Ben looked up and stared at me. “Another major breakthrough on the program, folks. Mark down this date in your history books. Lori agrees with me. Can you say that again slowly?”
I stifled a laugh. “I. Agree. With. You.”
“Ahh. Music to my ears. So, lovely Lori, what should Jeremy do about this?”
Lovely Lori?
Ben thought that I was lovely?
Since when?
Since yesterday?
It was obvious something shifted in our relationship during our lunch together, and the walk to La Jolla Cove afterward. I could see it in Ben’s eyes, in his body language, no doubt about it.
He was attracted to me.
I knew that look.
And I would be lying if I said I hadn’t felt something as well. Surprisingly, out of nowhere I was attracted to him, although I would take that information to the grave with me before telling that to Ben or Grandma Joyce.
“Earth to Lori? Come in.” Ben laughed. “Maybe I should start calling you the Queen of Dead Air.”
“Sorry!” I said a little too loudly.
“No worries. Give Jeremy your two cents on his situation.”
“Right . . . Jeremy, you definitely need to chat with your wife about this and ask her why she doesn’t defend you when her family criticizes you. Something is definitely going on there. In my mind, there are only two possible reasons for her behavior. One, she values her family more than she values you. Or number two, she agrees with everything they’re saying.”
Ben winced. “Ouch. Looks like no matter how you slice it, you’ve got some serious relationship problems that need to be addressed. Thanks for the call and good luck.” Ben disconnected the call and answered the next one. “Charlotte is on line two. Welcome to the program.”
“Hello, Dr. Tough Love! I love you so much! I listen to you every single morning.”
Ben laughed. “I love you, too. How can we help you, Charlotte?”
I sat up, thinking Charlotte sounded exactly like my—
“You can call me Grandma Joyce, actually. Lori is my granddaughter.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
What was my grandma up to?
I didn’t trust her.
I loved her, of course, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of being up to no good.
“The Grandma Joyce?” Ben said.
“In the flesh! Well, in your ear, at least.”
Ben chuckled. “What a pleasure to have you on the show. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Well, if it came from my granddaughter’s mouth, you know it’s true! Speaking of that, I’m sorry I lied to your producer about my name, but I wanted to surprise Lori.”
“That’s quite all right, Joyce. You did it with the best of intentions. Are you pleasantly surprised, Lori?”
I sighed. “Define pleasantly.”
Grandma Joyce laughed. “See that right there? That is the family spunk. We’ve all got it. I’m sure you noticed that when you two went on your date yesterday.”
“It wasn’t a date,” Ben and I said at the same time.
“Why not? You two have a lot in common, plus you’re both gorgeous. Hey, Dr. Tough Love, did you know that my adorable granddaughter is single?”
“Grandma, please!”
“Yes, I think half the world knows,” Ben joked.
I crossed my arms. “Not funny.”
“Well, you’re single and she’s single,” Grandma Joyce said. “I think we can fix that in a jiffy, if you know what I mean.”
I adjusted the microphone. “Grandma, this isn’t The Bachelor or a place for chit-chat and gossip. We’re trying to help people with real relationship problems.”
“Okay then—I’ve got a problem.”
“Oh yeah?” Ben said.
I waved my finger at him to not take the bait from Grandma Joyce, but he ignored me.
“Tell us what’s going on, Joyce. How can we be of assistance?”
“Well, there’s a certain female member of my family whose name rhymes with story and her love life is really gory.”
I shook my head. “Another person who likes to rhyme.”
“Anyway, she doesn’t know how to pick men well.”
“I give you permission to hang up on my grandma.”
“Tell me more about this person, Joyce.” Ben ignored me and grinned. “She sounds familiar. Is she stubborn?”
“Ha! Very stubborn. She needs someone like you around to keep her in line when her confidence is tipping the scales past her reality.”
“Keep going.”
“Gladly! I have the most wonderful granddaughter in the world, with some amazing qualities, but she picks tomatoes better than she picks her men. I think she deserves someone special. And you are one-heck-of-a special person, too. Just sayin’.”
“Well, thank you very much,” Ben said.
“Okay!” I said. “Thanks for calling, Grandma.”
“I saw the photo of you two in La Jolla,” Grandma Joyce said, ignoring me. “The one you posted on Instagram? So lovely.”
It was no use. I would just need to let her get this out of her system, but I would surely give her a piece of my mind when I saw her tomorrow.
“I like your style because you tell it like it is and don’t pull any punches. Can you watch over her for me?”
Ben winked at me. “Of course.”
“And if you want a good laugh, I can share some butt-naked photos of her as an infant.”
I covered my face with my hands. “Grandma, please.”
“Fine. I’ll leave you two to your show. Can you play a song for me and dedicate it?”
Ben shook his head. “As much as I think that you are a true delight, Joyce, why don’t we just end the call on a positive note by saying goodbye and skipping the silly love song?”
I sat up, alert now. “What’s wrong, Mr. Tough Stuff? Can’t handle the heat?”
“Of course, he can handle the heat,” Grandma Joyce said. “If he can handle you, he can handle anything. Isn’t that right?”
Ben hesitated. “Sure. Bring it on.”
“Great! I want you to play ‘Love the One You’re With’ by Stephen Stills and I dedicate it to the two of you.”
“No way, Grandma. Not going to happen.”
Ben smirked. “What’s wrong? Can’t handle the heat?”
Grandma Joyce laughed. “You tell her!”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not playing that song.”
“Fine. I will then. Thanks for calling, Joyce. I hope to meet you in person and give you a big hug.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
Ben said goodbye to Grandma Joyce and played the song. He cranked up the volume in the studio and sang along.
I slipped off my headphones and yelled above the music. “I thought you said you didn’t like silly love songs.”
Ben pointed to the speakers. “This song is not silly. It’s a classic. Play more songs like this one and I will be a happy man.”
I shook my head. “Dream on.”
The truth was that I loved the song. What was bugging me was that my grandma called into the show and tried to get involved in my love life. I didn’t need her help. And what made matters worse was when she dedicated that song to me and Ben and said we should be together.