She sighed and reached for him, bringing his hand to her mouth so she could kiss his palm. Then, she held his hand between her own. “Ye go a wee bit mad when ye awaken with me on top of ye. It’s happened twice. And it’s plain ye prefer to be the rider rather than the mount. Can ye tell me why, English?”
He withdrew. She shifted so she could see his face, but he’d turned away to stare out at the rain.
“I’ve told ye everythin’ about my life,” she said. “The parts I love, the parts I hate, even the parts I didnae think ye’d believe. How Finlay and I would play ghostie tricks on the villagers and how Broderick would sing to me in Gaelic when I fell ill. How Grisel made me want to crawl into the grave with my mam once or twice.”
She watched his throat ripple and his muscles tense. He was fighting the same rage he’d shown when she’d first told him about the spitting and taunts—all the small cruelties she’d endured until she’d learned how to avoid them.
“Do ye think I willnae understand?”
“I think you’ll view me differently.”
“Nah. I ken who ye are, John Huxley. Even if ye did lie about bein’ a lord.”
Slowly, as the rain pattered on the roof and the outskirts of Inverness became the town of Inverness, his shoulders lost some of their tension. His fists loosened. His hand slid over hers.
His other hand raked through his hair. “You really wish to hear this, do you?”
“I really do.”
“Fine.” His lips paled with tension. “She was a governess. Came from an old but impoverished bloodline. My parents hired her to instruct my sisters when I was sixteen.” His right hand, she noticed, was gripping the seat beside his leg as though to keep himself in check. “I was home from Eton. The first week, she attempted to flirt with me, but my interests lay elsewhere at the time.”
“She was ugly, then.”
“No, she was pretty enough. Merely less fetching than the village barmaid who’d captured my fancy.”
“Did the barmaid have large bosoms?”
“I don’t wish to discuss it.”
“Aye, she did. This explains a great deal, English. Mayhap ye’d like me to wear a barmaid’s dress, hmm?” She waggled her brows. “I could serve ye whisky, and ye could act very lordly.”
He didn’t laugh, but the tension around his mouth and eyes eased, which had been her aim. “The governess sought me out numerous times, approaching me in empty corridors and pretending to accidentally find me alone in the library. She hinted that she’d been meant for a higher station in life, that she’d let me do as I liked to her if she knew we would be wed. That sort of thing.”
Annie sensed where this was going and had to picture serene waterfalls to keep her temper. “Bold of her. But ye werenae interested.”
“No.”
“And she wasnae pleased with that answer.”
Several heartbeats passed while he stared down at her with a bleak expression. “No.”
Annie didn’t want to ask. “What did she do?”
“I was asleep. When I awakened, she was … astride me. Attempting to impregnate herself.”
She swallowed hard, nausea and fury building. “Without yer bein’ conscious.”
He nodded. “At a minimum, she hoped I would feel obligated to support her and her child for the rest of her life. But she knew my family. Knew there was a good chance I would be forced to marry her for honor’s sake. Fortunately, one of our loyal maids had learned of the governess’s scheme and alerted my father. Papa and the maid entered my bedchamber before the deed was … finalized. I woke to find the governess atop me and my father shouting.”
Annie told herself to breathe, though it was difficult when her chest felt so painfully tight. “She tried to take what ye wouldnae give her willingly. So that she might be elevated. By a title.”
His mouth twisted. “Some would suggest a young man should find pleasure in such a scenario.”
Her temper, already at the edge of combustion, went dark. “And I’d suggest those daft bastards should shut their ignorant bluidy mouths.”
His brows arched in surprise.
She couldn’t bear it any longer. Bracing her hand on his shoulder, she rose and pivoted then knelt beside him on the seat, wrapped her arms around his neck, and held him as tightly as she could. “She tried to trap ye while ye slept. For God’s sake, ye were sixteen. Naught more than a lad.” Her eyes began to fill, and she blinked faster to stop them from leaking. “How old was she?”
He stroked her back. “Six-and-twenty.”
“I want to kill her. Tell me her name.”
“It’s not important.”
She gripped his shoulders then drew back to hold his gaze and whisper fiercely, “It’s damned important to me, English.”
Multi-hued eyes that had been stark while telling his story slowly warmed and softened. “I’ve only ever spoken of this with two other people, you know. My father, who dismissed the governess that very night. And Robert.” His hands roamed her waist and hips before one came up to brush her cheek, as though he needed the contact for comfort. “I always assumed my reaction was … strange. A man’s body at that age is a bit ungovernable, his desires far from discriminating. But when I awakened and saw her …” He sighed and drew her closer. “I cannot explain it. My skin began crawling. I felt smothered and sick.” His gaze dropped briefly while she stroked his jaw with her knuckles. “After my father tossed her out, when I realized what she’d intended, I … I vomited.” He looked at her, and for a moment, she could see a boy’s pain. “I didn’t want her to do what she did, Annie.”
“I ken,” she answered, holding his face between her hands. “I ken it well.”
A breath shuddered in his chest then whooshed out in a sigh. “At any rate, a number of years later, I happened upon a cousin of hers. He told me she’d died. Apparently, after being dismissed, she returned to London, where she made similar attempts to entrap an heir to a coal fortune. The heir was fifteen at the time. His father thrashed her and threw her out into the street. She became a baronet’s mistress for a short time. Then she fell into prostitution and eventually perished whilst trying to rid herself of the pox by drinking arsenic.”
“I hate her,” Annie gritted. “I’m glad she’s dead. She deserved worse.”
A smile touched his lips. “Worse than pox and arsenic?”
“She killed somethin’ innocent in ye. Somethin’ she hadnae any right to touch. So, aye. Worse.”
His smile grew. “My fierce Highland lass.”
She kissed him tenderly. “If we werenae almost at Mrs. Baird’s shop, I’d show ye how fierce I can be.” Another kiss. “Alas, we’ll have to play lord and barmaid a wee bit later.”
Several hours and a great deal of shopping later, the coach pulled up to the constable’s office. Her husband eyed the downpour before opening the carriage door. He advised her to wait in the coach.