We can’t look away from each other. Her hand caresses my face, her thumb dragging across my mouth before I pull it inside and suck, the rhythm matching the throbbing of my dick that’s still buried so deep within her. Pulling her free of my mouth, I wrap one hand under her ass, the other behind her head. As gently as I can, I rock us up and get my legs under me so I can maneuver us over onto her back.
We’re so close now with her long legs wrapped around my waist, her breasts pressed into my chest, her breath on my neck. I drive into her with long, powerful strokes that blur my vision. I’ve never felt anything like it and I can’t resist setting a stronger pace than before. Soon, I’m tilting her hips with the hand under her ass to get myself in deeper.
She’s trembling underneath me now, I can feel it. “Let it come again, beautiful,” I rasp in her ear. “I want to feel it.”
Her knees slide up my chest to grip my ribs, opening herself up more for me. “That’s it,” I grind out, feeling like I’m pushing into her very soul. “Just like that.”
I’m almost there, barely hanging on when she starts chanting almost unintelligibly, “Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmmmnnnnnnnn.”
She comes again and everything in me lets go, all of it. Everything is right with the world. Holy shit. Everyfuckingthing. I come and come and come until I’m light-headed and completely wrung out.
When I finally come back to my senses, I find that while I’m not completely squashing her, I’ve only got myself propped up on one side with my other hand still lodged under her ass. She doesn’t seem to mind at all though. She’s practically comatose, loose limbed and heavy lidded, her lips caught in a tremulous smile that registers somewhere between awe and fulfillment.
Her disapproval when I start disentangling our limbs has me leaning in to kiss her sweet lips. “You’re okay,” I whisper to her before I get off the bed. “I’ll be right back.” I find a trashcan in the corner for the condom and then I work on getting us both under the covers.
This time it’s her that conks out first. With my arms around her, satisfaction hums in my chest in a steady, comforting timbre. The way she responds to me is something I could definitely get used to. The memory of her pulsing around me has a too-soon, semi-painful surge of arousal stirring my dick. Down boy, I think wryly. There’s plenty of time for that.
I float in and out of a light sleep until she shifts slightly and brings me more fully awake. I’m annoyed when the hamster wheel in my head starts spinning like it usually does when everything is quiet. Soon a sliver of worry starts to poke at me. I do my best to push it away, to concentrate on Opal’s soft warmth next to me, but soon my sensible, pragmatic self really pushes to take over.
What am I doing?
Ellie isn’t some random girl that I’m hooking up with. This isn’t fuck-buddy stuff. Any idiot, including myself, can tell the difference between this and the kind of fun I sometimes have with Juanita. I don’t just casually like Ellie, and I don’t think she just casually likes me.
Shit, what am I doing?
I can’t fall in love with anyone, let alone someone like Ellie. She’s obviously all wrong for me. I need a woman who understands the meaning of family, not a recovering alcoholic who’s riding the poverty line. She’d probably turn out to be just another person I’d have to take care of. And god knows I’m officially maxed out on dependents.
Carefully, doing my best not to wake her, I get up to find my clothes which are scattered all over the apartment. Once I’m dressed, I go back into her room. Seeing her peaceful and so lovely in sleep has every reason I had for getting out of her bed fading away.
Am I really not going to see her again? My face pinches with disgust. Of course I’m going to see her again.
Am I really going to skulk out of her apartment without saying goodbye? I’m not skulking out, I’m letting her sleep.
Am I really in danger of falling in love with her? My heart beat starts to thump painfully in my chest at the thought. Falling for her isn’t a good idea. I know it’s not. But . . .
God, I can’t think when I’m near her. I need a bit of distance, a bit of perspective. I’m sure it’ll all make sense tomorrow.
I get almost no sleep that night. Arriving home at 2:30 in the morning, I lie on my uncomfortable, makeshift bed and stare at the living room ceiling for what feels like hours until I hear the girls creeping around the living room, trying so hard to be quiet and failing completely. I crack an eyelid.
“¿Ya ves?” Daniela whispers loudly. “Está despierto.”
Well, I’m awake now.
“Buenos días, Tío.”
Three bright smiles greet me, and I mumble something that sounds like buenos días back.
“¿Desayunamos waffles, Papá? ¿Por favor?”
“Waffles?” It is Saturday, and it’s my responsibility to get the girls fed on the weekends, so, “Okay. Just give me a chance to shower first.”
While the girls and I are making breakfast, my sisters and grandmother straggle out of their beds one by one and seat themselves around the kitchen table to drink their coffee. After last night’s choir fiasco, I like that we’re able to bury our differences enough that there’s no squabbling. For once, spending time with my family soothes some of my worry – not only about Ellie, but also about the situation with Lolita.
In the end, the girls and I make a crazy mess in the kitchen, but we’re left with a big batch of pink, chocolate chip waffles, enough for everyone. It’s after noon by the time everything is put to rights, and slowly my family starts disappearing out of the house. Mari to her job at the mall, Desiree out with her boyfriend, and my grandmother out with her knitting circle. I wonder vaguely where my mother’s gotten to, but it’s fleeting. The girls and I are trying to decide what we’d like to do for the day when Jorgie texts me.
Jorgie: My mom’s having a comida. Bring the girls. The back yard is full of nieces and nephews. Mikey will be here. No arguments, see u soon.
Actually it sounds like exactly what I need. Distracting adult conversation while the girls play with other kids.
The five-block walk over to Jorgie’s brings back so many memories of being a kid. It’s a miracle that I ever made it to adulthood considering the things Jorgie, Mike and I used to get up to. Then, nostalgia hits me even harder as we go in the door at Jorgie’s mom’s house. I spent a lot of time here as a kid. Jorgie’s mom, Nora, was almost as much of a mother to me as my grandmother. Nora is so welcoming as she squawks over how tall I am, how big the girls are, how thankful she is for my help in getting Jorgie the job that I almost feel a knot forming in my throat. Good grief, I’m a bit of wreck today.
I catch up with people I haven’t seen in forever – and it feels good. The lilting sounds of Spanglish, the smells of Mexican food, and the easy laughter have me forgetting everything for a while.
We eat around 3 o’clock; tacos de cochinita, rajas con crema, and picadillo. I try to make sure that the girls are eating, but the women in the kitchen shoo me away after they assure me that they’re taking care of it.
Shortly thereafter, Alejandro, of all people, sneaks in, much to the delight of his family. He could pass for a normal guy without his entourage, in jeans and a long-sleeved button-down that covers his tattoos. I think he likes the same things that I do about this place; it’s a nice reprieve from everyday life.