Shannon presses, “I definitely want to know more now. What happened last night?”
Jim looks absolutely panicked. He might have fallen asleep with his dick in my mouth last night, but I have him by the balls now. His street cred would definitely take a hit if other guys knew about this.
“I had a weird dream and woke Jim up. He’s not sure if he wants to ever sleep with me again.” I grin.
I love you, he mouths silently, his expression relieved. He starts unpacking a box of dishes, likely to divert any further questioning. “I hate to say this, but Davey would not like Sarah.”
“What?” Shannon yelps. “Why not? Sarah’s the most lovable person ever!”
“Autistic people tend to have sensory issues,” I explain. “They don’t like loud noises and unexpected social situations. Sarah is the total opposite. Her hugs might upset Davey.”
Shannon twists her face in confusion. “Autism? I thought Sarah has Down syndrome.”
“Davey is autistic,” Jim supplies. “Sarah has Down’s.”
Nate shrugs. “I don’t see what the big deal is. When they meet, just have Davey wear his headphones and weighted vest like when he comes to the games. Explain to Sarah that she has to be quiet and can’t hug him. I think she’ll understand.”
I’m shocked. “Your parents bring Davey to the games?”
“Sometimes, yeah. They usually have to play it by ear. If he has a good morning, then they bring him. If not, they stay home.” Jim continues unpacking bowls like it’s no big deal that his brother gets to do fun things my sister is never allowed to do.
I need a break—and not just from unpacking. Loving a person with special needs isn’t without its ups and downs. From not taking the smallest milestones for granted to wondering why life is so unfair, it’s an emotional roller coaster, not for the weak.
Everyone else already assumes Davey and Sarah will eventually meet, but I’m nowhere near convinced plans will even need to be made to facilitate a peaceful exchange. My parents never bring Sarah to games. They only let her stay with me when my aunt can’t, and they have somewhere to be they think she can’t go.
“Is anyone hungry? I’ll order pizza. My treat as a way to say thank you for all the help today.”
Tim checks his phone. “I actually gotta get back to the house. I’ve got homework I need to get done before classes tomorrow.”
“Same,” Jake agrees. “Raincheck on the pizza. You can buy us dinner after the ITK meeting this week.”
Everyone else echoes that idea even though I didn’t realize I was supposed to attend ITK meetings from now on.
Hugs and thanks are exchanged until Jim and I are staring at each other from across the room.
“You don’t need to get going, too?” I’m itching for a little alone time to stew in private.
“Are you kidding?” He grins. “All my homework is done already. Still gotta stay ahead of you in our classes.”
“I thought we weren’t competing anymore?” My bad mood seeps into my tone, so I abandon ship for the bedroom to start unpacking there.
Jim was so good to my sister. I can’t kick him out if he doesn’t want to leave.
I’m already pulling clothes out to hang in the closet when he meanders into the room.
“Which box are your sheets in?”
I point to the one marked Blankets. If I wasn’t feeling so salty, I might enjoy the way his cheeks brighten with embarrassment for overlooking the obvious. It’s a look I’ve never seen before on him.
We work in silence—him making the bed, me hanging up clothes. The more he fights with the fitted sheet, the more the pressure in my chest builds.
“You’ve never held back before,” he grunts, finally getting the last corner into place. “What’s stopping you now?”
“I can’t believe your parents bring Davey to games!” I throw a dress in the corner, but it flutters pitifully to the ground not even a foot away from me. “It’s so unfair!”
Jim’s eyebrows pop up. “Why? Because you think he should have to stay at home and never be forced to interact with a world that makes him uncomfortable, that judges him constantly?”
“No!” I throw a shoe this time and feel slightly less unhinged when it hits the wall with a dull thud. Which actually makes me more unhinged, but I’m not in the mood to split hairs. “Well … maybe if he doesn’t like it, it’s unfair to force him. I mean, they already have the deck stacked against them! There are things you and I,” I wildly swing my finger between us, “will get to experience and do that they’ll never be able to! So, they should have every opportunity to do what they can, what they want to do, without being held back because someone else can’t deal with them!” I plop down onto the floor in front of my closet and make a way louder noise than either the dress or the shoe.
“Sure …” Jim slowly nods his head. “But there are some things Davey really can’t do. He can’t have a conversation, and he can barely show us what he wants. If my mom and dad wake up on Saturday morning and tell him there’s a game and ask him if he wants to go, they’re not even sure he understands the question. The best they can do is wait and see how he acts. If he has meltdowns all morning, we assume he doesn’t want to go. If he’s in a good mood, we assume he wants to.”
“That’s fine. For Davey. But Sarah can talk. Sarah talks all the time about wanting to come to games, about wanting to visit me here. She’s never been to a single game. They barely allow her to stay with me on campus, and she should get to! It’s bad enough she’ll probably never go to a party, never have a boyfriend, never get blackout drunk. I get some things are unsafe for her, but my mom won’t even let her live the kind of life she absolutely has the capacity for!”
Jim strides around the bed and settles himself on the floor, framing my body between his legs. He brushes more hair off my face because it keeps falling loose from my messy bun. “She’s the reason you were a party girl in high school, isn’t she? You wanted to experience everything she’d never have the chance to?”
I nod.
His expression darkens. “And I ruined that for you. Jesus. No wonder you hated me so much.”
“Yes and no.” I sigh, the fight draining out of me now that the pressure has been released. “You were a wake-up call. I was living too close to the edge and doing dangerous things. For all I knew, you could have infected me with a serious disease. You could have murdered me, and I wouldn’t have seen it coming because I just wanted to do everything for her. After you acted like you’d never seen me before, I realized the best thing I could do for her was get my shit together, so my parents would trust me with her more often. So, I’d be in a good, stable position to take care of her after they’re gone.”
“I’ve always known it, but you deserve to hear the words from my lips.” He cradles my face in his hands. “You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met, Sophia Reston. Knowing you at all is an absolute privilege.”
I sniffle through a chuckle and shake free of his hold. “You say that like you’re pond scum. You love your brothers just as much as I love my sister, and you would do anything for them. You’re amazing with kids, and you devote your free time to teaching them how to love music as much as you do. And you would have made a way better head drum major than me.”