My breasts bruised into the mattress, my lips burned as he bent and kissed me. Our tongues slip-sliding, our finesse totally obliterated until we licked and nipped like animals.
I lost all other sensation apart from being used by Sully Sinclair.
And when he finally reached that brick wall, when he ran headfirst into blistering fatigue, his entire body bowed into mine. His jaw locked and his eyes snapped closed. His frame jerked and jolted as every cell, every breath was consumed by his orgasm.
It didn’t look pleasurable.
It didn’t grant relief.
It looked as if I’d tortured him worse than anyone.
His mouth opened wide with a silent roar as he crested the final clutch of his climax. Then his eyes rolled back, his body went slack, and he tumbled into unconsciousness beside me.
Chapter Four
I’D FALLEN.
I’d broken.
I slept.
But restful slumber didn’t find me, nightmares did.
Nightmares of family betrayal, vicious lies, and why I’d forgotten how to trust.
I sank into horrors and reminders.
My sins crept from the darkness to maraud and mock, revealing how far I’d gone to wage war on those who’d deceived me.
I had blood upon my hands.
Revenge upon my soul.
And now Eleanor was unlucky enough to have trapped my heart.
This won’t end well…
Chapter Five
MORNING LIGHT GRADUALLY SWITCHED to late afternoon.
I hadn’t moved.
I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I had no clothes, no painkillers, no food or water.
I only had a man who’d purchased me from traffickers, used me more thoroughly than anyone, and then passed out beside me. A man I couldn’t stop looking at because I couldn’t come to terms with the carnage inside my heart.
I should loathe him.
I should stalk to his kitchen and grab the biggest knife I could find. I should sink it into his chest and let him bleed until dead. I should end him now, while he lay so trustingly next to me, and save countless other girls who would one day become his goddesses.
He might have black and white rules on the trading of services—likening it to the industries that humans had turned into torture devices—but it didn’t make it right…or wrong. He respected all life, any life. He stood up for those who didn’t have a voice, and in turn he reversed the rules onto his own kind.
He was complicated.
He was simple.
He was ruthless and unreadable, and as much as I’d like to think things would be different now that we’d slept together—that something special bound us—it didn’t mean he wasn’t the same arrogant asshole who’d stolen my future and farmed me out to his high-paying guests.
And yet…
I sighed.
I sighed and studied the way his black hair cascaded over his forehead, clinging to his damp skin with its bronze-bleached tips. The way his lips stayed parted, his jaw relaxed, and eyes closed.
He ought to look tranquil and free. However, stress lines never left his tanned skin. Sully ought to be in a healing sleep, but occasionally, he’d twitch as if he fought dragons in his dreams. As if he’d traded one hell for another.
Had I looked that tormented after Euphoria? Did I look so scrambled and uneasy when staff had removed the sensors and carried me back to my villa?
I’d tried to wake him. I’d curled up beside him and brushed aside his hair to kiss his feverish cheek, but he remained unconscious. His lungs rattled a little from inhaling so much water, his breathing laboured and loud.
I should be glad of his struggles—he’d caused more than enough to others—so why did my heart revolt and beg to find a doctor. To help Sully even though he refused to help other two-legged beings.
As time ticked onward, and I stayed vigil by his side, I allowed my mind to run riot. My common-sense was disgusted at me. Its scalding and snappish remarks, its condemning disappointment made me blush and cringe.
You fucked a man who trades in women.
You fell for a man who doesn’t hesitate to use others for his own gain.
You stopped trying to escape because you stupidly believed he might be the one.
You’ve forgotten all about Scott because he’s not Sully.
You’ve cheated on your boyfriend.
I bit my lip at that one. Before, in Euphoria and all the other sexual experiences Sully had put me through, I could semi-justify my involvement and participation.
This time?
Nothing could spare me from the truth.
I’d drugged Sully, knowing this would happen. Hoping this would happen. I’d gambled with my own body and heart in order to win his in return. I hadn’t thought about what Scott would say as I let another man fuck me. In fact, just thinking of Scott seemed so distant now. A different time, place…a faraway galaxy.
I’d been a kid then. An adolescent girl with a puppy-affection for a mediocre-traveller.
I didn’t feel like a child now.
I felt every one of my twenty-two years. I felt worldly and guilty and fully aware of the mess that today would’ve caused. But I was also grateful to finally know what sex with Sully Sinclair would be like.
I’d no longer have to wonder—even if he went through with his plan and sold me. Even if the awe, possession, and love in his gaze turned out to be elixir falseness, I’d taken something from him, just as he’d taken something from me.
We were even.
Marked and mutilated by mutual desire.
This was justified.
My hands balled as a stupid wash of tears raced up my spine. I didn’t know where such weakness came from, but I refused to shed them. I would not pity myself. I would not pity him. There was nothing to pity because magic had existed between us, and it’d been worth being reckless for.
Wiping at a single droplet as it dribbled disapprovingly down my cheek, a noise ripped my head up.
The slam of the front door, then the heavy thuds of shoes.
I scrambled to grab the rumpled sheet, struggling to pull it out from under Sully’s prone, naked body. He lay on his stomach with one arm limp beside his chest and the other thrown over his head. His thighs were spread, revealing to this unwanted intruder the abrasions from too much sex between his legs.
Cal appeared, slamming to a stop on the threshold of Sully’s bedroom. He held a black bag in his fist, his chest rising with harsh breath as he drank in the sight of us.
“Well…you’re alive at least.” He wrinkled his nose, stepping toward the bed, deliberately keeping his stare off Sully’s naked ass.
I flinched, pulling the sheet closer. Most of the cotton remained trapped under Sully’s unconscious bulk, leaving my top half exposed.
I cupped my breasts, keeping my spine rigid. “Go away.”
Cal’s green gaze turned mocking. “No need to cover up, Goddess Jinx. I’ve seen you naked many times before.”
I glowered. “You’re not needed here.”
“I say otherwise.” His handsome face softened just a tiny bit, his attention falling to the scrape on my cheek, the bite marks on my skin, the shadows of strangulation around my throat. “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
I shivered. “I caused this.”
“Yes, yes, you did.” His forehead furrowed. “What the fuck were you thinking, giving him a dose? I’m honestly surprised you’re still breathing.”