“Sounds good,” I tell him, anxious to get out of here. I leave Josh in the booth as I walk to the counter to ask for a lid and a bag. The door opens, and in my periphery, I see two men enter the restaurant. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and I can’t help but turn to look at them.
As they walk toward the counter, I notice that one is looking in the direction of our booth where Josh is standing, trying to zip up his coat.
When I glance back at the man, he’s watching me. I freeze, my heart in my throat.
“Cute kid,” he says, then turns to the woman behind the counter, and they order two cones.
I hurry back to Josh and fumble to put the lid on the uneaten portion of ice cream, then help him zip up his coat. I don’t bother with his hood as I walk us hurriedly out of the restaurant and back to the hotel.
“Slow down, Mommy.”
I look down at Josh, who is struggling to keep up. “I’m sorry,” I tell him.
A car honks its horn, startling me as it speeds past. I pull Josh backward, lifting him in my arms, dropping the rest of the ice cream.
“Mommy?” His tone is panicked, and when I look at his face, his eyes are huge, and his lip is trembling.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay. Mommy needs to pay better attention, that’s all. Let’s go back and call Lev, okay? See how far he is.”
He nods, and I keep him in my arms as I wait for another car to pass. As soon as I step out into the street, a big hand closes over my shoulder.
I gasp, spin to find one of the two men from the restaurant looming behind me. He tugs me backward as another car speeds past, catching me when I almost fall.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he says, letting me slip backward as I hug Josh who’s watching the man too. “Here.” He holds up Josh’s scarf. “Found it in the booth when my friend and I sat down.”
“My scarf!” Josh says, reaching out for it.
“Oh.” I breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” I let Josh hold it.
“Are you okay?” the man asks me.
“Fine. We’re fine. Thank you.” I turn and hurry across the street back to the hotel on the verge of tears. I don’t know if they’re tears of relief or just from the stress of all of this, but I try to keep them hidden and am grateful it’s dark as I try to get myself together before Josh sees me crying.
9
Kat
I decide not to mention our outing to Lev. I feel stupid for how I reacted to that man and also reckless for having gone out at all. There are men from the Russian mob looking for us, and it was just a stupid thing to do. I know Lev will be pissed, and I don’t need that right now.
Josh is sleeping in the king-size bed of the studio-style hotel room. I’m sitting in the chair at the desk finishing the second little bottle of vodka while I watch him, his little face turned toward me, eyes closed, mouth slightly open as he hugs Wally to him, sleeping soundly.
After that night at Nina’s, I didn’t know what I’d do about the pregnancy. Abortion wasn’t really ever an option for me. I understood that some women chose that route, but it just wasn’t even something I considered. Maybe it was because of how I grew up, although the opposite makes more sense. But for me, I just knew how much I could love a child. Maybe it’s that love I missed for all those years that did it. I wanted to have my own baby and give him all the love in the world like growing up showered with it is normal. Like it’s the most normal thing in fact.
It should be.
Three quiet knocks sound on the door followed by a pause, then one more knock. Lev’s signal.
When I get up to undo the chain—although I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t keep anyone out who really wanted to get in—I breathe a sigh of relief to see Lev standing there in his signature leather jacket, hair flopping over his forehead, and his warm chocolate brown eyes smiling down at me.
I push into him, wrap my arms around his middle, and feel myself let go, at least a little. I inhale loudly, trying to stifle a sob.
He wraps his arms around me and walks me backward into the room.
“Hey.” With a finger under my chin, he tilts my face up to his. “I’m sorry I’m so late.” He pauses, studying me. “You okay?”
I nod. “I am now that you’re here.”
“Did something happen?” His expression changes. “Is Josh—”
“He’s fine.” I point toward the bed, and in the darkness, I know he can see Josh’s little form under the blanket in the middle of the bed. “Sleeping.”
“That’s good.” He closes the door and locks it, then takes my hand and looks me over again like he’s making sure I’m okay.
“Why were you gone so long?”
He looks at the desk where the two empty little bottles of vodka sit. Going to the minibar, he opens it, then takes out another one of vodka and two of whiskey. He sits on the big armchair by the window and draws me down onto his lap.
Opening the vodka, he hands it to me.
I take it as he opens one of the whiskey bottles and drinks straight from it like I do mine.
“You already had a couple.” He gestures to the empties on the desk. “That’s not like you.”
“I was worried. I am worried.”
“I know. But it’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this and have a life, Kat. You, me, and Josh.”
“What kind of life? Running from hotel to hotel?”
He shakes his head, finishes the first bottle, and then opens the second. “No. I’ll face Vasily head-on. He owes me some answers, and I owe him a bullet. And I won’t tuck tail and hide. What we’re doing now is to keep you and Josh safe and give me time to gather some ammunition. Get something on my uncle that’ll end this.”
“Like what?”
He finishes his second bottle. “I found the man I was looking for today.”
“Who? I didn’t know you were looking for someone.”
“His name is Maxim Sobol. He used to work for Vasily.”
“Lev, do you think that’s safe or even smart?”
Josh mumbles something and rolls over to his other side. We’ve been talking in whispers, but I realize my whisper just got pretty loud.
“Relax, sweetheart.” Lev tucks me against his chest and kisses the top of my head. “I think I may have something. In fact, you’re going to meet him tomorrow.”
We leave early the next morning. I’m anxious as we head out, glancing at every closed door of the hotel, wondering who is inside, peering into each car in the parking lot, and still thinking about those men from last night when we pass the still-closed Dairy Queen. On the sidewalk, I see the bag I dropped that had the leftover ice cream. Josh is busy with one of the new toy trucks Lev bought him, and I’m grateful he doesn’t mention our trip.
“So, you really think it was my mom on that list?” Lev’s cousin had figured out that the name Kieran March on the list was actually my mother, Ciara March. March not being an uncommon name, I had paused when I’d seen it myself on the file, but not for long since Kieran is a man’s name, and my mother had no connection to Vasily or anyone like him that I could imagine.