The nightmares, as common an occurrence as rain in the Highlands, were not to be taken lightly. Nearly every night, they tormented him. Some nights were worse than others. He would wake, soaked in sweat, thrashing about and hitting anything he came in contact with. Often times, it would take a long, long while before his muddled mind would realize what was happening. He didn’t wish to risk injuring Aeschene any more than to have her witness his wretchedness.
Their loving? Loving had been as easy as breathing and as comforting as whisky.
Which was more dangerous to him, the nightmares or the ease in which he loved his wife, he simply didn’t know. She had come to him willingly, albeit with an innocence he found as delightful as it was intriguing. There had been no need to coax her into responding to his touch. And respond she had, with a vigor he hadn’t expected.
Afterward, he realized he’d been foolish in believing she was too frail, too tiny, too weak to do much of anything, let alone join with him. She possessed a vitality and strength that belied her small stature.
’Twas when he began to think of their future — one in which they cared for one another deeply — that sent fissures of fear coursing through his veins. That quickly turned to anger. He was letting his guard down and with a MacRay to boot.
Nay, trusting her too soon, or ever at all, would undoubtedly lead to nothing but destruction. He would need to proceed with caution and a good deal of skepticism. He had agreed to the marriage because he wanted to stop the warring betwixt their clans. Aye, it helped that she was a comely lass with a brilliant smile and the prettiest blue eyes he’d ever seen.
Still, he had to be leery. What man in his position wouldn’t be? ’Twas for the sake of his clan he had married her. ’Twas for the sake of his clan he would not put his full trust in her. Not for a long, long while. Nay, she would have to prove herself a hundred times over before he could do that.
Lest he be naught more than a fly caught in a spider web. A web created by his wife, with the help of her traitorous, unfaithful father.
So slip from the bed and hide away in his room below stairs like a coward seemed the most reasonable solution.
Sleep had been difficult. Tossing and turning, he finally gave up his pursuit of a restful slumber when he heard voices in the gathering room.
Finding the stairs was not the problem. Traversing them without slipping, falling, or otherwise injuring herself was. Pausing at the top of the stairs, she listened for any signs of life below.
“M’lady?” came a voice from behind.
Startled, she jumped and spun around. Her heart pounded against her breast. She thought she recognized the voice.
“’Tis me, Mildred.”
Relief washed over her. “Good morn, to ye, Mildred,” she replied, pressing her hand to her chest. “Ye gave me a fright!”
“I be sorry, m’lady,” Mildred replied. “Do ye need help in findin’ yer demon of a husband this morn?”
Aeschene noted the mischievous tone to the woman’s voice and had no choice but to smile. “Aye, I do.”
“He be below stairs, in his private study the last I kent,” Mildred informed her.
“Would ye be so kind as to help me make my way below? I fear stairs and I do not always get along these days.”
Mildred cackled and took Aeschene’s hand. “I can help ye.”
Aeschene explained how she would feel better holding the back of Mildred’s dress while they descended the stone steps. “I do not feel so off-balanced that way.”
With a nod of her head, Mildred waited for her to grab hold. “So what will ye do to Richard this day?” she asked as she took the steps down.
“Do to him?” Aeschene asked.
“Aye,” Mildred laughed. “Yesterday, ye were mad enough to bite his head off. I must admit I rather enjoyed watchin’ him turn as white as a sheet when he saw ye on the ledge.”
“Mildred!” Aeschene said, astonished the woman would admit to such a thing.
“Och! Do not take that the wrong way, m’lady. ’Tis just that he has been a grousin’, stern man for far too long. It be about time he had a good woman who can put him in his place. Keep him on his toes, ye ken.”
Aeschene giggled with understanding.
“He be a good man, do not get me wrong. But these past few years have been hard on him. Hard on all of us.” Gone was Mildred’s playfulness.
“I fear I do not ken much about those struggles,” Aeschene replied. In truth, she knew very little about anything anymore. For years, she’d been locked away and forgotten, no longer a part of the nightly discussions with her family.
“But that be over now,” Mildred said, the laughter returning to her voice. “More than glad I am that Richard finally has him a wife.”
“Even if that wife be a MacRay?” Aeschene asked, her tone most sincere.
“Och!” Mildred cackled. “Ye be not a MacRay now, lass. Ye be a MacCullough.”
They reached the bottom landing and Aeschene let go. Her next thought was interrupted by the sound of heavy footfalls and her husband’s voice.
“Aeschene,” Black Richard called out as he crossed the gathering room.
Relieved to hear him, she smiled. “Richard.”
“Well, I shall leave ye to him, m’lady,” Mildred said with a chuckle.
Black Richard watched, bemused by the fact that Mildred was smiling and laughing. “What on earth is she about?” he muttered.
“What do ye mean?” Aeschene asked him.
“Mildred never smiles. Nor does she laugh.”
Believing he was exaggerating, Aeschene smiled up at him. “She seemed in fine spirits to me,” she told him. “She even offered to help me below stairs.”
He fell silent for a long moment, his thoughts turning back to last night. God’s teeth, but she was a strikingly beautiful woman. Images of her hair as it cascaded across the pillows, her skin glistening with perspiration as she called out his name, repeatedly, left his groin aching. He wanted naught more than to carry her back above stairs and join with her again.
Pushing those thoughts aside, for the wellbeing of both his mind and heart, he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “How do ye fare this morn?”
“Be it still morn?” she asked, looking puzzled.
“Aye, it still be morn,” he said. “But there be not much left of it.”
“I thought I had slept away the day,” she admitted.
“Again, I ask how ye fare?” He was still concerned that he had somehow harmed her last night.
“I be verra well,” she replied, smiling up at him as if he were something wonderful.
’Twas an odd sensation that built in his gut. She could disarm him with naught more than a pleasant smile. With one simple touch, she could douse his anger, as she had proved on three separate occasions.
While his heart thoroughly and deeply enjoyed knowing these things, his mind begged him to proceed with a good deal of caution and heedfulness. She was still a MacRay and they were well known for their ability to smile and while shaking your hand in friendship, they would gut you with the other.
“I was supposed to meet Hattie after the mornin’ meal,” she said, breaking his reverie and silence.