Part of me can’t believe I’m here. Dressed in a little black dress, surrounded by Seattle’s hockey elite and their plus-ones. I feel a little strange, like I’m invading a circle of friends I have no right to. Maybe it’s because these are Jason’s teammates, and their wives and fiancées. And since I’m no longer tied to Jason, I forfeited the right to be part of this group. But here they are, accepting me with kind smiles and warm hugs, and I’m grateful. I don’t feel quite so alone.
When Grant asked me to attend as his date, I gave him a confused look. Then he stammered out something about driving separately, and I assumed he meant as friends. Still, I’m glad he invited me. The gala is being put on as a benefit for domestic violence—to provide aid for the women’s shelter—and so, of course I wanted to come.
And while I totally didn’t plan on telling anyone about my pregnancy tonight, I’m kind of relieved that I did. I’m glad that my big secret is out, especially because of how gracious they all were. Of course, I didn’t miss the way some of Grant’s teammates eyes had widened in shock, looking anywhere but directly at me. Awkward moment aside, the women were all supportive—asking me about a thousand questions I didn’t have the answers to.
I guess I need to educate myself on a whole host of new topics, everything from birthing methods to vaccines to baby carriers. I had no idea becoming a mom would require an entire re-education. I figured I’d just wing it. Since Becca is pregnant too, a few months further along than I am, maybe I can lean on her for support. Lord knows I’ll need it.
When Grant and Jordie venture over to the bar to order a drink, I can’t help but notice their heads turned together, like they’re discussing something serious in low tones. I wonder if I’m the topic of conversation. That thought sends a low buzz of awareness thrumming through me.
“So, what hospital are you going to deliver at?” Becca asks, smiling sweetly at me.
“Oh, I’m not sure.” I smile back.
She nods and launches into a freaking TED talk about the different choices of hospitals in this city. Clearly, she’s done her research. I hear the word NICU and plan to Google it as soon as I get home.
As Becca chatters on, her humongous man candy of a husband stalks over and plants a kiss on the top of her head. She flashes him a sweet look and keeps right on talking.
When I’m ready to venture into the dating scene again, I’d love to have a stable, loving relationship like she’s found with Owen. I know Becca had some trauma in her past. Know she was sexually assaulted, and that together, she and Owen had to work through a lot of her intimacy issues. Elise got drunk one time and overshared.
As I gaze at Becca, glowing with her pregnancy, I know she deserves all the good things in life. And I do too. It’s just . . . I’m not in a place where I’m ready for them, if that makes sense.
I still have some healing I need to do. One thing at a time. I need to be happy on my own first, before I can give part of myself to another person. Maybe that sounds weird, but it’s the truth.
But even if I’m not ready for something serious, I am grateful for Grant’s presence in my life. Earlier, when he got me the drink I was craving—grapefruit juice—my heart squeezed inside my chest.
“Okay, enough baby talk,” Elise says dramatically, raising her brows at Becca.
“Fine.” Becca chuckles, flashing me an apologetic look. “I get carried away.”
“No worries,” I say with a smile.
My attention is grabbed by an older guy stopping at the table to talk to Grant. Grant rises from his chair and follows the man to the other side of the room, where he begins shaking hands and chatting with an older couple. I assume they’re big donors for tonight’s event, or something.
Elise’s gaze follows Grant across the room too, and I’m kind of relieved, because it means I won’t be caught ogling. He looks damn good in a classic black tuxedo. His hair is neatly combed and his defined jawline is clean-shaven without a trace of the dark stubble I’ve gotten used to.
“Damn. Grant really fills out that tux,” she murmurs under her breath.
Becca and I both chuckle.
“Grant? Oh, he’s hot as fuck,” Sara says, finally joining the conversation now that it’s no longer baby-dominated.
My gaze wanders the length of him. Powerful legs encased in his dress slacks. A tailored jacket that hugs his wide shoulders and arms before tapering at his trim waist. Adam’s apple peeking out above his shirt collar. That full mouth that I’ve fantasized about kissing more than once . . .
“He’ll definitely make some lucky girl very happy one day,” Becca says with a nod.
Elise makes a noise of agreement. “I heard he doesn’t date, though. Wonder why that is . . .”
Sara shrugs. “Not a clue. But it’s a damn shame, because a body like that was built for riding.”
The girls erupt into giggles as Sara’s fiancé, Teddy, pauses beside us, making a tsking sound.
“Hey now,” he says, scolding us, but his expression is playful.
The conversation moves on to another topic, but my gaze is still on Grant.
Grant. He’s like a caramel—hard on the outside, and gooey on the inside. And I know how hot things get when he melts . . .
20
* * *
Going Deep
Grant
Tonight’s gala has been a major success. I’ve schmoozed with donors, posed for selfies, and signed a few autographs, but I haven’t spent much time with Ana, and it’s time to rectify that. When Elise and Becca rise to go to the restroom, I reach down and pull Ana’s chair closer to mine.
“Hey, you.” I grin at her.
“Hey, stranger.” She smiles back. Maybe it’s her smile, or maybe it’s the gin and tonic, but something inside me is feeling more at ease than before.
“Haven’t seen much of you lately. How’s Hobbes holding up? I’ll bet he misses me.”
She laughs. “Oh, he totally does. You should see him come five o’clock when you usually get home from the gym. He’s beside himself when you don’t come in.”
I shake my head at the thought. Who knew I’d bond with her dog? “Everything else going okay? You haven’t been getting sick anymore, have you?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve been feeling good. Just a little tired. Which I read is normal.”
I nod. “I read that too. Your body needs the extra sleep. You’re growing a human in there.”
She sighs, a slight grin on her lips. “That’s what they tell me.”
“Did you get the vitamins I left for you?”
A smile overtakes her face. “I did. Thank you.”
As she asks me about the trip to Canada, dinner is served. I fill her in on our two not-so-exciting losses as we eat chicken and potatoes and asparagus, and the rest of the team makes small talk. I’m pleased to see Ana eat every bite on her plate. She even helps herself to an extra roll from the bread basket.
The evening passes with a silent auction, dancing, and a whole lot of sexual tension. Actually, that last one might be just me. Because earlier, when Ana danced with me, I had a hard time keeping my body from reacting. But then she smiled when Jordie cut in, dancing with him with the same polite look she’d given me during our dance.