvious that I am, but what else can I do? I’m not telling Lucian about my past. At least not right now. I don’t want to mess up our arrangement in any way. It’s just sex. And it’s over in less than a month. I don’t owe him anything more.
Lucian peers at me, his eyes piercing me with their skepticism. “Are you sure there isn’t something else you aren’t telling me?”
I almost fold beneath his questioning gaze, my heart hammering in my chest. It’s funny how the tables turn. A minute ago I was prying into his past, but now he’s prying into mine. And he didn’t open up to me. The reminder hardens my resolve. I duck my head, tearing my eyes from his and look down into my glass of water. “I’m sure,” I repeat firmly, injecting as much strength into my voice as possible to get him off my back.
It’s about trust, respect and communication, his words scream in my head, making me feel even more like shit.
Lucian stares at me intently, looking like he wants to press the issue, but then he straightens, a smile curling the corner of his lips as he takes a sip of his chardonnay. I relax slightly, realizing he’s letting me off the hook. Thank God. He’s definitely not buying my lie, though, and for some reason he seems content on letting me get away with it. For now.
A feeling of relief flows through me when the waiter returns with our food balanced in each hand. My stomach quietly rumbles as the rich aroma fills my nostrils and he sets the plates down in front of us.
“Anything else, sir?” the waiter asks.
“No, thank you,” Lucian’s quick to reply.
“Enjoy,” he says. And with a flash of a smile, the waiter’s gone.
Grabbing my heavy fork, I take a bite of the tender meat dipped in sauce, and my eyes widen as the sweet tangy flavor fills my mouth. Damn. Lucian is right.
“This is delicious,” I remark, waiting for Lucian’s gaze to meet mine. “Thank you.” I hope he knows how serious I am.
Lucian grins. “I knew you would like it,” he says confidently.
“So how did you become the CEO of your company?” I ask after a few more delicious bites. Having read the article about his rise to success, I pretty much know what Lucian is going to say, but I’d like to hear him tell it. I figure now is a good time as ever to hopefully turn this date around and focus on something that will lighten the mood.
Lucian eyes me. “How did you know I was CEO? Much less own my own company?” There’s a bit of humor in his voice. I’m sure he knows I cyberstalked him.
I freeze mid-bite, my mind racing with an explanation other than the obvious. Fuck. Lucian never told me what he did, and I never asked. Nor was there any mention of his occupation in the contract. I open my mouth to say, “I just assumed that,” but then snap my lips shut, feeling a bite of shame. It’s one thing to tell a lie because you’re hiding something too personal to share, it’s another to tell one to cover something harmless.
A blush reddening my cheeks, I sheepishly admit, “I looked you up on the net.”
I brace myself, half expecting Lucian to go into a rage for my intrusion on his privacy, but he just chuckles. “I was sure you had, my sweet treasure,” he says. “I’d do the same thing if I were in your shoes. Hell, it’s the smart thing to do. I would never advise anyone to enter into a contract with a stranger without knowing something about them, especially someone you’d be entrusting with your safety.”
I’m relieved that Lucian hasn’t taken offense to my prying. For some reason, I keep waiting for him to punish me for any blunders. It’s like the line is blurring between Dom Lucian and real Lucian. I don’t know which one I’m talking to. “One thing the articles I read kept going on about was how young you were to head a successful startup,” I add. “That’s impressive.”