“Daddy!” The door bursts open, and Josh comes bolting in with a breathless Gleb behind him. He offers us an apologetic shrug as we part, and I help Kat down from the workbench.
“What is it, little fella?” I lean down and muss up his hair.
“I like this house,” he says decidedly. “Grandpa Gleb said I could have a race car bed if I want to.”
“Oh, he did now?” Kat eyes her father with humorous disbelief.
“Yep.” Josh nods. “And we can go swimming in the lake in the summer. And we can get a dog too.”
“Sounds like you’ve got everything planned out.” I suck in a breath and look at Kat. So does Gleb, and then finally, Josh.
It isn’t long before she caves with the three of us looking at her. Her shoulders shake, and it’s the first tiny laugh she’s allowed herself to have since the news of our loss. It might not be a big deal to anyone else, but for a woman who’s felt like she needed to punish herself for something she couldn’t control, it’s a huge fucking deal to me. For the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe again as I see that tiny spark of life returning to her eyes. And I’m starting to wonder if it really is the air up here that changes everything.
“I think it’s settled.” Kat looks at her father, her eyes shining with appreciation. “We’re moving to Cooperstown.”
27
Lev
“I don’t understand.” Kat glares at me, her fingers digging into my jacket. “Where could you possibly have to go without us?”
“One day, sweetheart.” My lips graze her forehead, and she shudders beneath my touch. “That’s all I’m asking.”
“One day for what?” she croaks. “I don’t want you to go anywhere. I need answers, Lev. You promised me. You said you were done with this life. Don’t leave.”
“Kat,” Gleb interrupts, saving me from having this conversation right now. “Lev has to go. He won’t be gone long. In the meantime, you can help me pick out some furniture for the house.”
Kat looks set to argue, but I give her a quick kiss just as Josh comes flying into our path, tugging at Kat’s leg. “Can we go swimming now?”
“Take the boy swimming.” I squeeze her hand in mine. “And don’t be too pissed off at me. I’ll be back just as soon as I can.”
Kat calls after me, but Gleb steps in and gives me a moment to make a quick exit. It’s not that I want to leave her behind, but there’s just one more thing I need to do. One final piece of the past to chip away so Kat can truly live in peace. An unfinished promise, and one last act of violence that I will gladly allow to stain my soul.
Philly is dark and dreary, and gray clouds blanket the sky with a silent threat to open up and unleash at any moment. Kat has already called and texted me too many times to count, and a part of me feels like an asshole for ignoring her right now. But I’m hoping that when she sees me again in the early hours of the morning, she’ll come to understand.
The first stop I make is at my old house, which, by all appearances, has been left untouched. Not surprising, considering I paid everything for a year at a time. But I know when I open the door, it won’t be the same inside, and it isn’t. Judging by the shattered lamps and slashed furniture, it looks like Vasily and his men turned this place upside down. I can only imagine how frustrating it must have been for him not to find anything. He would have liked for me to be so stupid. But there are only two things that hold any sentimental value for me in this house. The rest means nothing.
I make my way into my bedroom and pull the area rug back. I guess Vasily never thought to look here, but even if he had, I doubt he would care about the old black garbage bags stashed in my hole beneath the floorboards. There isn’t anything condemning about them, except for the fact that I’d kept them all these years, often sorting through them, hoping to get one last hint of her scent as it started to disappear. I don’t know that Kat will actually want any of the things in these bags, but it’s always been my goal to return them to her, just in case. It’s one of the only promises I’ve ever been able to keep, and I want her to have her belongings from the old apartment, even if it just means she decides to dispose of them herself.
Next, I make my way into the garage. The few boxes I had stored here have all been torn open and scattered about, but the contents of the old metal storage cabinet are still in there, on display with the doors wide open. To Vasily, they would have meant nothing. But to me, these are the link to my past. One of the only good memories I have. Things that my father and I made together, and hopefully, something I’ll be able to teach Josh someday too.
I look over the pieces, bits of rusty car parts welded into clocks, mirrors, animals, robots, or whatever my father was into at the time. Even after all these years, I think they still look pretty cool, and I’m banking on the fact that the public will too. My father had a dream of quitting his job at the steel factory and doing this full-time. That was before the days of online everything, but now it’s more feasible, and I think I’m going to take a solid crack at it. Right now, I just can’t imagine myself doing anything else.
After I’ve loaded up my car, I take one last look at the little house I used to call home. But it was never really home, and I realize that when I think about what’s waiting for me back in New York. But before I get back to my real home, I just have one last stop to make. I plug the address into my GPS, and twenty minutes later, I’m driving through one of the most decrepit neighborhoods in Philly.
As I consider that, I think maybe I’m not even the worst thing that will ever darken the doorstep of the woman I’m looking for. Maybe the fact that she lost everything and had to move here in the first place was a fitting twist of fate. But I don’t believe in karma. I never have. A man like me doesn’t leave anything up to fate. I make my own revenge, and I don’t regret it.
My GPS chimes, alerting me that the house is just up the block on the right. This doesn’t look like the type of area where anybody would call the cops to help their neighbor, but just in case, I park my car next to an abandoned grocery store. Studying the shadows on the street, I listen for any signs of life. It’s after midnight, and the only thing I can hear is the sound of a distant siren and a couple of alley cats establishing their territory as they skitter past me.
I move quietly, counting the houses and checking the mailboxes before I find the small, one-bedroom hole with a shoddy chain-link fence around it. There’s no security. Not even a dog. It makes my job easier, and when I slip around back, there isn’t even a goddamn deadbolt on the door. This woman is either very stupid or very naïve.
It takes me all of a minute to jimmy the lock. And once I’m inside, the smell of decay burns my nostrils. The house is full of trash with dishes rotting in the sink and cigarette trays overflowing with ashes. It’s enough to make me want to puke, and I can’t even imagine Kat ever living in conditions like this. I can only hope that this happened after she lost her husband and her entire life imploded, which would be the only logical conclusion, given Kat’s previous descriptions of her. It’s only fitting that her entire life has gone to shit, and I hope she regrets every second of every day that she pretends to be a woman of faith. But either way, she’s about to atone for her every sin.