“Tell me. Maybe we can work something out.”
She places her head on my thigh again and in a small voice says, “It’s just, what if Mamá Lilia makes me stay here?”
“What?” The hand that’s stroking her hair stills. “Why would she do that?”
“She’s always reminding me that Scotty’s not my dad.”
Foreboding rises in my chest. This is the first I’ve ever heard of this.
“And she says that soon my real dad is coming home and that we’re going to be a family again,” she says, her voice filled with misery.
Internally, I balk. Her real dad? The one that’s in prison?
“It’s true,” I hear from behind me.
I turn to find Daniela in the doorway with Rosa peeking around her shoulder, both of them looking solemn. As I beckon them in, Carmen sits up and wipes her tears away, probably so she’s not taken for a baby. Daniela gets on the bed beside her and Rosa comes to lean against me. I loop my arms around her waist.
“You’re sure that Mamá Lilia said your real dad’s coming home?” I ask cautiously
All three girls nod before Daniela, very primly, informs me, “She said we weren’t supposed to say anything to anyone, that it was a surprise.” Her demeanor tells me she thinks the whole thing is garbage and I fight a twinge of amusement. If this is true, it’s serious.
“So Scott doesn’t know?”
“No,” Carmen says passionately. “And now he’s going to leave me here.”
“Hey,” I say. “No one is going anywhere without you. Ever. Okay?”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“And Ellie can be your mom too,” Daniela says. “Right, Ellie?”
“I . . .” Shit, I’m not sure what to say. Even when Rosa asked me earlier, it occurred to me that she already has a mother, and I don’t want to cause friction within the family. But . . . “I’m fine with whatever you guys want to call me.” I consider it for a moment. “Rosa, sometimes you call your mother Mamá in Spanish and sometimes Mom in English. Maybe you can stick to one name for her and you guys can use the other one for me?”
“Mom in English for Ellie,” Daniela calls, giving Rosa a meaningful glance, like she’d better get on board or there’d be trouble.
Rosa’s face blooms with happiness and Carmen seems to shed some of her melancholy. “Okay then, but it will always be your decision, and you can change your mind at any time, all right?” They all nod in a rare consensus. “But no matter what, I’ll always be here for you guys. Even if Scott and I are upset with each other, you can always talk to me.”
Rosa turns to see me better. “But you’re getting married,” she says, making it sound like Scott and I are now cemented forever in happiness. And I suppose to her that’s what it does mean. She takes my hand in hers and we all study the way the ring shines in the light.
“Isn’t there supposed to be a diamond?” Daniela asks with all seriousness.
“Usually. But we decided not to spend money on an expensive ring. We’d like to buy a home for all of us first.”
“But how come we can’t stay here?” Rosa asks.
“There’s not enough rooms for everyone,” Carmen tells her gently.
“Ellie can have our room,” Daniela exclaims with sudden inspiration. “And we can set up a tent in the living room.”
Rosa hums with excitement, then squirms out of my grip. “I’m going to tell Papá.”
Carmen gives me a resigned look and I almost laugh. Next month she’ll be nine. Combined with the maturity that’s knitted into her very DNA, the year or two she has on Daniela and Rosa sometimes seems more like a decade.
Daniela doesn’t notice as she launches into how she envisions the setup of their new sleeping arrangement, with her taking the prime spot closest to the TV. While she’s going on, I pull Carmen into a hug.
“I love you, Ellie,” she whispers.
“Oh, I love you too. Don’t you worry about anything, okay?”
“What’s going on?” Scott asks as Rosa tugs him into the room.
“Tío, we’re moving to the living room! That way Ellie can live here with us.”
“Yeah, um, Rosa told me,” he says, coming to sit on the lower bunk with me. “But there’s not enough room for all of us here.”
“But it’ll be so much fun!” Rosa exclaims, climbing up with the other girls.
“I’m sorry, Calabacita. It’s just not possible. What brought this . . . plan on?”
Carmen fixes me with a panicked expression, but before I can say or do anything, Daniela sums up the situation in a very concise nutshell. “Mamá Lilia won’t let Carmen go with us and Ellie says we can’t leave her here.”
“Pardon?” Scott’s entire body stiffens. “Mamá Lilia said that?”
Carmen shrinks down against my shoulder, but Daniela nods happily, still certain her life is about to become one long camping trip.
“When was this?”
“In the summer.”
“The summer?” he repeats, his voice starting to sound like crushed gravel. I place my hand on his thigh in warning and he takes a deep breath before he asks his next question. “Why would she say that?”
“Because she says my dad is coming home soon,” Carmen says, her face crumpling back into tears.
“¿Tu papá?” Scott echoes, his disbelief palpable.
Carmen nods. “He’s going to get a job or something.” She switches to English, “Like payroll.”
“Parole?”
“Sí, eso.”
I watch as emotions rise on Scott’s face, shock leading the way, followed closely by anger, fear, suspicion, and defiance.
“Does it mean he’s coming to live here?” Carmen asks.
“No,” Scott says emphatically, pushing to his feet. “It doesn’t. You never have to worry about that.” He pauses in the doorway. “I’ll be right back.”
Five seconds later, voices from the kitchen start to gain in volume, the loudest of which is Mari who’s obviously dismayed at the possibility of her father’s return.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Carmen whispers, her lower lip wobbling.
“No,” I tell her firmly. “You did the right thing. It’s never okay for an adult to ask you to keep a secret.”
“Never?” Rosa asks, frowning.
“Never. Unless we’re talking birthday presents.”
“What about Christmas presents?” Daniela asks in alarm, probably because Christmas is coming up soon.
“You’re right,” I say, loving her literal mind. “Presents of all kinds are good secrets. But other than that, if an adult asks you to keep a secret, I want you to tell someone. Like your abuela, or Scott, or me, or Desiree, okay?”
They mull this over as we listen to the indistinct ebb and flow of the conversation coming from the kitchen.
Daniela is serious when she says, “Anne Marie told me that her brother has a secret girlfriend.”
“Oh? How old is Anne Marie’s brother?”