“I’ll deliver the message. She keeps extras on hand for trips, but they never go anywhere.”
I laugh, and he smiles again.
“My dad said you and your boyfriend need a ride into town in the morning?”
“We do, but he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Brother?” he asks fast. “Close cousin? Best friend who would kill anyone who touches you?”
“None of the above.”
He blows out a breath and gives an exaggerated nod. “Good. The truck is very close quarters. I’d rather not have any issues when I’m pressed up against you. In the morning … you know, when I give you a ride.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you hitting on me, Jared, Jerry’s son?”
He puts his hands behind his back and shrugs. “Not very often my dad brings a beautiful woman home with him.”
“Your mo—”
“Fine,” he cuts me off before I finish. “He’s never brought home a gorgeous chick with a smile like yours, and if I haven’t been clear, yes, I am hitting on you.”
He’s cute and coming a step closer. “Let’s go somewhere.”
“Where? The truck you want to give me a ride in?”
That earns me a surprised quirk of the brow. “We would need to take it if I’m going to buy you a drink. Long way to the bar though. Might get lost or—”
Metal bangs above me, and I jump off the steps, my heart pounding when I whip around. Chaz glowers at us from the other side of the screen, his jaw hardened and focus over my head on Jared. Then it lowers to me.
The way he used to look at me made me all heart-fluttery and weak, but I can’t be weak when it comes to him. I need to be impenetrable. With the look he’s giving me now, I have to be, or he’ll eat me alive.
I stare him down through the steel mesh until he hooks his head for me to come inside and then walks away.
“Not your boyfriend?” Jared says.
I shoot him a smile before I climb the steps. “I’ll see you and your truck in the morning.”
He’s still standing there with a disappointed look on his face when I shut both the doors. I take a deep breath, touching my forehead to the inside one. When I can’t stand Chaz’s stare on my back anymore, I turn around.
His hair’s still wet, haphazardly pushed up, and the gym shorts and V-neck look a few sizes too big but still manage to hang off him in all the right ways. God, he’s gorgeous. It’s truly unfair how he can be such an ass and still make my pulse race without trying.
I grab a few things out of the bag before tossing it on the table on my way to the bathroom. When I come out a few minutes later, Chaz has a toothbrush stuck in his mouth. He’s propped against the counter, so I have to sidestep to get to the table. He smells spicy, like whatever brand of deodorant Jerry’s wife sent for him.
“Getting friendly with the locals?” He throws the toothbrush in the sink beside him and twists for a purple plastic cup behind him. A row of them are upside down, drying, but he must have filled one.
“Only the one,” I say, returning everything to the bag.
One side of his mouth turns up in a smirk. “Maybe we should vacation together more often. You get a fuck buddy. I get my soul tainted.”
I sigh as he sets the cup in the sink. He stretches out his fingers, bringing his hand back. I don’t even think he’s aware of it until he catches me looking.
“The darkness is cold,” he says, turning his palm up. “I thought it was because I’d lost my light, but I’m cold because of what’s currently inside of me, not what isn’t anymore.” His brow pulls in, real pain on his face. “I once said there was nothing worse than being mortal.”
“You could be dead. I’m sure, as an angel, you think it’s worse, but I’ve died enough times to know—”
His eyes flash to mine, stormy and intimidating, and I know I shouldn’t have said anything.
“You don’t know shit,” he grinds out. “I was brought into existence with divine light. Every second without it has been like drowning. I’ve spent my entire punishment gasping for air, filling my lungs with water. And I keep sucking it down, waiting for the slightest bit of oxygen to surge through me because those moments are worth every second of suffering. But now, those moments are gone, and the water’s cold and muddy.” He pushes off the counter, taking a step toward me. “Let’s not forget whose fault that is.”
“You know what?” I snap. “Go ahead and blame me. For pretending to date Kai and trying to save my sister. The Dimming Blade, the darkness—all of it. If you want to hate me for it, then hate me, Chazaqiel. I don’t care. But while you’re hating me, remember the only reason you’re even here to do it is because of me.”
My voice trembles at the end, and unwilling to give him my tears, I start to walk away until he spins me by the waist, trapping me between his arms and his hard body. I have to lean back to put space between us, and I tip my chin up to meet his harsh glare.
“Trust me,” he says, “I want to hate you.” One of his hands moves, and I can’t tell if he means to or not, but his cool fingers graze my back under my shirt, making me shiver.
“You want to, or you do?” I sound out of breath, and I realize how fast I’m breathing, my grip digging into his biceps.
He licks his lips, his eyes falling to my mouth at the same time, then they come back to mine different, darker. “Want,” he rasps. “I want to hate you. So. Fucking. Much.”
Two breaths—one mine, one his—and then his lips are on mine. I grab the back of his neck as he sets me on the sad excuse for a kitchen counter, knocking over the row of plastic cups. No part of him is asking permission, not his hands tugging my straps down my arms, not his tongue sinking into my mouth. And I know he won’t be trying to take any second of it away from me this time.
I shove his shirt up and we break apart, so he can yank it over his head. He groans as his lips crash into mine again, like it took too long. My head falls back when he moves down my neck, running his tongue across my skin. He pushes down my top, kissing his way to my breasts. The low-hanging cupboard presses into my back while he sucks one nipple into his mouth, his cold palm on the other. I whimper at the mix of sensations, and he jerks me to the edge of the counter into him. When my legs wrap around his waist, I feel how hard he is and lift my hips, wanting more. He grinds into me, his mouth still on me.
“Chaz…” My back arches into him, and he slips his arm behind me to hold me up.
“Say it.” He raises his head enough to see me. “Tell me you want me. That you’ve always wanted me.” He thrusts forward harder, working my sweatpants down with each one. “When you were with Kai, in my apartment, when my hands were on you at the hotel, five minutes ago while you flirted with the redneck.”
“Yes.” I circle my arms around his neck and bring myself up until we’re face-to-face. “I’ve wanted you the entire time.”