“Archeologists get excited about digging up latrines. I’d be excited about digging up centuries old shit.”
She laughs. “Sounds okay to me.”
“What about you?” I ask. “If things had been different.”
She cuddles against me. Normally I hate that, but I’m surprised to find that I enjoy closeness with Sasha. I loved the sex, but just holding her is satisfying in a way that feels different. I shouldn’t be letting myself enjoy this.
“Lady pirate,” she says. “Freedom sailing the seven seas, stealing doubloons from the Spanish.”
“So a time traveler too.”
“Why not?” She sighs.
We’re both quiet for a while, and then she brushes a hand over my bicep.
“I’m afraid, Finn. I’m afraid to go back to sleep.” Her voice is barely a whisper.
Of all the people to be saying this to. I feel ashamed for the first time since I can remember.
“I’ll keep you safe. At least until morning.”
I wish I could help her, but I can’t. I tried in the ways available to me, but she didn’t want anything I had to offer. But tonight I can hold her. Protect her from bad dreams, or at least soothe her after them.
She settles against my chest, and I wrap my arms around her. Seducing Sasha had seemed like such a good idea when Patrick had suggested it, but I didn’t count on Sasha’s ridiculous integrity.
Or how I’d be so compelled by it.
I didn’t count on how good it’d feel being gloved by her body, her sweet voice whimpering my name as I brought her pleasure.
I didn’t plan on her intelligence and her wisdom.
Or her kindness.
That possessive fire surges through me again. I press my cheek against her soft hair, my body fully surrounding hers now. She sighs in her sleep.
Just tonight. Tomorrow we’re both on our own again. The world is a hard place, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.
Nothing at all.
15
Sasha
Finn’s still sleeping when I leave. It’s time to go home and change before work, and it’s a challenge finding all my clothes in the dim light. I consider leaving my panties in Finn’s pocket as a little reminder of what could’ve been, but those were expensive so I fish them out and stuff them in my bag.
I give him one final look.
He threw off most of the blanket sometime during the night, and it rests just across his hips. One of his arms is tossed casually over his head, the other draped where I was sleeping. I wouldn’t call him serene, not even in sleep, but I’m not one to throw stones about that.
His thick hair is wild and messy, and I need to go before I run my hands through it, waking him up for another round of what I imagine would be incredible sex.
Better to keep that to one night only. It’s why I don’t kiss him goodbye. No reason to be sentimental, even though my heart aches to leave things so casual. I care about this man, even though I shouldn’t. I’m sure his road ahead won’t be easy either.
I can be a real fool sometimes.
I sneak out as quietly as possible, and don’t think I wake him. I hope I don’t run into anyone on staff that I know.
What a first-time walk of shame, Sasha.
I’m relieved to be out of the casino and heading toward the bus stop when I hear someone call my name. I freeze in my tracks.
Fuck.
“Miss Saunders.”
I should just keep going, but I pride myself on not being a coward. Even when I want to be.
“Mr. Carney.” He’s holding a travel mug and is dressed like he rolled out of some family drama from the fifties—greatcoat, trilby hat and all.
He clicks his tongue at me. “I expected better from you than sleeping with my son. He’s got a bit of a reputation as a ladies’ man, but he’s definitely the love them and leave them type.”
Whatever Carney has planned for me can’t be more humiliating than this.
I won’t let him see me sweat.
“So am I, Mr. Carney.”
I’m sure that was believable. Jesus.
His eyes narrow. A man with this bad a poker face shouldn’t own a casino.
“Do you think your little display last night did anything but draw my ire, Sasha? It changes nothing.”
“I have to disagree, sir. I’m sure Mr. Harvey and your investors are watching this process very carefully to see how it plays out. If you step out of line, it’ll be all over the papers.”
I’d banked on Carney making some play at using my presence to brag to his fancy friends and had planned accordingly but having a reporter from the Globe there when he did so had been an incredible stroke of luck.
“You’re awfully arrogant. You think I can’t keep things out of the papers, girl?” He steps closer, but I hold my ground.
“I’m sure you can, sir. After all you were able to suppress what your goons did to me back in July. But do you think you’re the only one with connections? In the press and elsewhere? You’re stretched thin, and you might have been able to completely crush many of the people you stepped on to get where you are, to get that license.” I gesture at the casino. “But can you honestly tell me there aren’t people waiting for you to stumble so they can rip your empire apart and scavenge the pieces?”
I sound like I know more than I do, but it’s mostly thanks to Dr. Smith’s wise words. “One misstep, Mr. Carney. That’s all it takes sometimes to destroy a life’s work.”
His nostrils flare as he stares daggers into me.
“I’m not trying to make you angry, sir. I’m just trying to tell you that there are better ways to do business.”
He laughs at that. “Oh sweetheart, as if you know a goddamn thing about business. You slut it up with my son and you think you’re a venture capitalist now? Let me tell you something about business.” He jams his finger in my face. “You think it was bad before? Just you wait. And don’t expect my loser son to do anything to help you.”
“I don’t expect anything from Finn.” It hurts me to say it, but it’s true. “Finn is brilliant, though. He’s another of your blind spots.”
A malicious smile spreads across James Carney’s face.
My fingers and toes go numb.
“I heard you were at his place last weekend. How did he get you there?”
The way he enjoys wielding his cruelty is chilling.
“Did he ask you out on a nice date, huh? I’m sure that must be it. But whatever it was, it had nothing to do with me. I didn’t have you dragged to his apartment. I’m sure he told you I was behind it, but no, I didn’t arrange that little escapade. But in some ways I suppose you’re right—being conniving is a form of brilliance, and Finn has that in spades.”
I clench my teeth together to keep my jaw from dropping in shock. I’m dizzy from the effort required to stay upright. I don’t want to believe this. I don’t want to believe Finn could do something like this, but something in my gut tells me Carney isn’t lying.
“Terrible to think my own son would retraumatize someone and then use it as a pretense to fuck her into getting his way. Finn’s a thoughtful man. I’m sure he’ll give you a call. Make sure you get home okay.” He puts his arm on my shoulder and I cringe.