Energy buzzed underneath her skin, growing louder as the anxiety swirled out of control. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t be here.
The lies she told herself ate at her. She was okay. It was just a phase. Nothing was wrong.
Nothing was okay. This would never end.
And it was all so, so wrong.
Brea Robinson was a lie.
“Brea.” Myles appeared at her side, lifting a hand to grab her arm.
She twisted away from him, forcing her legs to push through the quicksand of her fear.
“Brea!” Myles called after her as she ran through the cafeteria, shoving people out of the way.
She burst through the double doors into the hall, but it wasn’t enough.
“I can’t breathe,” she said to herself as her head whipped from side to side searching for an escape.
“Where are you going, weirdo?”
She didn’t know who said it, but a crowd of people stood in the doorway watching her.
Myles pushed through them, trying to get to her, to reach her.
But he was too late.
Brea’s sneakers squeaked against the tile floor, and the hall became a blur of lockers. A hall monitor tried to stop her, but she kept going until she reached the front door of the school.
A blast of winter air struck her the moment she crashed through the doors. She gulped a breath as if she’d never feel its icy chill again and ran down the steps.
Snow coated the walkway in front of her, leading to the student parking lot where a fresh dusting covered the cars.
Snow made the world look so new, but even that was a lie. It only covered up the grime underneath.
A chill raced down her spine, and she hugged her arms across her chest, wishing for the jacket that sat snug in her locker.
Wacko.
That was what they thought of her. She couldn’t face this school any longer. But where could she go? Her parents thought much worse things of her. Tears froze in her lashes, and she wanted to scream. Not even her tears could thaw her.
“Where are you going?” Myles’ voice behind her was soft.
She didn’t turn to him. “Leave me alone, Myles.”
“Brea, you have to go back in there and show them nothing they say matters.”
“But it does. It all matters.” She whirled on her heel, narrowly missing a patch of ice. “You can’t tell me you don’t think it. Just a little.”
“Think what?”
“That I should never have been released from the institute.”
“I’d never think something like that.”
A warm tear tracked down her icy cheek. “No, you wouldn’t say it, but everyone thinks it. My parents. Them.” She gestured to the school. “This version of me, the one who exists inside that school instead of in a sterile room. It’s not real. I finally see it now. The Brea Robinson you see is the lie.”
“Don’t say that?”
Anger burned through her. Why couldn’t he see this?
The doors opened behind them, and a few of Myles’ teammates piled out of the building. They stopped when they saw them.
“Lover’s quarrel?” Carson Freemont asked.
As the quarterback, most people wished he’d speak to them. But he’d been tormenting her since middle school, and she just wished he’d go away.
“This is none of your business, Freemont.” Myles drew himself up to his full height—which was about an inch taller than Carson’s six feet.
Carson laughed. “Touched a nerve, did I?” He looked to his friends with a grin. “So, Brea, heard you were in the nut house. Almost killed your ma.”
And it all made sense. How some of the kids at school knew. Carson’s mom was in a church group with Brea’s.
Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, kept there by some invisible force. A tingling started in her fingertips, and she rubbed them together, trying to rid herself of the feeling. She knew what it meant.
Brea was about to lose control.
She breathed deeply, trying to push away the emotions swirling in her chest. Shame. Guilt. But most of all, anger. She was so freaking angry at this world, this school, these kids. The list was long.
“Not about to go psycho on us, are you?” Carson lifted a brow and stepped toward her. His frame loomed over her smaller one, and she stared down at her feet.
He wasn’t finished. “Come on, Robinson. I want to see some of that legendary temper. You can be a grand prize winner of a lifelong stay at the Clarkson Center.”
He even knew the institute they’d put her in. The Clarkson Center dealt with delinquents with mental disturbances.
Memories flashed through her mind of the first night she’d arrived there when she was just a child. They’d strapped her to a bed. She’d thrashed against the restraints and screamed about how nothing was real.
After that, everything she’d done had been monitored. Even now, she was expected to go straight to her therapist after school.
Her fists clenched at her sides, and she squeezed her eyes shut. Don’t lose control, she told herself.
But it was no use because she’d never had control in the first place.
Carson forced her chin up. “Look at me,” he growled. “You don’t belong here.”
Not news to her.
“You never ha—” His words cut off as Myles barreled into him, knocking him to the concrete.
Carson tried to pop up, but Myles was bigger and stronger.
Brea stepped back until she teetered on the edge of the curb. She’d never seen Myles so angry… or violent.
She needed to stop it, to help him. Carson managed to roll them over, his fist pounding into Myles’ face.
“Myles,” Brea whispered, desperation coursing through her.
Her friend’s hand went limp, but Carson didn’t stop.
“You can’t do this.” Her voice was so quiet no one heard her. Carson’s friends only watched in fascination as blood poured from Myles’ face.
He couldn’t get away with this. Searing hot rage ripped through her, filling every cell with its fury. Her jaw clenched as heat pooled in her hands. Her eyes blazed as she became more than the girl on the sidelines.
She tilted her head to the side, trying to hold back whatever was happening. But this was Myles, and that only amplified every emotion in her.
“Myles is good,” she bit out. He deserved only good things.
Unlike her. It was in that moment Brea realized she wasn’t good, she was fire to his ocean, rage to his joy.
The way he saw the world may have been a lie, but it had to be preserved.
Light poured from her before she knew what was happening. Pain exploded in her temple as the power split her in two. She tried to call it back, to make it stop, but it kept coming.
Her knees buckled, and she fell forward. She didn’t sense the impact as she hit the ground or feel whatever that power was snap back into her.
Her eyes found Myles motionless on the ground with the others nowhere to be found. She reached for his hand, struggling to grasp his icy fingers.
Whatever this was, it was just another lie. Another illusion. She’d wake up soon to find everything as it should be.
Part of her hoped it was a dream and she’d open her eyes to find the blank white walls of the Clarkson Center caging her in once again.