"Maybe that and my mom working is why I'm as impressed with women's abilities as much as men's when it comes to Buchanan and Willis. I’ve had good examples.
"Anyway, Tessa and I knew that what we had was a forever thing. My senior year I was offered a scholarship for football to a big school, one out of my parents' financial ability." I shrug. "That's why I'm slightly competitive, as Jimmy found out."
Kimbra smiles, shining light through her blue eyes for the first time today.
"But Tessa and I wanted to get married. Our parents, all of them, thought we were too young. Hell, we were. We decided we'd elope if they wouldn't agree. Which is a joke. We had no money, not really. But we had grand plans. So, finally, our parents conceded. Wedding first and then college. Our plans to marry necessitated that I give up my football scholarship, and I was okay with that. I walked away from it. But as two young married people, we learned we'd qualify for assistance, making college still possible. I think that was the reason our parents agreed."
I squeeze Kimbra's hand, but look away. I can't stare at her blue eyes and tell this story. I haven't said it aloud for over fifteen years. "Tessa wanted to be successful like her mom. I guess it was a lot to live up to. Her grades were good, but when I say she was beautiful, I'm not exaggerating.
"The wedding was supposed to be the summer after our high school graduation. My parents offered to allow us to live with them while we attended a local college. In the last quarter of our senior year, this man came to our school. He was a scout for a top modeling agency. Tessa's grades were good, but not great. He told her stories about planes, travel, and money. He offered her dreams that I couldn't."
"Duncan, what happened?"
"I was eighteen years old with my future all mapped out when one day my future disappeared."
"Disappeared?"
I nod, sucking in a breath, recalling her dad's phone call. "Two days after our graduation, her dad woke to a note. Frantic, he called me, sure we'd eloped, but I was as confused as he. The note said that she had to do this."
My voice grows louder. "This. That was all it said. The police were no help. She was eighteen."
"Duncan, you don't have to say any more."
I turn to Kimbra and look her in the eyes. "You called me a player. I know you've heard rumors. Hell, you were there and heard what happened—or almost happened—in the bathroom."
Kimbra nods.
"I created a wall, a fucking ten-foot-thick and one-hundred-foot-high wall." I smile. "That's what the therapist said—the therapist my mom made me see."
"You were so young." Kimbra's voice is soft but gentle, like she doesn't want to take away from my pain, but wants me to hear her.
I shake my head. "Maybe that makes it worse. I wasn't old enough to understand."
When I turn back to her, there are tears in her eyes again.
Using my thumb, I wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Don't cry for me. I don't want that."
"What happened to Tessa?" she asks.
I smile, because if I don't, I'll cry too. "She did it—her this. You've seen her, I'm sure. She uses a stage name, so it's not Tessa any longer. She's done everything from runway shows for the top designers to international perfume and lingerie campaigns. You know those magazines in every waiting room? She's usually in one or two."
"I can't compete with that."
I turn and pull her face toward mine. "Don't ever say that. There's no competition." Holding her steady, I refuse to allow her head to tilt forward, though her eyes do look down. "No, Kimbra. Listen to me. You're beautiful and smart. Tessa nor Scarlett nor anyone else has anything on you."
"I'm sorry," she says. "I know this isn't about me."
"Your hair was styled in a way where it was all piled on your head." I run one hand down her neck. "Your neck was showing, so long and sensual. The dress you wore was gray. I think they call it charcoal; it's darker than gray. Your shoes matched the dress. And around this beautiful throat was a string of white beads. They weren't pearls, but bigger."
Her eyes narrow as she looks back at me. "What are you talking about?"
"The first day you walked into my office. I told you that I remembered you and I did. For the first time that I could remember, I was awestruck. It scared me. I admit it was physical. That gray dress wasn't revealing, but it hugged all the right parts."
I brush my palm against the side of one of her breasts. "I really do love your tits."
"Duncan."
"I'm a man. It's not an excuse. It just is." I take a deep breath. "I decided not to attend the local college Tessa and I had planned to attend together. Instead, I contacted the recruiter at a small college in upstate New York. It was a long shot. He couldn't offer me a scholarship, but if I promised two years of play, the tuition would be adjusted to within my parents' ability to pay. It was away from home, but close enough that my mom could check on me. She was worried that I would do something stupid. I was late to the whole enrollment game and was randomly assigned a roommate."
"Mr. Buchanan?" Kimbra asks.
"How did you know?"
"The company handbook has a biography in there, both of your dossiers. It talks about how you two met your freshman year of college."
My cheeks rise. "Not only beautiful, but you've done your homework too.
"Mike and I met the first day of football practice. I was a little messed up. He thought I was an asset to the team and kept me from doing anything too dumb. My mom loves him like another son. I learned to cope. My mechanism is to block off women emotionally. I only thought of them as physical outlets. They were nothing more than the groupies who wanted to be seen with football players. Even when I stopped playing, I never had problems getting a date or getting sex."
"Duncan..."
"I'm not proud of it, but I never took sex from anyone who didn't offer. It just is. Women throw themselves at me. I use them, but if anyone gets close, I move on."
Kimbra nods. "I see."
"No, damn it, you don't. You're different. You always have been. You've never been like those women."
"I was never the football-girlfriend type," she admits.
I pull her eyes back to mine. "No. You're not. You're so much more. I waited for you to throw yourself at me. That's the way my gamebook works. I'm a receiver, not the quarterback."
"I-I..." Kimbra swallows as she looks deep into my eyes.
"For nearly three years I've waited. You never did. That day when you made me this deal, when you gave me the opportunity to be your plus-one, I seized it. Kimbra, I enjoyed this weekend. I don't want it to ruin what we have at work."
Her smile is forced. "What do we have? I never really thought you noticed me."
"If you've listened to me at all, you know that I have. I've noticed and watched. You didn't blackmail me into this deal: I seized it. I've wanted you since that day nearly three years ago."
Kimbra turns back to the window. "I guess," she says softly, "I could be happy for that, or realize that I gave you the opportunity to add another notch—"