Fuck, they’re winning already.
Mila headed to the door, lingering by it for a long moment. “I’m staying, you know? There’s no flights coming out this way from New York because they’ve all been grounded. So my parents can’t come for me.”
I nodded, giving her a genuine smile, a hardened piece of my heart softening at her words. At least I wouldn’t be totally alone all of the time.
She stepped out of the room and I forced myself to my feet a beat later, grabbing a towel and heading for the shower. It was pretty empty, but the few girls in there ran out of the room screaming Plague!
I gritted my jaw, stepping into one of the shower units. Well at least I can have the whole bathroom to myself, bitches.
I was soon dressed for the day with my makeup and hair done, working hard to not only look put together but to look fucking awesome. My eyeliner made my bright blue eyes pop and you couldn’t even seen a glimmer of that girl who’d stood on the beach last night. At least there was one good thing about psychological wounds. You couldn’t see them on the outside.
I was running late again, but there was one more thing I needed to do before I faced down the world.
I headed to my nightstand, taking out a sheaf of paper and grabbing a pen, pulling off the cap with my teeth.
Dear Jessica,
Things got bad. Those boys I mentioned? Well they’re the devil incarnate.
Last night, they pushed and pushed until I gave in to them. I was so scared, Jess. And now I’m so fucking ashamed. Because you wouldn’t have let them do it, would you? You wouldn’t have agreed. And you’d be so disappointed with me now.
I stopped writing as a fat tear dropped onto the page. I hastily wiped it away but it smeared some of the ink and I sighed as I carried on.
I wish you were here. No, scrap that. If I’m wishing for stuff, I wish I was with you. And Dad…
Did you hear about Dad? You don’t believe those lies about him either, right?
That’s why everyone hates me, Jess. But if he could, he’d tell us to fight our enemies without fear. That fear is just a tool to aid our survival. And maybe he’s right. Maybe I’ll find a way to wield it, Jess. But right now, I feel so lost. And so alone. I’d give anything to run away this time. I’d trade every other awkward moment I’d ever had to escape this one. Maybe I’m paying the price for all of that avoided shit at once?
I guess nothing in life is free.
Love you Jess. And I miss you more than ever.
Tatty x
I folded up the letter, dropping to the floor and pulling my backpack out from under the bed. I placed it carefully into the pocket at the back and as I took my hand out of the bag, my fingers grazed the gun Dad had given me. I wet my mouth as I took it into my grip for a moment, feeling the solid, comforting weight of it in my palm. The Night Keepers probably felt like this constantly. All powerful, unstoppable. But they didn’t need guns to feel this way when they embodied a loaded weapon all on their own.
I pushed it back into the depths of my bag and my fingers hooked on the self-defence keychain my dad had given me as a going away gift. I blew out a laugh as I took it into my palm. The face of a black metal cat hung from it with huge eyes which I could slide my middle and index finger though. The pointed ears were sharp enough to pierce flesh when it was used as a weapon.
I pushed the bag back under my bed, standing and hooking the chain onto my room key. I didn’t plan on stabbing any students on campus, no matter how appealing the idea was for some assholes in particular, but it was a reminder of my dad. And the fact that innocent-looking things could be deadly.
With that little piece of him in my palm, I headed out of my room with more confidence. I strapped on my mask and buried my pain deep, deep inside me where no one could find it unless they dug it out with a spade.
The air was icily cool outside, the storm having left a beautiful, crisp blue sky in its wake. I breathed in the fresh air and drew comfort in the fact that no matter how hard a storm raged, it always blew itself out eventually.
It wasn’t long before I reached the Redwood Dining Hall, clenching my jaw as I walked inside.
Eyes swung to me and I ignored them as usual, fixing my gaze on the Unspeakables. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to make it past the Night Keepers today without being forced to acknowledge them, but I was gonna make them call my name if they wanted something.
“Plague!” Blake hollered predictably and I turned to him, raising my brows and waiting for him to give me an actual command. If he wanted me to come over there, then he was gonna have to spell it out.
“Here, now,” Saint growled before Blake said another word.
I strode towards them at a snail’s pace, taking in the three fuckwits who now laid a claim to me. I scanned them as they continued to eat their breakfasts. You could tell a lot from the way a person ate. Blake poked at his obviously stone cold pancakes, gazing at me with an emotional kind of hatred blazing in his dark green eyes. Saint sliced everything up on his plate like it had personally insulted his mother and bitch slapped his puppy across the room. Although, if I ever saw that guy with a puppy, I’d be calling animal services faster than a snow cone melting in hell. Kyan was eating his greasy cooked breakfast with just a fork, but looked like he was about to abandon it in favour of using his hands and teeth.
There were three words which described each of them right now: Emotion. Control. Disregard.
I halted in front of their table, ignoring the violent pounding of my heart as I gave them my least-fucks-given expression. They could own me all they liked, but I was determined to never let them see me break again.
“Well? What the fuck do you have to say?” Saint demanded and I frowned, coming up short.
“Um…you look like a very well dressed little Night Keeper today, oh holy one?” I mocked and his eyes flashed with fury.
He rose from his seat, his freaking knife in his grip. “You were supposed to be waiting at The Temple at six am this morning,” he snarled. “You’ve already broken the fucking rules.”
“What?” I balked. “Unless you sent me a psychic message – which, trust me, I’m sure your freaky psycho mind is capable of doing – I was never told to be there at six am. And you said I only had to do what I was told, so…” I shrugged innocently and Kyan cleared his throat.
“Er, dude?” He looked to Saint. “I totally forgot to tell her about that. My bad.”
Saint’s jaw ticked as he glared at his friend and a laugh got caught in the back of my throat. It managed to escape and Saint shot me daggers, seeming unsure of who to aim his rage at.
My gaze skipped to Kyan and for a moment I remembered straddling him in the hot tub, the way he’d groaned as I washed his body. He shot me a wink while the others weren’t looking and my lips parted. Did he purposefully save my ass from the six am bullshit?
“Fucking idiot,” Blake muttered and I noticed he was stabbing at his food as he narrowed his eyes at me. I tried not to be rattled by that, but for a second he looked scarier than Saint. Like he wanted to be driving that blade into me.
“Get on your knees,” Saint suddenly demanded of me, loud enough for the entire room to here.
Girlish giggles reached me from the table just behind me and my cheeks flushed hot as I stared at Saint. I couldn’t do it. My knees physically would not fucking bend for this asshole.