I turn to face Reade and put a finger to my lips to remind him to be as quiet as he can when we approach a small hole in the back of the convent.
I beat the wall out myself one night in a fit of anger. Mother had caned me for not being in the common room for a meeting she had called for us.
After she verbally abused me, she bent me over the table and laid so many whacks across my bare ass that I couldn’t sit for days.
I used that to make my own little escape hatch. I took the heaviest candelabra I could find from her collection of holy relics and slammed it against the wall over and over until it gave way.
She still hasn’t found my hole, or figured out what became of her piece of metal. I think she suspects, but she knows better than to accuse me at this point.
For the most part, she leaves me be since I rarely come out from beneath the convent. When I do, it’s to gather food and drinks from the weekly food drives she organizes.
No one needs these simple things like we do and yet she gives it all away like we mean nothing to her.
“Any reason we couldn’t have gone through the front door?” he asks me in a loud whisper after I’ve climbed in through the entrance.
“Men aren’t allowed here,” I reply before I hush him up again and walk further into the darkness. “Mother doesn’t like visitors, but I like you and wanted to thank you properly for helping me find my way back.”
Reade chuckles quietly but continues to follow me. My home may not be what he assumes it to be, but it’s mine and Mother can’t take it from me.
I drew myself away from the light a long time ago to ensure the only person I would ever hurt would be myself. When it comes to the pleasure of others, I crawl out of the back wall to gather my props, then come back and store them properly.
Except for one, I think as I shake my head.
“We’re almost there,” I promise him.
“Doesn’t look this big from the outside,” he remarks. I reach a hand back and swat at him when I hear footsteps echoing through the catacombs.
“Go away,” I snap into the darkness, my voice echoing against the walls.
“Maybe I should go, Pally,” he says gently, but I won’t let him.
I need him.
He’s mine.
I blindly reach down and grab one of his hands, push open a door on the left and pull him into the room.
We can get to my room from here, but I had hoped to be able to go straight there without interruption.
“Paloma Grace!”
I cringe as the door slams closed behind us.
“Stay here,” I tell Reade as I let his hand go and pull my hair back into a ponytail. I loop strands of my own hair around it to keep it in place. “Don’t leave me, okay? I promise it’ll be worth it.”
Reade looks absolutely startled and before he has a chance to respond, I push the door open again, and step out into the hallway.
Chapter Seven
“What?” I bark into the darkness.
“Where have you been?”
“I was lost,” I say, placing my hands on my hips.
“And now you’re okay?”
“Yes. A nice man found me, I’m fine.”
“What does he get for being nice to you?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I reply, my shoulders slumping slightly. “But I’ll be good to him.”
“Promise?”
“I promise, okay?” I shout, my angry tenor bouncing off the concrete walls. “Just leave me alone. I have to make sure that he still trusts me.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Because you’re here,” I snarl through grit teeth. “Go away; he needs to cleanse me. I’ve been a bad girl; an unholy, disgusting thing and he’s the only one that can help me.”
“But—”
I don’t listen anymore.
I open the door to the room I left Reade in and then close it firmly behind me, turning the lock so we can’t be followed.
“Is everything okay?”
I blink a few times before I force a smile onto my face.
“It is now that you’re here with me,” I tell him as brightly as I can before I extend a hand toward him.
He lowers his eyes down and I’m half expecting him to rebuff my gesture, but instead he shakes his head, a rueful smile on his face as he slips his hand into mine.
“Then lead the way.”
We continue through door after door until we reach the room I want. The one where I host my customers—the room where this pretty girl does ugly things, and I finally let go of his hand.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, tapping my foot against the floor. I can’t start the stream again until he cleanses me. They deserve better than the failure I presented. Fuck, I hope someone still cares enough to watch.
“Not for food, no.”
I turn around and face him, arching an eyebrow dangerously at his suddenly brazen approach with me.
“For what, then?” So eager to play, so unwilling to see the monster in front of your very own eyes.
“Well, I’m pretty sure you already showed me,” he replies thoughtfully, a smile starting to creep across his lips. “Can’t go around flashing pussy unless you plan on ponying up when the time comes, little girl.”
A breath escapes me.
It sounds something between a strangled gasp and an exhalation of relief.
He’s going to help me after all.
My mind becomes muddled almost as quickly as the breath that left my body. I need props ready because once I’ve given him what he wants, I’ll have to be ready to resume the show.
“Wait here,” I command him quietly.
“Where are you going?” Reade asks curiously.
I smile at him for a moment as I wrap my arms around my body and fight the urge that’s building far too quickly. The one that wants to be cleansed more than anything in the world.
“I have to get some toys.”
Chapter Eight
The cool air that seeps from the freezer is embracing me while I stand and stare at my options. There’s only one that I’m afraid to use because of the size, but I think it’s the one that will impress him the most.
If I want Reade to do a good job, then I’ll have to do one for him as well.
I reach for the largest package in the freezer and drop it into the bag in front of my feet. Cleansing is never about self-doubt, it’s about being able to start over again, and if this is what I need, then it has to be done.
I pull out a few smaller packages, smiling at each dull thump of them landing against each other until I feel like I have enough.
My eyes drift down toward the bag’s contents as I close the freezer door.
For being so patient with me, my customers will get to see a cleansing live as it happens for the first, and hopefully last, time.
When I get back to my showroom, I find Reade leaning against the back wall, hands buried deep in his pockets with a bored look on his face.
“Are you ready?” I ask as the door swings closed behind me.
“I was beginning to think you stood me up,” he replies in a bored tone.
I smile as I haul the bag toward the center of the room, drop it, then go back to lock the door.