“I’m Monica Johnson,” she said.
I froze. I recognized the name thanks to Phoebe.
“She’s my girlfriend,” Hunter volunteered, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he held my gaze through the growing flames.
I swallowed hard. I should’ve realized this was how my day would go. “It’s nice to meet you.” My voice was strong and clear, a small relief.
“You too.” She said the words but there was no warmth in her eyes. She obviously knew who I was and wasn’t happy in the least that I’d invaded what looked to be an intimate affair.
“Sit with me,” Sebastian instructed, as if reading my mind. “I want to hear all about your time away.”
That sounded like pure torture. “Oh, well ... .”
“I insist.” Sebastian’s gaze was pointed. He had no intention of letting me escape. “We have drinks and everything. You need to be reintroduced into our little society.”
I was caught and I knew it. “That sounds great.”
AN HOUR LATER, MOST OF THE DISCOMFORT I’d been feeling upon stumbling across the group had dissipated. Other than Monica, who was determined not to like me, I easily fell into old rhythms with the others. It was almost as if I hadn’t left.
Almost.
“I can’t believe you’re running the funeral home now,” I exclaimed, wide-eyed. I was three beers in and starting to feel the effects. After the previous evening with Alice, drinking probably wasn’t a good idea. My nerves refused to let me relax without liquid courage at the ready, though.
“It’s a good living,” Sebastian protested.
“Yeah, but you have to touch dead bodies.”
He shrugged. “There are worse things. By the way, I have to dress them, too.”
I dissolved into giggles at the thought of him dressing dead bodies. I kept picturing Barbie dolls. It seemed a hilarious notion. “I just ... it’s so gross.” I looked to Hunter for confirmation. “Don’t you think it’s gross?”
He shrugged again. He didn’t exactly look relaxed, but he obviously wasn’t uncomfortable. His girlfriend, on the other hand, clung to his arm as if she expected him to throw himself on the fire in an effort to get closer to me. I did my best to avoid her gaze, even though I recognized that was probably making things worse.
“I’m kind of used to it now,” Hunter supplied. “He’s been doing it for three years on his own. He apprenticed at the funeral home for three years before that.”
I tried to picture Sebastian as an apprentice and shuddered. “Nope. I’m sorry. It’s weird. Who wants to date a guy who touches dead bodies all day?” The question was out of my mouth before I thought better about asking it.
Hunter’s gaze immediately darkened and he sent me a small, almost imperceptible, shake of the head.
“I’m not really in the dating frame of mind these days,” Sebastian said evasively, his eyes going to the fire. “If I ever am in that frame of mind, I would only want someone who accepts me for who I am.”
My heart gave a little ping. I’d always suspected that Sebastian was gay. I’d never come right out and asked him, but there were hints when we were growing up. Coming out in a town as small as Shadow Hills was a daunting prospect. It was full of alpha males who would verbally abuse him, maybe worse. I was sure some already suspected.
I swallowed hard, doing my best to backtrack. “I’m not in a dating mood either,” I offered, willingly opening myself up to ridicule — and speculation — to save Sebastian from embarrassment. “In fact, I’m thinking of becoming a nun. Do they still have that convent out on Grand Traverse Bay?”
Hunter snorted, choking on his beer as he shook his head. “Oh, geez.” He tilted his chin up so he was looking at the stars as he cleared the liquid from his nose. “I forgot you were obsessed with that place when we were younger. You made me drive out there at least once a month to spy on the nuns.”
“Hey, we all wanted to spy on the nuns,” Matt countered. “I was convinced they were really witches in disguise. I mean ... nuns? Who wants to be a nun?”
“I think it’s a noble pursuit,” Monica countered, her eyes flashing as she glanced between Hunter and me. It was obvious she didn’t like trekking through memories to find a safe topic of conversation. “There’s nothing better than being closer to God, right?”
“If you say so.” Sebastian made a face and retrieved two beers from the cooler, handing me one before cracking the tab on another. We were going old school and drinking our Bud Light from cans. “I can think of a million other jobs I would rather do.”
“Like touching dead bodies for a living?” I asked.
He laughed and elbowed my arm. “You need to get over that if you’re going to hang out with me. There’s nothing wrong with working in a funeral home. In fact, it’s one of the few jobs unlikely to be downsized or shipped overseas. People are always going to die.”
“I guess.” He had a point. “Maybe I should’ve gone into the funeral home business. It’s probably preferable to where I ended up.”
“I don’t think you ended up in a bad place,” Hunter argued, somber. “It’s not where you thought you would be at this point in your life, but it’s not as if you’re destitute.”
“And you were on television,” Sebastian enthused. “Who doesn’t want to be on television?”
“Yeah, but because of that everybody knows I had to come back here a failure. I’m right back where I was when I was sixteen.”
“Which is probably the worst thing in the world to you,” Hunter muttered. “Your life sucked back then, right?”
The vitriol in his voice surprised me. “I ... no.” I shook my head, unsure how I was supposed to answer. “I look back on those years as the best in my life. It’s just ... I thought things would be different.” I didn’t know what else to say.
Perhaps sensing trouble, Monica cleared her throat, forcing my gaze to her. “Do you want to leave again?” She looked hopeful. “Are you just back long enough to save money, maybe write another book and then head back out on the road?”
I’d been wondering that myself. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that seemed unlikely. “I don’t know.” I opted for honesty. “I didn’t realize how much I missed Shadow Hills until I came back.” My eyes lingered on Hunter a moment and then moved back to the stars. “I would like to find some balance, maybe live in both worlds, but that’s probably not possible. I think my moment in the sun is over.”
“It’s only over if you let it be over,” Hunter growled. “The Stormy I knew would’ve chased her dream no matter what. You act as if you’ve already given up.”
“Not given up. I think I’m just coming back to reality.”
“You can live your dreams in the real world,” he persisted. “It might not be what you always pictured, but it doesn’t have to be one thing or the other. You can live multiple lives.”
It was a nice thought. “Maybe.” I took a long pull on my beer, working overtime to ignore the dark looks Monica cast in my direction. “Right now, I’m just happy to be back with old friends. Everyone needs to tell me what they’ve been up to. I want to get caught up.”