“I want this, treasure. I need this.” I understand it’s fucked up. But I do. I need to know that when I make her angry, or when I fail her, she can’t leave me. I need to know she’ll still be here and I’ll be able to make it right.
“This is what I want from you… equality,” she stresses the last word and I still don’t understand. I don’t get what this has to do with the contract or anything for that matter.
“You are my equal. How can you not see that?”
“I’m your Submissive. I can’t be both!”
“You are my Submissive, my other half and my equal. They’re all one and the same.” It pisses me off that she would think less of herself.
She looks lost again. I’ll show her what it means to be mine. My everything. She’s best when she submits. She’s more comfortable in that role. This questioning everything isn’t what she needs.
“I’ll change whatever you want, and you’ll sign the contract.” I’m forceful with her. It’s what she needs, I know it is.
“Now get on your knees.” She just needs a hard fuck. I’ve been too busy for her. I won’t make the same mistake I made with Tricia, not with her. I can’t let her get away from me. I won’t let my treasure slip through my fingers.
She looks back at me with uncertainty. “Did you kill him?” she asks me.
My heart stops in my chest, my blood running cold. She hasn’t asked. She hasn’t brought it up since she got the text messages from her mother. I could tell she knew. It has to be obvious.
“Where’s this coming from?” I ask her.
“That’s not an answer.” Her voice is low, and wavers.
“I’m your Dom, you’ll do well to remember that right now.”
“I thought you said I was your equal?” she asks as she cocks a brow at me, her voice broken and raw. My heart twists in my chest.
“Yes, you are, and yes, I had him killed.” The words slip from my lips before I can stop them, my heart beating so hard it slams with pain on each beat.
She gasps and steps back slightly. My breathing comes in ragged as I wait for her response. I never intended on telling her. I didn’t want her to have to carry the weight of knowing. But I won’t lie to her.
“He deserved to die, Dahlia. Not only for what he did to you, but what he continued to do after.” My words are full of conviction, but she doesn’t respond.
She looks toward the door, but I don’t want her to leave me. She’s scared, and I can comfort her. I can make this right.
I breathe out deeply. “I need you to understand that you’re safe. I’ll always make sure you’re safe.”
Her breathing comes in quicker, and she looks so lost. She’s forever lost and insecure. If only she’d listen to me. “Come here.”
“No,” she’s quick to respond, and it pisses me off.
I narrow my eyes at her. “Treasure,” I say and my voice holds a note of admonishment. She’s going to be punished for deliberately disobeying me.
“You’re not leaving, Dahlia.” I won’t let her go. I can’t. I can’t lose her.
“I have to.” I close my eyes at her words, hating them. My hands ball into fists at my side.
“You don’t have to do a damn thing but do as I say. Come here.”
“Don’t make me stay. Please, don’t make me stay.” My body heats with anxiety at the fear in her voice. She’s afraid of me. Tears leak from the corners of her eyes. No. I shake my head, denying that this is even a reality. This wasn’t meant to hurt her. I only meant to give her justice.
“It’s me, Dahlia. I’m still the same man I was.”
“You killed him?” There’s a mix of disbelief, fear, and something else in her voice.
I nod my head once. “I hired the hit.” Regret starts to creep in, but I refuse to allow it. I had to do the right thing. I only wish she’d understand.
“Come here.” I soften my voice, waiting for her Submissive side to come through. I take two steps toward her and she backs away.
“Red.” My lungs stop working as she whispers the word, shaking her head. She walks to the door, her soft footsteps echoing in the room and I let her go, standing still and just trying to breathe.
She just needs time. The door closes behind her and I try to move, but I can’t. She safe worded me. She left me.
She just needs time. I take in a ragged breath.
I knew that her uncle’s death would affect her. I want to be there for her. I know what she needs.
But she doesn’t trust me yet. She hasn’t given herself fully to me.
I sink into my chair, hating that I had to let her leave, but knowing I’ll have her back. She can’t leave me. I know she loves me. I fucking love her, too. I’ll give her whatever she wants. I just need her back.
Chapter 28
Dahlia
I can’t believe he did it.
I suck in a deep breath of guilt as I drive to Sandra’s office in my beat-up, piece of shit Mazda. I should be incredibly upset about what Lucian did. I’m still trembling. It’s one thing to have suspicions, it’s another thing entirely to have them confirmed. I wish I’d just lived in denial.
He murdered someone on my behalf. But ever since getting over the initial shock, I feel relieved that the person who caused me so much pain is gone from the world. I’m a horrible fucking person for being happy with his death. I’m torn and conflicted. I need help. I’m not okay.
I suck in another deep breath as I turn off the highway, taking the road that will take me straight to Sandra’s office.
I’m free. Tears prick at my eyes. I hadn’t realized how much pain I was in just knowing that man was still breathing. I feel… relief. And guilt.
And what about Lucian? I don’t know how to feel. But nothing matters without him.
The thought causes a large lump to form in my throat and tears to sting my eyes.
When I step into Sandra’s office, she’s waiting for me in her leather tufted chair, her legs crossed in front of her, her notepad and pen in hand. It’s after hours, but when I called she said she’d be here. She’ll never know how much that means to me. Her hair is loose in her bun and her cream-colored blouse is a bit wrinkled from being worn all day, but she’s here for me.
“Dahlia,” she greets me warmly with a gentle smile. She gestures at the couch across from her. “Please, have a seat.”
“Thank you,” I say softly, feeling nervousness start to set in, and trembling slightly. Barefoot, I walk over and sink onto the couch, pulling my legs up under me, sucking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly.
“Now, would you like to tell me what’s bothering you?” Sandra asks me when I’m fully seated, her soft voice soothing the turmoil that’s roiling beneath the surface. Her pale blue eyes focus on me behind her glasses.
I open my mouth to speak, but then close it when I realize something critical I missed on the way over. I can’t tell her anything that will incriminate Lucian, so I’m going to have to be very careful talking about my uncle’s death. I sit there for a moment, my mind racing on what I could safely disclose. I run my hand over my face, hating this and hating everything.