I paused mid-swing and looked around in shock. Ever, Vaughn, Wren, and Tyra stood at the helm of the room filled with people, half of whom I didn’t recognize. I had no doubt they were all friends of Jamie’s.
I stood there, not knowing what to do or say. No one had ever done anything like this for me. It was more than I could have hoped for, more than I deserved.
“I hope we didn’t scare you too much,” Tyra apologized as she walked up to me with a gentle smile and a tiara in her hand. She was so tiny that I had to bend down a little for her to place it on my head. “I told Jamie not to scare you like that.”
“It’s fine,” I whispered with a grin.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to hang out,” she said when she was done positioning the tiara. “Someone had to make sure the guys didn’t screw up your party or invite strippers.”
I didn’t get the chance to respond before I felt Jamie locking his arm around my waist and pulling me back until my ass rested against his groin. At five foot ten, I used to hate being taller than most girls, but being in Jamie’s arms always made me feel like my height was just right—especially when we played together.
“Happy birthday, baby.”
“But my birthday isn’t until tomorrow.” It was all I could think to say. Jamie was destroying me in the best possible way.
Wordlessly, he lifted his phone and showed me the time.
12:01.
I sucked more air than I needed into my lungs.
I was eighteen today.
I was free. Or at least… I would soon be.
Jamie pulled me deeper into the house, where he introduced me to his friends. I was in awe at how many he’d made in the year he’d been here. Most of the kids here attended some of the public schools nearby, which meant Jamie had been busy.
I pursed my lips, wondering just how popular he’d become. I looked around, searching for the jealous gazes of scorned lovers and was surprised to see that there were only three other girls besides Four, Lou, and Tyra in attendance. The girls didn’t keep me in suspense as to who they were either as they flanked some short Latino, who introduced himself as Matty before introducing me to his extra limbs. By the time he’d finished speaking their names, I’d already forgotten them as I watched the trio and their fuck-me smiles drink in the sight of Jamie.
“Well, aren’t you a peach,” Matty gushed, “and I do mean a peach. Your ass is amazing, girl.”
“Uhhh, thanks?”
He batted his long lashes, making me giggle. “You’re welcome.”
“Back off,” Jamie warned. “I don’t give a shit if you are gay. Stop staring at my girlfriend’s ass.”
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. Girlfriend?
I ignored the butterflies taking flight in my stomach and wondered when Jamie and I had discussed that? We’d spent the last week alone together and talking wasn’t even in the top three of the things we’d done with that time.
I could never allow myself to become Jamie’s girlfriend, knowing I was still planning to leave town.
“Cute,” Matty complimented as he gestured to our shirts.
Already knowing what mine said, I glanced at Jamie’s. I was just now noticing that he wore the same white T-shirt with bold black lettering except his read “I’m with her,” and there was an arrow pointing right at me.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
The last thing I ever wanted to do was to break Jamie’s heart again. What choice did I have? I had to tell him.
Jamie glanced down at me, and whatever he saw in my eyes made him lower his head and kiss me with every ounce of passion he possessed. He’d taken the fateful words from the tip of my tongue and devoured them.
I could hear Ever’s voice in my head pleading with me not to run and Four telling me to find a way to stay. And Jamie… all I could feel was his heart pounding inside his chest. I recognized that long-lost rhythm because it matched my own.
When Jamie finally came up for air, he searched my gaze. He seemed satisfied with whatever he saw and pecked my lips. “And that’s a promise,” he whispered.
“A promise?”
Skimming his lips across my cheeks, I enjoyed each caress of his breath across my flushed skin until he gently nipped the shell of my ear. “That whenever you’re hurting, I’ll kiss it better.”
I had just barely caught my breath when Jamie stole it away again. How could I possibly walk away from him now?
I knew right then that I wasn’t going anywhere.
This town was no longer big enough for my father and me, but one way or another, he’d be the one to go—not me.
I didn’t get the chance to respond before I was pulled away by Tyra for birthday cake, which Vaughn carried from the kitchen, and I snickered at all the little bumblebees and their crowns before everyone began to sing.
I knew what I wanted long before I was told to make a wish, so closing my eyes, I blew out the eighteen candles.
“Did you enjoy your party?”
My eyes were closed, my head tipped back, and my lips, which Jamie had kissed until swollen, were parted as he moved in and out of me slowly from below. Dawn was creeping in outside the open window. I could hear the waves crashing in the ocean and feel the cool breeze whispering over my skin as I rode him.
“Yes.”
“Did you feel like a princess?”
Tonight wasn’t the first party I’d been to, but it was the only one I’d ever enjoyed. Before, I was too afraid of damaging my reputation and embarrassing my father, but tonight, I’d sung, danced, drank, and laughed. It all felt new to me. As if I were learning how to walk for the first time. I now had friends who felt more like family, and they were people who gave me no choice but to fight because I could never let them go.
“Yes.”
“Look at me, Barbette.”
The willpower it took to open my eyes when he was making me feel this good was great. The adoration in his eyes when my gaze found his, however, made it worth it.
“Do you know that I never stopped loving you?”
I gasped, and it had nothing to do with the orgasm rippling through me. It was the first time I’d heard those words from him, and I never realized how much I craved them until now. If I were honest, I always knew. Jamie hadn’t given me a little of himself at a time. He’d been all in from the very first.
“I…” The words were right there on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t bring myself to utter them. Not until I knew for sure that I wouldn’t break his heart again. I just couldn’t relive the pain I saw in his eyes the first time I cut him deep. Cradling his face in my hands, I kissed his lips through the tears soaking my face. “I know.”
Halloween… Five Years Ago
“MAKE SURE YOU HOLD YOUR brother’s and sister’s hands whenever you cross the street,” my mother scolded. It was Halloween, and we were in Blackwood Keep, visiting my uncle and aunt before we left Boston for good.
As if having my heart broken the first time wasn’t bad enough, my father informed us shortly after that he was moving back home and taking us with him—to fucking Scotland.
Anger whipped through me at the thought of leaving everything I cared about behind.