“Dumb ass,” she says. For the first time in her life, she’s called me a dumb ass. “She does deserve better.”
I don’t even know what to say to any of this. There are so many things I want to say, but all of them lead to the same thing. I’m not the man for her, and my father is right. She deserves all that and more. She deserves a man who’ll make her smile. She deserves a man who will hold her at night and wake her up with coffee in bed. She deserves to have a whole house full of children, and just the thought of her having a child with someone else cuts me to the core. Especially knowing that I can’t give her any of that, and that’s what cuts me the most. I shake my head. “You don’t know,” I say, and he just looks at me. “She’s never going to be happy living here on the farm.”
“You ask her that?” my mother asks, and I just look at her.
“She screams high-class city girl,” I say, and then I shake my head.
“You won't know until you ask her,” my father says, and I don’t want to think about it. Right now, I think about the woman who just walked out of my parents’ house and stormed over to mine, and I think about the man who was watching my house.
Instead of answering his question, I turn and storm out of their house. Making my way over to my house, I jog most of the way. “Olivia!” I shout out her name and wait for her to answer me, and after five seconds, when she doesn’t answer me, I call her name again. “Olivia!” I walk toward her bedroom, and I see the door open and the bed made. “Olivia?” I say her name, looking into the room and seeing the bathroom door open. “Olivia,” I say a bit more frantic this time and run to my bedroom, seeing it not touched. My heart sinks when I run upstairs because I know she would never have gone up there after last time. My heart pounds so hard and loud that it’s the only thing I can hear along with my heavy breathing. After I check the whole house, my hands get so clammy and my stomach drops when it finally sinks in that she isn’t here.
I pull out my phone and call Derek, shouting at him when he answers. “Olivia is missing!”
Chapter Nineteen
Olivia
I can still hear his tone in my head while I walk out the door. I push away the hurt feelings that I have. My mother’s voice is coming in loud and clear.
“What did you expect, Olivia? You are nothing but a warm body and arm candy for these men.
No one needs someone smart on their side. They need someone who can make their stocks go up.”
I shake my head and try not to think about it. I try not to let my feelings get hurt, and most importantly, I try not to cry, but the tear comes out before I can fight it back.
It’s almost as if I can see my mother standing in front of me, holding her martini glass and laughing at me.
“Stupid, silly girl.”
I stop halfway to his house at the barn and decide to go see Lady M. I walk into the barn, and I see a couple of the workers who I’ve met over the past three weeks. I smile to a couple of them and then I see that one of them is mucking the stall that Lady M is in. “Hello there,” I say to him, and he looks over at me.
“I’ll be done in a minute,” he says, and I just smile at him.
“Can I help you?” I ask, and he just looks at me. “I used to do this when I was younger,” I say, and he just laughs.
“I can’t see it.” He shakes his head.
“Well, I can’t prove you wrong by standing here and watching.” I grab a pitchfork and loosen up the new shavings he just put down. When it’s all done, he just looks at me. “I’m going to go get her some water,” I say, going over to the hose and twisting it for some water. Then I carry the pail of water back in and pour it in her water dish. I walk over to her and rub her neck. “There you go, my girl,” I whisper, and she just looks at me.
“She doesn’t like anyone,” the guy says and walks out of the stall.
“Now, that isn’t true.” I look at her again. “You’re just selective over who you like.” I’m about to say something else when I hear what sounds like five people storming into the barn. I look around, suddenly frantic, and Lady M must sense him because she lets out a high-pitched neigh. When I finally look out of her stall, I see that all the commotion was caused by Casey, who stands at the door of the stall and glares at me.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asks. Just his tone pisses me off, and even if I wanted to answer him, he doesn’t give me the opportunity. Instead, he just opens the stall and comes in, Lady M stands between us. “I’ve been searching for you.”
“Well, you found me.” As I walk around Lady M and toward the door of the stall, he grabs my arm, and in reflex, I shrug it off. “What’s your problem?”
“My problem,” he hisses out and then advances on me, while I take steps back until my back is pressed up against the wooden stall wall, and I can’t move anymore. “My problem is that I couldn’t find you,” he says, stopping in front of me, and the only thing I can concentrate on is his chest rising and falling. “I’ve been looking for you, everywhere,” he says, almost hissing, as his hands go on the wall beside my head.
“Well, not everywhere.” I try to say it loud, but it comes out more like a mumble.
“Do you know how long two minutes is?” he asks, and I make the mistake of looking up at him. His eyes are so dark, they look black.
“One hundred and twenty seconds,” I answer him, folding my arms over my chest. “Seriously, I don’t know why.”
“One hundred and twenty seconds.” His voice is almost in a whisper now. “Can feel like your whole life when you can’t find someone.”
“Well, you found me,” I say.
“Yeah.” He gets even closer. “I found you.” We stare at each other, and I’m not sure what to say or what to do. He looks like he has so much to say, yet all he can do is look at me. “I found you,” he says again. He bends his head, and I hold my breath and wait for his lips to land on mine. Even though I want to push him away and say no, my mouth itches to have his lips on mine. To feel safe in his arms. “Don’t do it again,” he says right before his lips fall on mine.
My hands travel to his chest, and I could swear he does a huge sigh of relief when he claims my lips. He kisses me almost like it’s the last time he is going to kiss me, and I have to be honest, it always feels like that. Maybe knowing that this thing between us has an expiration date I don’t know of.
“Casey,” I whisper his name breathlessly, and before I can say anything more, the sound of someone clearing their throat makes us look over.
“So you found her,” Billy says, trying not to smile, and my face suddenly gets heated. I’m waiting for him to push away from me, but instead, he brings me closer to him and kisses my head.
“I found her,” he says. Billy just shakes his head, walking away chuckling.
“That is so embarrassing,” I say, putting my forehead down on his chest. His heart is beating as fast as mine.
“It’s not like he caught us naked,” Casey says, his arms hug me tighter than before. “But seriously.” I look up at him. “Don’t do that to me again.”