Ignoring my silent plea for peace, Jasik says, “And you expect us to simply trust you?”
“Do what you like,” Will says. “I’m here for her.”
“Will,” I say sharply, and he smirks at me.
I glance at Jasik, and something flashes behind his crimson irises. I see anger and pain and just a hint of jealousy. It breaks my heart to see him so conflicted simply because of a misunderstanding.
“We need to get home,” Malik says. He rests a hand on Jasik’s shoulder, and instantly, his brother is soothed. The anger in his eyes is replaced by mistrust, and he turns away from me.
The others begin their retreat, not turning away from Will as they walk backward toward home. I wonder if they’ll walk the entire way like this, forever fearing to turn their backs on a possible enemy.
“Ava, let’s go,” Malik says. It’s an order, and I don’t particularly care for it.
I hesitate, and I’ve never heard silence quite this loud. It’s earth-shattering enough for the others to break their concentration and look at me. Frozen in time among the icy blue woods, I am forced to choose, but I can’t. I literally cannot move. My limbs are failing me; my brain is mush. I remain still, silent.
If I leave with Jasik, I risk never seeing Will again.
If I leave with Will, I will surely lose Jasik.
Darting my gaze between my two futures, I stand at a crossroads. I know I cannot stay here, for it is nearly daybreak. I explain this to my legs, but they still do not move. I’m frozen in place, stuck in a pit of darkness and despair. Inside, I beg for a way out, for a way not to choose. But even I know this is no fairy tale. The undead don’t get a happily ever after.
Every second that passes, I sink a little deeper into the snow. With each free-falling flake, I’m buried more, and I welcome it. Beneath this white blanket, I can escape the hardship of the world. It embraces me in its cool caress, and even if only for a moment, I pretend life is good.
Everything is perfect.
Until it’s not.
“Ava, let’s go home,” Malik says, repeating himself.
I glance at Will, and with my eyes, I beg him to come with, to join us, if only for tonight. I plead with him, silently promising things I have no right to promise. I offer him refuge with my nest, even though I know he will refuse.
Understanding my pleas, he smiles but shakes his head and says, “I don’t belong with them.”
Silently, I hear his final words—the ones he doesn’t dare speak aloud.
And neither do you.
My heart falls from my chest and sinks into the ground. That’s where I leave it. It will remain there—cold, lifeless, waiting for some promised future that will never come to pass. Against everything I feel to be true and right, I make a decision to remain in the dark. Forever.
When I turn away to join the others, I feel Will’s gaze at my back. It burns through my skin, penetrating deep into my soul. Leaving Will in the lifeless, dark woods feels like a betrayal to everything I am, to everything I could become. He might be the only creature on this planet who completely understands me. He knows my needs, my desires, my faults, and my fears—because he experiences them too. He doesn’t judge my emotions or question my motives. He knows me…for me. He knows the hybrid better than even my sire.
The moment the tiny hairs on my body rest, I know he’s gone. I glance over my shoulder, knowing he won’t be there but hoping to still see him staring as I retreat.
The emptiness of the surrounding woods is like a dagger to my heart.
Chapter Ten
There’s something about the flutter of snow when it blows in the breeze. Swirling through the air, it coats the earth, hiding evidence of what lies beneath. Hardened by time, what was once soft and yielding is now frozen in place. I kick at the fluff, scraping my boot against the icy, frigid remains of an earlier snowfall.
Straight ahead, the manor towers over me. Passing the wrought-iron gate, I eye it carefully. From the outside, it seems eerily quiet. I assume the other vampires have already made their way to their rooms, awaiting the sunrise.
The footfalls of my fellow hunters echo all around me. The sound radiates through the icy tundra Darkhaven has become and tickles the soles of my feet.
Scanning our surroundings, I see nothing but splashes of frost. It coats the manor. With sharp edges and delicate overhangs, the Victorian architecture stands out in this small, idyllic village. No other house is quite as breathtaking. No other house is home to a nest of vampires either. If I’m forsaken from yet another home, I really will have to leave Darkhaven.
I glance at my sire, who has yet to look me in the eye since I turned my back on Will. Jasik believes I’ve been dishonest. He thinks I’ve been orchestrating secret rendezvous with a vampire I don’t truly know. This isn’t the case, and eventually I’ll be able to explain what really happened in the woods tonight—from meeting Will to fighting the witches. Until then, I must face their wrath.
I glance at the others. They too refuse to look my way. No one is happy with me, and I fear what Amicia will say when she finds out. I thought they’d be happy to discover the existence of another hybrid. Will doesn’t just provide answers to far too many unanswered questions—he’s also the key to everything I will become. He knows the darkness in me and the magic nestled there. He knows what will happen when it consumes me. He knows what I should fear and what I should protect. Why can’t the others see him as an asset?
I eye the second story, easily finding the window to my bedroom, but something else catches my attention. A vampire watches our approach. Her crimson gaze penetrates deep into my soul, as if she already knows about my betrayal. Her hair is long, thick, and black as night. Her skin is pale and luminescent in the moonlight.
When she notices me staring at her, she quickly glances away, pretending to fidget with the drapes. She adjusts the shades, closing them so no light can penetrate the room while she slumbers. In the blink of an eye, she’s gone. No longer in view, she retreats inside the manor, where so many others await our return.
A stone path leads me toward the manor’s front door. Each slab of rock is slick from the recently fallen snow, but I navigate them with conditioned ease. I consider how long I’ve been here. It’s been long enough to call this place home but short enough to still question my place within the nest. When I first arrived, Amicia warned me that even one mistake will cost me her loyalty. Since then, I have tried to prove myself to her, to the others. I want to be here. Leaving Will in the dark must prove that to them.
Slowly, I ascend the steps of the wraparound front porch. When I reach the top step, I glide my fingertips over the frosted head of a gargoyle. I can’t even walk inside the house without greeting our protector. His stone head is cold and rough, sending shivers down my arms.
The solid oak door is stained dark. It matches the rest of the wood inside the manor. Large bay windows are to the right of the front door. With stained-glass windows, the moonlight sends a rush of cool gray splashes of light into the parlor. With the room lit, I see the bookshelves, the fireplace aflame, and the tiny table with a half-played game of chess, which now gathers dust.
The front porch wraps around the left side of the manor. It cascades almost completely to the backyard, ending at a comfortable gliding porch swing. I imagine sitting there, enjoying the silence, the darkness, the calm.