“Isn’t that a pity?” Missie said.
We all laughed. Some champagne made its way up my nose.
“It’s a little ironic, isn’t it, that what’s harassment from one douche would be welcome coming from someone else?” Gola mused.
“Consent makes everything sexy,” Ruth said.
“To consent,” I said, raising my glass.
“I’d consent all over Dominic Russo if he’d let me,” the adorably drunk Missie said to the bottom of her cocktail.
“Did that really happen? In the copy room, I mean?” I asked, swinging the conversation back in the direction from whence it had come.
“Girl, Paul Russo was a straight-up creeper,” Nina said. “The day he left, a bunch of us went out at lunch and bought cheap ass champagne and drank a toast to never having to get our asses groped again.”
“And then we did it again when Dominic came on board,” Missie added dreamily. “Because he’s so beautiful.”
“You guys ever think about telling Dominic that?” I asked.
“What? That we think he’s crazy hot? Like ‘the devil created him, he’s that hot’ hot?” Nina frowned.
“Uh. No. The part about you’re glad he’s here and you like working with him.”
“You mean actually speak to that fine man filet? Nope. No thanks. I once ran into him coming out of a conference room, and rather than apologize, I sprinted into the bathroom. The men’s bathroom,” Missie confessed. “He’s so beautiful and broody, and I just want to be the one to tame him and show him love.” She sang the last few words Broadway-style.
“But he’s so ungettable. I think that’s what I like about him best. If I could ‘get’ him, I’d be beautiful and special and obviously really good in bed because he’s not the type of man to settle for anything less.” Ruth sighed.
I covered my laugh with another sip of champagne. Dominic would literally die if he could hear this conversation.
“What’s it like being his assistant?” Gola demanded.
“Yes, spill. All the details.”
Why was everyone pumping me for information on the man tonight? “Uh. I don’t know. He likes tea. He’s crotchety on the outside, but he’s mostly an okay human being.”
They waited raptly for more Dominic tidbits.
“He listens when I talk. He’s careful, conscientious. He cares about what he’s doing. He is definitely not his father. Overall, he’s a good boss.”
“You guys fight a lot. Not gonna lie, it’s totally hot. I want to be you when I grow up,” Missie trilled.
“We just rub each other the wrong way. And I’m only with him until his admin Greta comes back. Here’s hoping I end up with a husband who surprises me with a two-month European tour next, right?”
They exchanged glances.
“What?”
“Her husband didn’t surprise her,” Nina said. “Dominic sent her away.”
41
Ally
I was blinking so rapidly, my eyelashes felt like hummingbird wings.
“Dominic sent Greta away?” I asked Nina, going for nonchalance.
“Would any of you lovely ladies like to try—”
“Not now, Carl!” I yelled at the approaching server with his tray of butterflied shrimp. The man ran off with his appetizers.
“Oh, yeah,” Nina said, waving a hand. “I heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend. Dominic personally arranged the vacation time with HR. He called Jasmine—the grumpy one with zero camera skills—at home at two a.m. on a Friday night and said he needed the deal done that weekend.”
“Technically she wasn’t at home. She was out clubbing with a super cute jazz singer she met on a pub crawl,” Missie chimed in.
“Wait a second. Grumpy HR Jasmine, the mid-sneeze immortalizer, goes clubbing with jazz singers?” I asked. “You know what? Never mind. Please continue.”
“Anyway, he said it was a thank you for putting up with his bullshit for so long. He paid out of pocket for her time off and her travel. Can you imagine?” Nina gushed.
“Two a.m. on a Friday?” I asked.
“What would he have been doing at that time of night that he decided he needed to send his assistant away for two months?” Gola asked.
“Maybe she witnessed him committing a murder,” I said nervously.
I knew exactly what he’d been doing that Friday night. It would have been about ten minutes after I stormed out of his townhouse in my fancy stripper clothes.
I needed another shot from potentially bisexual bartender guy.
By the next morning, I’d had the promotion and “signing bonus.” I knew he’d puppet-mastered me into it. I just hadn’t realized how diabolical he’d been. I thought he’d taken advantage of a situation, not manipulated his admin into a sixty-day paid vacation.
“Not to stir up the rumor mill, Ally,” Nina said, pulling me out of my bitter fugue state, “but I think he likes you. Like really likes you.”
“Or hates you,” Missie added. “We honestly can’t decide. We go back and forth about it. I personally hope he hates you because he’s saving all his love for me. But he looks at you like he wants to throttle you or throw you out of a moving vehicle or—”
“Fuck your brains out,” Nina filled in helpfully.
I choked on my own spit. “Guys, I’m not like sleeping my way to the top. I assure you. And Dominic has no interest in me whatsoever.”
“First of all, you’re no Malina. You wouldn’t bang your boss to get ahead. You’d bang him because he’s so hot I bet he can make scrambled eggs on his abs,” Gola insisted. “He’s said that though? About not being interested in you?”
I closed my eyes. “On multiple occasions.”
“He’s lying. He’s totally lying,” Ruth squealed.
“I’ve never seen a man look at a woman like that. Like he’s a kid looking in the window of a candy store and he’s deciding if he’s willing to break the glass to get to the candy and devour it,” Missie said, glassy-eyed.
“Well, that’s an uncomfortable description,” I said.
I felt a thrill of heat work its way down my spine.
“He’s looking at you right now,” Nina said without moving her lips, which made it all the more suspicious. Everyone but me whipped around to zero in on Dominic.
“Definitely wants to throw her off a roof.”
“After he gives her like ten orgasms.”
“Can I please be you when I grow up?” Missie whisper-sang.
“Why wouldn’t you two just get together?” Ruth asked, fanning herself with a cocktail napkin.
“Besides the fact that I’m not his type, he’s not my type, he’s not interested in me, and sleeping with coworkers is a bad idea?”
“Yeah. Besides all that,” Ruth said.
“His dad,” I said.
I faced four confused-looking women. “We’re not picking up what you’re putting down,” Gola said.
“He takes your inability to stare directly into his beauty and your mad escapes to the men’s room to mean you’re afraid of him. You know, like you think he’s another pervert.”